Best Things in Life are Free

There are things in life you want. Sometimes it's a job, sometimes it's a person, sometimes it's a material object. What I've always wanted though, actually happened to me last weekend.

It may sound corny, but since my boys were born, I've always wanted to do certain things with them. Yes, there are the obligatory wrestling matches, teaching them how to ride bikes and coaching them in sports. I've done all of that. But this past Sunday was different. It was a beautifully perfect fall day in New England. T-shirt and windpants weather, perfect for outdoor sports.

They wanted to ride their bikes to a friends house and when we knew he was home, they took off and I followed behind. When we got there the boys wanted to play football. So it was their friend and his father vs the T of A and me.

And that's when it happened. Here I was in a huddle with my boys drawing up passing routes on my hand like we all did when we were kids. Who doesn't remember "ok, you go to the car and turnaround, you go to the rock and cut across and you just go deep and I'll hit whoever is open"? A wave of emotion came over me for a moment and I had to stop, compose myself and continue telling them where they needed to go for the play.

I had the best time just playing outside with them and their friend. So much so we lost track of time. About 3 hours went by and we realized we needed to start heading home for dinner (the street lights were about to come on).

They say that childhood goes by quickly so you need to take pictures to remember certain events. I don't need a picture of that huddle. I'll never forget it.

Everyone Remembers Their First

Everyone remembers their first..  That sentence is usually tied to one's first sexual experience. But it doesn't matter what first you're talking about.  Whether that be your first pet, your first kiss or first concert, these are things that humans tend to lock away deep in their memories and can recall at a moment's notice.

Well maybe you have heard there is this little band called the Foo Fighters who this past weekend played this little ballpark called Fenway. I've seen a number of shows there and I'll be honest, the acoustics aren't great. And, as long as we're being honest, it's not that great for watching a ballgame either. It's an amazing park, but the seats suck, they don't even face the field half the time and more often than not the product on the field isn't even worth watching. But I digress..

For a long time it has been a goal of mine, a bucket list item if you will, to sit front row at a concert. And unless you count being belly up to the stage for Letters to Cleo and Bare Naked Ladies at Smith College in the mid 90s front row (which I don't), it was still on the list. Until Saturday.

I was lucky enough to go to this show with my wife and 2 friends and sat front row, right in front of a wall of bass amplifiers. I truly thought my heart was going to explode during the Mighty Mighty Bosstones set. Thankfully, the Foo Fighters are not a bass heavy band and Taylor Hawkins, the drummer was set on the opposite side of the stage. Again, having never officially sat that close for a show before I had no idea what I was in for. I was able to see small interactions between the band as well as between the band and friends that were offstage which was interesting.

I had always wondered what it was like to sit front row, and now I know.. it's LOUD! Thankfully we were wearing ear plugs because we're not that young anymore and actually value our hearing.. But it was such a different perspective, turning around and looking at tens of thousands of people behind me was weird. And although I enjoyed it, I don't need to do it again. I can cross it off the bucket list and move on to something else.

And that something else was enjoying a Foo Fighters concert with my boys. They are still young (8 in September), however they have been listening to the Foo Fighters since they've been alive. We always told ourselves that we would not succumb to the Barney and Disney Radio crap.. If we were driving, they were going to listen to what we listened to. Hence, their music library consists of all sorts of music. (See earlier blog entitled Müzik, Μουσική, Musiikki)  For example, their favorite song right now is Fire by Jimi Hendrix. A friend's son is learning drums and he made a birthday mix of good drum songs and handed it out at the party. My boys listen to it every time they're in the car. Sadly, they have been asking if they can see Jimi in concert. I told them that unfortunately he is dead and has been for a long time. But, I know there are many people right there with them who would like to see him in concert.

Thankfully I am in a position where I was able to take them to this show and share their first concert experience with them. Everyone plays the game. You know, "what was your first concert"? Mine was Steve Miller Band at Great Woods (known by no other name) in the summer of 1992. We were CIT's at summer camp in NH and as a special night out trip we all got tickets to the show. We sat on what was known back then as "The Lawn". Great Woods is an amphitheater in Mansfield, MA that holds about 19K people. 10K in the lower seating area and then another 9K up on the lawn. This was pre cell phone days where you met someone at a place at a time and you went there. There was no "text me when you get there" or "change of plans we're going here instead". You had to wade through thousands of people just to get the side of the lawn to go to the bathroom, get something to eat, etc. There are very large cement poles that tell you what section you're in if you are in the lower bowl area. Well people on the lawn used to use those as markers so you knew about where you were. And then you used that pole and and an approximation of how far up the lawn you were so you could meet back up with your group. An inexact science at best, yet we always seemed to manage to meet back up with our friends. But after numerous iterations of "the lawn" going from grass, to mulch, to sand, etc they have now turned it into actual rows of seats which makes it more difficult for larger groups to sit together, dance, etc. Oh well, another part of my youth gone.. 

But everyone has a first concert and everyone has that conversation with people regardless of who they are. And it doesn't matter what it was. Oftentimes kids were taken to a show by their parents because either a) they thought it would be a nice night out or b) the parents had tickets and couldn't get a babysitter. But this show was something I knew the boys would want to see and I wanted to share it with them. Again, they've grown up listening to this band and know about 10-11 songs. That is probably more than some of the people that were there to be honest. They were able to sing along to some of the them and had no problem dancing around and just being mesmerized at the live performance that was happening right in front of them. 

As I've said before, life is full of experiences and this opportunity was one I was not about to pass up.

Cross another one off my bucket list too. It's something that they will never ever forget, nor will I. 

Luke 6:40

So we're in the car recently and a song comes on the radio. Mitch says "Oh, I know this song." "It's Cecilia and the Satellite". I said that's correct and it's by Andrew McMahon. (I will forever believe that it should be sung by the band Phoenix, but I digress). Anyway, I said the scroll on my radio also says In The Wildnerness.

So naturally, I say that the word wilderness has a bonus letter. Quickly the conversation devolved into a 1st grade (now 2nd grade) grammar conversation about bonus letters, digraphs and the like. I asked what makes a bonus letter and the answer was it has to have a short vowel sound that precedes the double letter f, l, s and sometimes z. So we all took turns thinking of examples of bonus letter words.

The conversation between us went back and forth for a few minutes until Mitch finally says, "you know dad, sometimes I think we're the teachers and you're the student".

I couldn't agree more Mitch.. I couldn't agree more.

Timing is Everything

Let's just say, comedic timing is not Max's forte. Cute kid, pretty good at sports, very good at math, loves to create things.. But he will never, ever be a stand up comedian.  And that's ok..

However, every dog has his day..

We ended up having a bonus Hanukkah night as my parents were away over the holiday. So on Christmas Eve my family, my parents and my sister's family all got together for dinner and to celebrate.

During dinner, Mitchell leans over and says "Dada, are we getting presents tonight?"  So naturally I said "Mitchell, is getting presents the only reason for Hanukkah?"  He answers with "No?" Of course I should have responded with if he was asking me or telling me, but I'll let that go.  I did respond with "Good answer."

After a few seconds go by,  Mitchell leans in again and says "so, are we getting presents"? And as we're all laughing Max chimes in perfectly and says "Well played Mitch. Well played".

The room was in hysterics not only because of the initial laughter of the question and not only from what Max had said but the fact that his timing was impeccable and it was the first time ever he had nailed it.. We were all so proud of him!

It may not seem like much, but to see the interaction of the boys with adults and starting to use more adult phrases that we use is amazing to watch. They are only 7 and I have to keep that in mind, but the difference just between 6 and 7 has been astronomical. They are like real little people now. #ImARealLittleBoy

Spontaneity

The real triumph of this blog post is that I actually spelled the word spontaneity without looking it up first.. I am more than mildly impressed with myself..  And yes, that is about what my life has come to right now and yes, it is sad.. But I digress.. 

This past July 4th (well July 3rd if you want to get technical) we packed up the bag and took the boys to the nearby lake for the fireworks. Right at the beach area they had a band playing, carnival games, food trucks, etc.. A very festive atmosphere. However we learned the hard way last year that being that close to the water meant the louder the fireworks. So we decided to stake out a piece of grass on fields across the street near the high school. This area was much less crowded, the boys could run around and get out all of their energy and it was far enough away from the fire works where it shouldn't be a problem. I remembered the chairs and the blanket and the food/drinks, but forgot the football. And the cards. And the stomp rockets. All the planning I had done thinking it was going to be a few hours that we were there until the fireworks started was all for naught. Crap, now what?

Spontaneity, that's what. Instead of playing cards or throwing around the football, we had the boys do wind sprints and burpees. Then, they went over to the blocking sled used by the town football team (I think) and tried to move it. That was classic. Clearly these two activities did not take up too much time so we went over to the beach area for some games and fun. But there was a lot of time left to kill.

Soon enough, more families started settling in. And before I knew it, the boys were off playing with kids they didn't know on a dirty, dusty baseball diamond. Within 5 minutes they had made up their own game and played it non stop for about an hour and a half. Not only did this entertain the boys for the majority of the time we had before the fireworks, but they had fun, got a lot of energy out as 6 year old boys often have and they met some new friends.

So, what I learned is that all the planning in the world sometimes can't make up for spontaneity. Sometimes you need to just let them explore, meet new kids and make friends, create their own games and have fun. It worked out better than I could have imagined.

Oh, and in case you were wondering the fireworks hadn't been going for more than 3 minutes before they were crying they were too loud so we left.  Hey, at least we beat the traffic home.

Reading Is Fun

I've been telling my kids since I felt they could comprehend it, "If you can read, you can do anything". It's true. Think about it. Back during slavery, they wouldn't allow the slaves to have access to books or learn to read for fear they would become educated. It was a way of keeping control. So I explain to them, "if you can read, you can do anything".

Well they are six now and while we've been working hard with them, reading to them forever as well as working with them on spelling, sounding out words, etc, you can't push it. If you push it, they can become frustrated and shut down. Then they'll see it as more of a chore and not learn to enjoy reading. As a parent or as anyone who is teaching someone something, you really have to walk that fine line of knowing when to push someone and when to back off.

Well, it turns out that Mitch can read. We'd be walking in a store and he would just point to a sign and read it. Or we'd be at the kitchen table and he would point to a magazine and read a few words. Turns out, that while at parent teacher conferences a little ways back, his teacher gave us a list of words each Kindergartner should know by the end of the school year. He knows them all. I'm not saying he's reading novels or anything, but this is a child who hasn't exactly done things on what we would call the "normal" timetable. He never crawled. He didn't walk until he was 19 months old. He was about 6 before being fully potty-trained. Granted the kid has had it a little rough, so we were thinking more often than not he would do whatever it was at his own pace.  Well, I'm glad if something was relatively accelerated, it was this.

And he's excited about it too. A new book from school every week and he's excited to read it at night. We get them both new books all the time and they make it part of their routine before going to sleep to make sure we read at least 1 book. And, now that Mitch is doing well reading and how much praise he's getting, Max is starting to step up his game.

So hopefully, perhaps by the end of the calendar year they'll be reading books to us instead of the other way around. And once that happens, it's a whole new world.

Update: I wrote this awhile ago and never posted it. Since then, Max is definitely better at reading, but just shy about reading out loud. Mitch however will read out loud to himself or to anyone. He'll read anything including magazines, shopping circulars, it doesn't matter. He actually calms down at night but taking out his flashlight and reading a book to himself, out loud before going to bed. I couldn't be more proud.

Spoiled

So my job comes with some perks like sporting event tickets, concerts, restaurant gift certificates, etc.. But this perk I got on my own.

I won a weekend stay at a Hilton Hotel in Philadelphia from a raffle. Coincidentally enough, I happen to know the manager of the hotel. My family and I were heading down to NY for our annual cousins weekend and then we were going to continue on to Philadelphia for a family vacation. We'd do some historical tours in Philly, take in a Phillies game, go to the zoo, etc. But we needed to change the raffle award to weeknights instead of a weekend to accommodate the dates we would be there.

I was not only able to get a great deal on 3 nights at the hotel, but got upgraded to a suite. So when we finally got to the hotel, we walk in and to the right was a small kitchen, to the left an enormous bathroom and a King size bed. There were couches, chairs and a work area as well. Then, we took the boys to the adjoining room which was to be theirs. They found a TV, a bathroom and a queen size bed all for them! Needless to say they were super psyched. That was also the weekend that Douglas started pooping in the potty.. I doubt there's any correlation, but you never know.

The reason for the back story is because that was the first time they had ever been to a hotel. Just like the first time they ever gone to a Red Sox game, they were in a luxury box. (They're first Bruins game was in a box too). They literally ate their way through 4 innings of the game and we practically had to roll them out to the car. I hope they don't think that every sporting event is like that..

So we were in NY recently for my twin cousins' Bat Mitzvah and we were staying in a hotel. We opened up the door to the room which was just a standard room with 2 queen beds, etc, nothing fancy. Immediately, we hear:

Daniel: "Where are you guys sleeping"?

Douglas: "Where's the kitchen"?

Ugh.. Looks like I have some un-spoiling to do..

Where Were You

There are those moments for all of us. Some are personal and some are local, national and even global.

For people who remember, they know where they were when JFK was shot. (Way before my time). They know where they were when the Challenger exploded. (I was in my classroom having recess because my teacher for whatever reason wouldn't let us watch. Another student barged in and told us what happened). They know where they were when 9/11 happened. (I was at work and when told that a plane had hit the WTC, I asked NY or Boston because I knew my mother in law worked at the one in Boston).

But if we think about the ages that we were when certain life events occur, we don't remember much when we're young. I was 10 for the Challenger so I remember that. But I don't remember the Iranian hostage crisis as I was only 3. I don't remember Reagan or Lennon getting shot as I was only 4.

I've struggled going back and forth on whether or not to expose my kids to some of the horrors that are happening in today's very screwed up world. They do not know, to the best of my knowledge about the shooting at Sandy Hook. All I did was come home that night and hug them as tightly as I could. And we snuggled for a long time before they went to sleep. We have never talked about it.

As for yesterday, I don't believe they know either. The TV was definitely on while they were eating dinner, but they did not pay attention. They did not ask what happened, nor did I offer it up. Even though my son had someone running in the marathon for him as part of the Miles for Miracles program with Boston Children's Hospital, he still did not ask. We had been there at the finish line just 48 hour earlier.

Do I show them the video? Do I then teach them about what true evil looks like? Do I save their innocence, even if it's just for 1 day until the next evil comes along in some other form?

I brought them into work with me today. Really for no other reason than just to be with them. It seemed like a good day to do it. We had lunch together in the kitchen. They drew me pictures. It was nice.

My guess is in the future they would not remember what happened yesterday as they are only 5. And even if they did remember, they may not be able to process it completely now so their memory of it would be faint at best.

I think I'll leave it alone and hopefully they'll never know what evil really is.