The Kick is Up and It's Good!

Everybody remembers this game..



You made the football out of a piece of paper and used your hands as the goalposts.. You slid the paper across the desk and if it landed across the edge and teetered, but didn't fall, it was a touchdown. Then you flicked the paper football (however you felt comfortable holding it) through the "uprights" for the extra point. Indoor recess would never be the same once we found out about this game. That was 30 years ago. And now, the Twins of Anarchy have discovered paper football..

There's just one twist.. You can now purchase a paper football "kit". It comes with a triangular football, however it is not paper, it is rubber. And it comes with a goalpost that is plastic and sits on a spring that is loaded into a base so it is flexible, for whatever reason.

Before you ask, no I did not purchase this for my boys. However, one of their favorite places to go eat is the Charlie Horse. They love the arcade games there and the food is decent. So they know the rule is that if they eat their dinner, they can go and play games for a bit. Their favorite is this cool Batman game. And they have the gas pedal rigged so you don't need to press on it.. That is a huge help for parents who have kids who can't reach the pedals.. But I digress..

With certain games, you can earn tickets. We convinced them to keep saving their tickets and maybe pool them together at some point when there is something they really want and we can redeem the tickets for it. Unfortunately, they both saw the "paper football kit" and wanted to redeem their tickets so they could each get one. This way they would each have a goalpost and a football.

Well, when we got back home and started to play, the rubber football didn't exactly careen across the table like a paper football does. In fact, it doesn't move at all. So all they end up doing is flicking the rubber triangle through the plastic uprights..  BLASPHEMY I SAID!

I took out a piece of paper, made a paper football and removed the plastic goalposts. I showed them how to really play and then we started flicking extra points..  The first one I flicked right into Mitch's face..

Welcome to Paper Football Mitch.

Spoiled

So my job comes with some perks like sporting event tickets, concerts, restaurant gift certificates, etc.. But this perk I got on my own.

I won a weekend stay at a Hilton Hotel in Philadelphia from a raffle. Coincidentally enough, I happen to know the manager of the hotel. My family and I were heading down to NY for our annual cousins weekend and then we were going to continue on to Philadelphia for a family vacation. We'd do some historical tours in Philly, take in a Phillies game, go to the zoo, etc. But we needed to change the raffle award to weeknights instead of a weekend to accommodate the dates we would be there.

I was not only able to get a great deal on 3 nights at the hotel, but got upgraded to a suite. So when we finally got to the hotel, we walk in and to the right was a small kitchen, to the left an enormous bathroom and a King size bed. There were couches, chairs and a work area as well. Then, we took the boys to the adjoining room which was to be theirs. They found a TV, a bathroom and a queen size bed all for them! Needless to say they were super psyched. That was also the weekend that Douglas started pooping in the potty.. I doubt there's any correlation, but you never know.

The reason for the back story is because that was the first time they had ever been to a hotel. Just like the first time they ever gone to a Red Sox game, they were in a luxury box. (They're first Bruins game was in a box too). They literally ate their way through 4 innings of the game and we practically had to roll them out to the car. I hope they don't think that every sporting event is like that..

So we were in NY recently for my twin cousins' Bat Mitzvah and we were staying in a hotel. We opened up the door to the room which was just a standard room with 2 queen beds, etc, nothing fancy. Immediately, we hear:

Daniel: "Where are you guys sleeping"?

Douglas: "Where's the kitchen"?

Ugh.. Looks like I have some un-spoiling to do..

The Cheng Du Conundrum

So recently I went to go visit my friend Terrence who was in from the west coast..  It was a last minute decision to go as my wife had an appointment after work and I was going to be home with the boys..  I thought, why not..  I'll just pick them up from school and take them to the restaurant.  He's never met them before and would love to meet them..

Now, let's back up and refresh..  Max is completely potty trained..  I mean, this kid is 1 step away from wiping his own butt..  It is truly a miracle, and not one of those "I saw Jesus in my grilled cheese" kind of miracles..  But we were seriously starting to believe that Max was going to be the first child in the history of the world to graduate high school still wearing pull ups..  And then, one day, it clicked..  Thank God..

Now, Mitch on the other hand is a different story.. He peed in the potty first and has been doing that consistently pretty well without too many accidents for over a year now..  It's the pooping he has a slight problem with..  Sometimes he'll tell us he has to poop, sometimes he doesn't.  More often than not he just seems to slide away out of view and we don't notice what's going on until Max comes over and says "Mommy/Daddy (one word) Mitch is pooping"..  And sure enough, he is.. I don't know if it's a twin thing or what, but more often than not he's right..

Fast forward to after work..  I pick up the boys from school and head to the restaurant.  Now, since I came directly from work and this was a spur of the moment thing, I do not have the diaper bag.  Repeat, do NOT have the diaper bag..  This would normally have such items as, oh, I don't know, extra pull ups and wipes..   These are two very important items to have when one of your children is not fully potty trained.  He had already pooped twice that day however so I wasn't too concerned about him pooping again..

What's that old law from that guy Murphy?  Yes, that one..

Inevitably, Mitch has to go potty while we are in the restaurant.  I figure, great he told me, we'll go, he'll be fine..  Yeah well, he told me had to go potty, which he did..  But he neglected to tell me that he had already pooped.. What do I do?  I have no extra pull ups, I have no wipes, I have no extra underwear.. 

So I wet a bunch of paper towels and wiped him till he's clean.  And then Mitch learned a new phrase to add to his already extensive language:  Going Commando