Experiential Parenting

Parenting is hard work.  There is no way around that. It just is and always will be. And when we take our kids to the playground or on a play date or to an indoor play space, etc we are still tired. So we use this time to relax, catch up on email, social media, etc.. If we're with friends on a play date then our kids play and we relax. Pretty standard stuff.  

However I'm doing my best, when I can to try something new.. It's called Experiential parenting - do what your kids are doing. Now obviously we can't do everything our kids are doing for various reasons. However, when I can, I like to participate. So many times we want to capture what our children are doing on video or pictures that we forget to experience.. Of course there are times we want on video like birthday parties or once in a lifetime opportunities.. But I feel like I want to experience more WITH my children if I can, when I can (and if they'll allow me). So I decided to say what the hell and have some fun.

Over the weekend I took the Twinado to Launch in Norwood. This is a place totally outfitted with trampolines everywhere. I've heard great things about it and to be honest, it looked like a lot of fun. There are so many play spaces around now with inflatable bounce houses, etc that just weren't around when I was a kid. I feel like I totally missed out on something that I would have really enjoyed. So yeah, I got a ticket for myself. And I am glad I did.

It was awesome..  We jumped, played trampoline basketball (and yes I dunked), trampolined into a foam pit, which is much harder to get out of than these kids make it out to be.. In 3 minutes I was only able to jump in twice. It's common sense that when you jump in feet first your feet are under all the foam blocks. But when you try to pick them up so you can get out the foam blocks stick to your socks and the socks fall off. So you have to then grab the sock and continue to try to get out. It was pretty discouraging really. And then we played a few games of trampoline dodge ball which is about as much fun as it sounds.. 

However I know my limitations (I'm not a huge fan of roller coasters, big drops, etc), but these kids have no fear.. Flips and all.. The boys were even jumping on to the wall, which of course was also a trampoline and it looked like they were stopping or pausing while their feet were on the wall and then they'd just jump off back onto the trampoline like they had done it a million times.. I'm pretty sure one of my kids is going to take up Parkour pretty soon.. If you don't know what that is, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihBoqdOsQOo 

And they are also obsessed with American Ninja Warrior, which is a really cool show if you've never seen it.

It was fun to watch them but also fun to be in the middle of it with them.. And when we were waiting in line they asked if I was going to jump with them. I said yes and they were overjoyed.. I love making them happy.. And it makes me happy to know they enjoy spending time with me too..

So if you are able, the next time your kids are experiencing something new or are at a place where parents can participate, do me a favor: Put down the phone and experience WITH your kids.. It's a whole new perspective.. And even though we know parenting is and always will be hard work, it doesn't mean we can't have fun too.

I Got This..

It's a simple phrase really..  I got this.. It could mean many things..  It could mean someone taking care of a meal.. It could mean someone grabbing a round of beers.. Or it could mean that you'll handle something and don't worry about it..  All relatively common uses for the phrase, but when it comes out of your six year old, time to step on the brakes and pull a George Costanza:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d0uUFw5ggM

So recently we had another common occurrence, a separated birthday party..  Meaning, one twin was invited because it was a classmate of his and the other was not invited because more than likely the birthday girl doesn't even know he has a brother, much less a twin. And we're totally fine with this. In fact, we even like it. The reason is because it gives us a rare opportunity to have some one on one time.

It's at the movies and is a drop off birthday party (a whole new world for us). Mitch is the only boy out of about 10 girls. As my wife relayed the story to me, his parting words were "Don't worry mom; I got this".

Oh crap..

My 6 year old is telling my wife "I got this"? I'm not ready for this..  Granted this is the child that is much more independent. Although he still doesn't like to go upstairs when no one is up there, he's much more apt to play alone than need someone to play with him. And he's getting better..

But if at 6 he feels no fear heading into a birthday party full of 10 girls, what else will he feel no fear about?

First day of Junior High, the beginning of potentially the most awkward 2 years of any boys' life?  Don't worry, I got this.

First day of High School?  Don't worry, I got this.

That big game?  Don't worry coach, I got this.

First day of college?  Don't worry, I got this.

First big presentation at work? Don't worry boss, I got this.

We overtly want our children to be independent so they do not have to rely on us for everything.. However, we covertly wish they would stay young and innocent forever. Maybe that way we wouldn't have to hear the words "Don't worry, I got this". As Dr. Seuss so aptly put it, "Kid, you'll move mountains!"

Take a Breath

You know that feeling.. It's been a long day..  You've been up since early in the morning, the commute sucked, your day was long dealing with, well people in general.. Your commute home sucked. The kids were wild at dinnertime, the bath was awful and it took all your energy just to get them into bed.

You've finally had a chance to eat dinner and maybe catch up on some TV, a chapter in your book or some quality time with the pup.. But now it's time to get ready for bed and while brushing your teeth what do you see?  Yup, the door opening and your child is coming into the bathroom when they should be asleep..

After a day like you've had the first instinct may be to yell or say "what are you doing out of bed" at a not so quiet level.

But take my advice and take a breath. It's not an easy thing to do, but may be worthwhile.

See a few weeks ago while checking in on the Twinado I accidentally slammed the door.. The windows were open and as you may know it doesn't take much for the door to slam quickly if the windows are open. I cringed and waited a minute to see if anyone woke up and I didn't hear anything so I left.

But there he was, standing there at the door so I just said "what's wrong"? All he wanted to do was hug me. So I got down to the floor and he gave me a big hug, then turned around and slammed the door in my face. Just a little payback for slamming the door while he was asleep. Basically saying I still love you daddy, but I'm slamming the door back at your for waking me up.  Little shit..

Blank Slate

For lack of a better term, kids are blank slates. They may have some innate talent or intelligence passed down that is hereditary, but otherwise, pretty much blank slates.

We can make these children into anything we want them to be. We can teach them manners, or we can teach them to be rude. We can teach them to read so they can learn, or we can teach them to watch TV so they can zone out. We can teach them to try new foods and expand their taste buds, or we can just feed them processed food which is bad for them, but we know they like just so they eat.

Whitney Houston had it right when she said that the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Jesus, did I just quote Whitney Houston from memory?  Ugh, don't worry I'll show myself out of man town.

But seriously, when our kids grow up, they are going to be the next leaders of our country. The next teachers, the next architects, the next programmers, the next pro athletes, the next everything. So don't we want to give them the best head start we can?

I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Nothing worth doing ever is. To quote one of my favorite movies, Road Trip: "That's why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy, it would just be the way". Don't take any shortcuts. it'll be worth it in the end.

Spoiled

So my job comes with some perks like sporting event tickets, concerts, restaurant gift certificates, etc.. But this perk I got on my own.

I won a weekend stay at a Hilton Hotel in Philadelphia from a raffle. Coincidentally enough, I happen to know the manager of the hotel. My family and I were heading down to NY for our annual cousins weekend and then we were going to continue on to Philadelphia for a family vacation. We'd do some historical tours in Philly, take in a Phillies game, go to the zoo, etc. But we needed to change the raffle award to weeknights instead of a weekend to accommodate the dates we would be there.

I was not only able to get a great deal on 3 nights at the hotel, but got upgraded to a suite. So when we finally got to the hotel, we walk in and to the right was a small kitchen, to the left an enormous bathroom and a King size bed. There were couches, chairs and a work area as well. Then, we took the boys to the adjoining room which was to be theirs. They found a TV, a bathroom and a queen size bed all for them! Needless to say they were super psyched. That was also the weekend that Douglas started pooping in the potty.. I doubt there's any correlation, but you never know.

The reason for the back story is because that was the first time they had ever been to a hotel. Just like the first time they ever gone to a Red Sox game, they were in a luxury box. (They're first Bruins game was in a box too). They literally ate their way through 4 innings of the game and we practically had to roll them out to the car. I hope they don't think that every sporting event is like that..

So we were in NY recently for my twin cousins' Bat Mitzvah and we were staying in a hotel. We opened up the door to the room which was just a standard room with 2 queen beds, etc, nothing fancy. Immediately, we hear:

Daniel: "Where are you guys sleeping"?

Douglas: "Where's the kitchen"?

Ugh.. Looks like I have some un-spoiling to do..

Times, They Are A Changin?

There's definitely something weird going on.. Not sure what it is though. Daniel has always been big into Superman and Douglas into Batman. It's like blasphemy if you even look at it as the other one will freak out saying "no that's mine"! Same way with some stuffed animals. Douglas has this puppy which he affectionately calls, well, puppy. And Daniel this very soft and cuddly blue bear, appropriately named, well, blue bear. Daniel also has this white pound puppy he just calls white. I don't know where they come up with these names.

Now it gets weird. Earlier this past week, Daniel actually gave, not traded mind you, gave his blue bear to Douglas for him to have in his bed while he sleeps. This is the blue bear that goes with him to his grandparent's house every weekend. He cannot sleep without it. Instead he wants to take this alligator.

This alone, while a little weird, would not have been such a big deal.

However, this past Saturday he allowed Douglas to wear his long sleeve Superman shirt. Ok, he's being nice and sharing his shirt. But then, in a stunning turn of events, said that he could keep it in his drawer! I had to ask him 3 times to make sure I was hearing it correctly. This essentially means that he will no longer wear it. Because they wear the same size shirts, their drawers are kind of interchangeable, however they do have "their" shirts that only they wear. The Superman shirt was definitely one of those and is now being discarded like an expired coupon. Douglas then gave his Batman shirt to Daniel which is now his to wear along with puppy to sleep with.

It gets even weirder. I went in to tuck them in before I went to bed and didn't even realize until the next morning that they had switched beds!!

Are they growing up realizing they want different things?  Are they just going through a phase? What are they going to do next say that they don't want to wear Angry Birds, Ninja Turtles or Phineas and Ferb underwear anymore?  Oh, that is going to be a sad day..

Where Were You

There are those moments for all of us. Some are personal and some are local, national and even global.

For people who remember, they know where they were when JFK was shot. (Way before my time). They know where they were when the Challenger exploded. (I was in my classroom having recess because my teacher for whatever reason wouldn't let us watch. Another student barged in and told us what happened). They know where they were when 9/11 happened. (I was at work and when told that a plane had hit the WTC, I asked NY or Boston because I knew my mother in law worked at the one in Boston).

But if we think about the ages that we were when certain life events occur, we don't remember much when we're young. I was 10 for the Challenger so I remember that. But I don't remember the Iranian hostage crisis as I was only 3. I don't remember Reagan or Lennon getting shot as I was only 4.

I've struggled going back and forth on whether or not to expose my kids to some of the horrors that are happening in today's very screwed up world. They do not know, to the best of my knowledge about the shooting at Sandy Hook. All I did was come home that night and hug them as tightly as I could. And we snuggled for a long time before they went to sleep. We have never talked about it.

As for yesterday, I don't believe they know either. The TV was definitely on while they were eating dinner, but they did not pay attention. They did not ask what happened, nor did I offer it up. Even though my son had someone running in the marathon for him as part of the Miles for Miracles program with Boston Children's Hospital, he still did not ask. We had been there at the finish line just 48 hour earlier.

Do I show them the video? Do I then teach them about what true evil looks like? Do I save their innocence, even if it's just for 1 day until the next evil comes along in some other form?

I brought them into work with me today. Really for no other reason than just to be with them. It seemed like a good day to do it. We had lunch together in the kitchen. They drew me pictures. It was nice.

My guess is in the future they would not remember what happened yesterday as they are only 5. And even if they did remember, they may not be able to process it completely now so their memory of it would be faint at best.

I think I'll leave it alone and hopefully they'll never know what evil really is.

Explosion!

Not sure how many people that are reading this watch How I Met Your Mother, but recently there was an episode where Marshall and Lilly's son Marvin had a huge poop explosion. Anyone who is a parent has probably had this happen. My story is a little different.

The boys were still in the NICU at Brigham and Women's and we were spending one of the many Sunday's we spent at the hospital in the fall of 2007. They had finally been moved to NICU A, which was a step up from NICU B. It meant they weren't as critical which is always a good thing. There was also a little more room as there weren't as many isolettes.

They were still very young, about 8 weeks old or so I would guess (my memory of that time is a little fuzzy). Amy was over hanging out with Daniel and I was with Douglas. And of course, as luck would have it, it was time to change him. So of course I get everything prepared and open up the isolette. Now that they were in NICU A we didn't have to reach through these holes anymore. We could actually just open up the side of the isolette and put our whole arms in which was nice.

So I had everything prepared for the changing. I had the new diaper under the old one, wipes next to me all set to go. Now at this point, they weren't even in regular diapers. They were in these things called wee-pees. I'm not joking, they were so small because they boys were only about 4 pounds or so each, their bodies would have just been swallowed by a regular diaper. So I take off the tabs on the sides of the dirty diaper and lift up his legs to remove and.......

SSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!

That is my best attempt at onomatopoeia.. He unloaded this vile, green and brown fecal matter everywhere and it just wouldn't stop!! I mean all over my arm, the floor, the entire isolette, the wires, the monitor that was monitoring his heart rate, BP, O2 levels, etc.. Literally everywhere it could possibly be, it was.. So I'm standing there with poop all over the place trying not to yell for someone to help because you need to keep your voices down while in the NICU.. So I'm yelling at the highest level I can, which is about a normal talking level..  nurse...  Nurse..  NURSE!!  Finally I just couldn't deal anymore and a nurse came over and immediately doubled over in laughter..  Yeah, real funny.. although, I'm sure it had happened to her before which is probably why she was laughing.. She knew what it felt like..

So a janitor was called to clean up the floor and take the isolette away and have it hosed down..  Douglas had a quick bath while a new isolette was retrieved and set up.  I cleaned up, but we left shortly thereafter.

Let's just say, we made sure there was always a nurse around every time we changed him from then on.

Looking on the bright side, changing diapers for many years for two boys, I was never ever once peed on. So I have that going for me.

DNC

No, nothing to do with politics..  This stands for DO NOT CATHETERIZE!

After spending roughly 48 hours with my son who had a catheter in, I'm all set thanks. Based on what I just had to do over the past 2 days, if it's necessary just forget it.

He did not move from my bed for almost 2 days.  I had to pick him up every hour to empty the catheter so that it did not flow backwards. Additionally, he was upstairs in my bedroom while I was downstairs trying to do work. This obviously presented a problem.

I had what I thought was a genius idea of giving him a bell (small Liberty Bell we had) that he could ring if he needed me. His voice was still very hoarse from the breathing tube so this would work perfectly. I recall from my childhood there was a cartoon with the same premise. Someone who was sick was given a bell to use to signal when they needed something. Then the bell would ring and the person would come upstairs only to find their kitten had gotten hold of the bell and was playing with it like a ball of yarn. We don't have a kitten, but it was something like that. I found him one time just playing with it and not needing anything. Thankfully his voice got better as the day went on so the bell wasn't as necessary.

But still every hour, if I wasn't going up to change the show, movie or bring him food/drink, it was upstairs to empty the catheter tube. Then, overnight he slept with me in my bed where every 2-3 hours I had to do the same thing. Plus, I had to make sure that in his sleep he was not rolling over on either side so the catheter would stay in place. Needless to say, I have not slept much since Monday.

Then finally Wednesday came and the doctors appointment to have it removed.  He has had a bladder tube before (a tube inserted directly into the bladder that diverts the flow from the urethra and out a tube so it allows the urethra to heal) and my role was to hold his torso down (mostly his arms) and make sure he is as calm as possible and not flailing his arms around.  I had to do that twice and it was not fun. But it was fairly quick so it wasn't too bad. (FYI, the bladder tube also naturally causes bladder spasms. At one point I had to stand in the middle of the living room and hold him in the same position for two hours because it was the only position he could be in where it didn't hurt). Yep, the things we do.

This however was different.  After keeping his arms down for a few minutes and after he screamed his face off right in mine, I told him not to worry they were almost done, only to hear the nurse say that they hadn't even started yet.  UGH! It got to the point where he was spitting up (kind of like the spittle that sometimes leaks out of your mouth when you sleep with your mouth open), except in a much bigger puddle accompanied by screams of pain. Yeah, good times. By the end, he and I were both literally sweating. His head was drenched and I needed to take off my sweatshirt and was having trouble breathing.  Remember, this is a kid on HGH. You know, the thing athletes take to make them stronger? Let me tell you, it really does work.

But once he calmed down and was home, he was fine. So he's resting comfortably on the couch now watching Power Rangers and we're doing our best to keep him limited in his activity. No running, jumping, straddling or any quick or sudden movements for 10 days. Yeah, have you met the Kraken?

Used Car Amenities

So a long time ago, somewhere around 1998 I graduated college..  I had gotten a job and needed a car.  However, not just any car.  I didn't want another used car with those used car amenities.  I wanted a new car.  You know, one that started when you turned the key and and when you turned on the AC cold air blew in instead of hot air..  I was stupid as all college graduates really are and I got a car with "new car amenities"..

However one thing I still could not have, regardless of the car I bought was the ability to listen to a song anytime I wanted.  Or, better yet, be able to see what the song title was and who was singing it.  I mean, that was futuristic stuff in the late 90s!  (This was just starting to come out and was a top option in available models)

Fast forward 14 years and we have satellite radio, ipods and in many cars the text button.  Press this and on some stations it will tell you what song is playing and who the artist is.  This feature is standard for my children.  They will never know what it is like not to know the title and/or artist of the song currently playing.  And, for some reason if you are not blessed with this feature, yup there's an app for that.  I have an app on my phone as a lot of people do where if you launch it and hold it up to the speaker, it will not only tell you what the name of the song is and who is singing it, but the title of the album, it will scroll the lyrics for you and you can also download the song to your itunes with the touch of a button.  And, if you are so inclined to want to tell people what you are listening to, you can post it to Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.  Crazy..  I love it.

But I feel like the boys are missing out.  They'll never know what it's like only to have 5 or 6 channels.  They'll never know what it's like to actually BE the remote control for someone (raise your hand if you ever sat close to the TV for the sole purpose of being close enough so when your parent or older sibling told you to change the channel, you didn't have to move that much).  Keep em up.. That's right..

They'll never know what it's like to think "Argh, I forgot to set the VCR"!  Or worse, you remembered to set the VCR, but forgot to rewind the tape!  now not only do many people have DVR's, but you can set it from a computer and even your phone!  They'll never know what it's like to sit in front of your boombox for half an hour because the DJ said that coming up was your favorite song.  And while you're waiting you set up the cassette in the boombox all ready to hit play and record together so you can record your favorite song.  And then when you want to play it, you can just hit rewind and then stop.  Then play.  Realize you still have about half the song to go and then rewind some more, stop.  Play. Almost there.  Rewind and stop.  Play.  Rewind stop!  Rewind stop!  Yeah you remember doing that..

Now my 4 year olds just go to the ipod, hit itunes and play (they even have their own playlist of songs and artists they like).  For example, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys and Green Day are in heavy rotation. Or, take the ipad, turn on Pandora, choose a station and hit play.  When they want to watch something?  On mand (On Demand to the rest of us).  For other shows and movies not on mand?  Sure, why not.  There's Netflix. Hit a few buttons on the remote and there you go!  Instant Gratification.

I have a feeling that on the way to school on Tuesday, I just might not tell them who is singing the song on the radio.  I gotta have a little fun right?

Independence Day

I don't get it.. The kid that is able to do everything, yet doesn't.. Douglas is that kid.. I know positively 100% that this kid can do everything I am asking him to do in order to be more self-sufficient and he just picks and chooses.. Ridiculously frustrating.

Perhaps I got a glimpse into the mind of the Kraken the other tonight. After staying up late to watch a movie (9p), they went up to brush their teeth and go to sleep. Takes no time at all and I'm downstairs. About 25 minutes later Douglas is asking for some water.  So I actually go upstairs reluctantly and help him instead of asking him to do it himself (which I know he can do). I didn't want to wake Daniel up. So I give him the cup and he stands on the step stool.

I said, can you turn this on?  And at first he said no (but not just a regular no it was that drawn out 7 syllable no that seems like it lasts an eternity)..  But, I figured he is so tired I I would try asking him again and, be-grudgingly he said, yeah.. But it wasn't just a regular yeah.. It was the "I'm so disappointed in myself because now he's on to me" kind of yeah... He then proceeds to turn on the faucet and fill his cup all by himself.

Well did I just get a glimpse into the mind of the Kraken and is he starting to break?  Or is he just messing with my head a la Stewie Griffin?  I sure hope it's the former because I can't deal with all those song and dance numbers..

Swimming With the Goldfishes

I guess it's my own fault..  I know I shouldn't let the boys eat food in my bed, but sometimes, it's just unavoidable..

They don't nap anymore at home.  Once they started climbing out of their cribs, that was it.  Daniel had fallen out around 18 months or so and Douglas wasn't even walking yet much less climbing out of his crib.  So we got a crib tent for Daniel and that seemed to solve the problem for the time being.  About 6 months later, we are downstairs watching TV and hear talking from their room, which is normal.  What is not normal is how close it sounded.  So we went upstairs to check and when we opened the door, Douglas goes, "Hi momma" and runs zooming past..  That night we decided it was probably time for toddler beds.

Ever since that day we broke down the cribs and put in toddler beds they have not napped once in their beds.  Our bed however is a different story.  We call it "down-time".  It's usually around 1-130p and they are whiny, cranky and just overall exhausted.  So we put them in our room and put on a movie.  Many times they will fall asleep and take good naps which is the goal.  Other times, they will watch the entire movie, but at least they are calm and resting which is sometimes just as good.  However, it's when they wake up and want a snack that is gets dicey.  We'll often times give them small snacks like goldfish in a bowl in our bed so they can continue to relax and finish the movie.

But while I don't mind them having quiet time, napping or even snacking in my bed, I really don't need to get into my bed and hear the crunching of goldfish crumbs underneath me..  But like I said, I guess it's my own fault.

Crystal Ball

The lights are down..  The din of the crowd is not unlike that of a Yankees/Red Sox playoff game.. you know that din...

The anticipation of the crowd is growing with every passing second..  The best band in the world is about to come on stage and perform.

Then finally a riser from the back of the stage ascends from the bowels of the arena and the bass of the drums is heart-pounding..  The crowd starts to go crazy and the greatest rock show on earth has commenced..

I was recently told by one of my sons that he wants to be a drummer..  Allow me this moment..

Behind the Bag

October 25th, 1986.  I had turned 10 that summer and it was a fantastic summer..  I had gone to overnight camp for the first time in a little slice of heaven up in Brookline, NH.  My sister had gone the year before for a month, but she said wasn't for her.  My parents said try it one more time and this time your brother will go too.  After the first month, visiting day came for the kids who stayed all summer and it was changeover day for the kids who only went one month.  When my parents came up to get us, they asked my sister how it was and she said she didn't want to go back.  I then promptly said "can I have her month?"  I loved it so much I wanted to go the entire summer..  I remember vividly waiting not so patiently every morning that July for a counselor or camper to have a Boston Globe (back when people read the Globe) so I could see how the Red Sox did the night before.  My camp saying in the yearbook was actually "So how did the Red Sox do last night?"  I guess I was a little obsessed.

But in 1986, what 10 year old wasn't?  Hell, what 40 year old wasn't?  Boston sports in 1986 was something to witness.  The Celtics had just finished wrapping up their 16th World Championship by dispatching the Houston Rockets in 6 games (FYI, 85-86 Celtics best TEAM ever.  Ever.)  The Patriots had made their impossible run to their first Super Bowl the season prior (let's just say they scored the first 3 points of the game and the last 7.  Who really remembers giving up 46 in between?)  I also had my first beer during that game.  Coors Gold.  Mmm, Coors Gold...  Lastly, the Bruins had unfortunately lost to the hated Habs in 7 games in the Adams Division Semis (back when there were real divisions, none of this Eastern Conference/Western Conference crap.  Wales and Campbell dammit!)

But the Red Sox were different.  Boston was still a baseball town first and the hometown 9 hadn't won a World Series since..  well, you know when, I don't need to say it..  They had come close many times before my time (1946, 1967, 1975).  But this team was great.  Clemens, Hurst, Boggs, Rice, Evans.. 
I mean these guys were so good.  I thought it was over though when they were down 3-1 to the California Angels before they became the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and then became the Anaheim Angels I believe before finally settling on.. oh I don't even know.. I remember hoping Dave Henderson would somehow just get on base in Game 5 to keep the season alive.  He had gone 2 for 4  to that point and my sister and I were chanting "2 for 4 let's make it 3 for 5"..  You're really creative when your 10 and 14, huh?  And then somehow Hendu launched one over the wall and the Sox would go on to win the series and face the Mets in the World Series. (RIP Donnie Moore)

Fast forward to Game 6.  Heading into the 10th the Sox scored 2 runs to make it 5-3.  1 out.  2 outs.  Hell 1 STRIKE AWAY! (wait, I don't have to give that perm-head any royalties for using that do I? Boston folks, you know who I mean) And then, it was like a dam overflowed and the levees broke and it just all fell apart.  For the record, I do not blame Buckner.  Never have.  Well, maybe at that specific moment I did, but once I was old enough to analyze everything, I didn't.  He should have never been in there to begin with.  All playoffs McNamara had put in Dave Stapleton as a defensive replacement.  It's what you do in the playoffs.  Why not now when it means the most?  I didn't get it then and I still don't get it now.  But I digress..

We all know what happened..  Until 2004 when the Red Sox finally won it all (thank you Joe Buck for ruining it) Game 6 was all anybody could talk about regarding the Red Sox, that and that stupid "curse" (more royalties)..  And 2007 thankfully put it all to bed.  But some people still don't forgive Buckner.  I don't get that either.  Would I be this calm if the Sox hadn't won it in 04 and/or 07?  Perhaps not.  But I still wouldn't blame Buckner.  He has made peace with it a lot sooner than some locals have.  He finally got up the nerve to come to Boston and throw out the first pitch at Fenway and received a raucous standing ovation that lasted easily over 5 minutes.  I didn't think he was going to make it to actually throwing the pitch.  He was clearly moved by the ovation and I think it finally hit him that people were over it.

For a while it didn't bother me to watch it.  In fact, there were times after 04 that I would go back and watch it just to prove it didn't bother me anymore.  But after this most recent monumental collapse, the turmoil that is the front office and who knows what to make of the on-field product, it gives me that feeling again. 

October 25th, 2011.  It was time for a bath.  I had asked the boys numerous times to come upstairs, to no avail (nothing new there).  The bath was ready and the water was starting to get cold.  Finally I come downstairs to turn off Super Hero Squad and what happened to be on was E:60 doing some sort of retrospective of the 25 year anniversary of The Error.  So of course, I had to sit.  Suddenly, I was mesmerized.  It was pre-2004 all over again.  And since the boys love the Red Sox, they were watching.  I said "boys, I hope you never have to go through the agony of what I went through watching this game"..  They had no idea what I was talking about.  And as they show the replay over and over and over and over and over, I was like seriously people!!!  How many times can you show a 5 second clip in 1 minute?  Well the answer evidently is 12..  (for those of you who need a math refresher, get a calculator).

Well, apparently Mitch had had enough as well because he said "daddy, it's time to turn it off now".  Yes Mitch, it certainly is.

It's Just a Game..

When is the right time to really introduce kids to sports on TV?  3?  5?  When will they actually comprehend and remember what they are seeing?  Me, I remember watching the Celtics in 1984 (when I was 8), but really not till 1986, when I was 10 do I remember vividly all 4 local teams..  Maybe it's because the Celtics (NBA Champions), Patriots (Super Bowl runner up), Bruins (made the playoffs, lost to the hated Habs in the 1^st round of the now defunct Adams Division) and the Red Sox (well, let's not go there) were all really good?  I was spoiled.  I thought that's the way it always was and was going to be...  I guess I found out pretty quickly in the 90's that it wasn't the case.

It just so happened that Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final where the Bruins had their first opportunity to win the Cup in almost 40 years fell on the eve of my 35th birthday. Can you think of a better present than watching the Bruins complete the Boston Sports Championship Circle where every major sport in the city would have a championship that I actually watched?  But I digress.. This isn't about me, but it is pretty cool.

Before the game people were asking me if I was going to wake my boys up to watch the end of the game if they were winning.  I thought, wow how cool would that be to possibly watch with my kids the 1st Bruin to hoist the cup since Bobby Orr (which happened 4 years before I was even a sperm)?!  It would be amazing. 

And then, I had a moment of clarity and actually thought about it. So I'm going to put my two 3 and a half year old's to bed around 8p as the game is about to start.  Then, I'm going to wake them up about 2.5 hours later when they are fast asleep, carry them downstairs so they can be miserable, tired, cranky and probably fall back asleep while I get annoyed at them for not paying attention and most likely miss the end of the game? Yeah that’s a big fat no for me thanks.

So I say leave them be. Let them sleep and hopefully have great news for them in the morning.  I mean, the Bruins would get another shot to win the cup soon right?  Right?

This blog was actually written the night of Game 7, but wasn’t posted.  Obviously the tenses have changed from the present to the past and we all know what happened, don’t we?!?!  Stay classy Vancouver…

The reason I post this blog now is because we are taking the boys to their first Red Sox game this Friday.  I told them months ago that if they started pooping in the potty, we would take them to see the Red Sox.  Well they've been doing a great job of that, especially Max.  And to be perfectly honest with you, this is one promise I am perfectly happy to deliver on.

While they are just a hair short of 4 years old, I think that they will remember this.  While they do enjoy sitting and watching the Red Sox sometimes, they have become totally enamored with “Wally the Green Monster who lives at Fenway Park” for a few weeks now.  Ever since my friend Heidi bought them Wally shirts, they have become obsessed.  So we read a book about Fenway Park and they are getting really excited.  I can’t wait to see their reactions when I take them up the ramp so they see the Wall and the field for the first time..  I remember my first game in July of 1983. I went with my family and my cousin and his family.  8 tickets in the left field grandstand that probably cost a total of $50, if that.  The Sox lost 7-6, although I don’t remember who they played.  Probably the Orioles. I’m sure I could look it up.

In any event, since it’s a Friday night and they will have been at school all day, I am sure they will only last until the 4^th or 5^th inning or so..  And even though my rule is always never leave a game early, I guess I could make an exception for this one. Unless the Sox pitcher is throwing a no hitter or a perfect game.  Or the opposing pitcher is throwing a no hitter or perfect game.  Or it’s tied 0-0.  Or it’s really tight.  Oh who am I kidding, they’re staying till the end..

The MTV Generation

August 1^st, 1981, MTV debuts.  It was a major breakthrough in cable television and for television as a whole.  It crafted a generation and brought us new things and terms like music video, vee-jay and televised spring break!  Come on, who doesn't love Ed Lover?!?!

Ironically enough, my family first got cable exactly 3 years to the day that MTV launched, on August 1^st, 1984.  I was 8 and on top of the world!  I wasn’t the type of kid to stay inside and just zone out and watch music videos, or anything for that matter.  I was very active, riding my bike, playing sports, just being outside.  That and my mom would kick my butt outside and say don’t come home until the street lights come on.  But I digress..

When I found out that VH1 Classic was going to re-air the first hour of MTV exactly how it aired back on August 1^st, 1984 at midnight on August 1^st, 2011, exactly 30 years later, I decided to record it and watch it.  In doing so I also decided a running commentary might be funny..  Maybe you would like to read it?  If so, continue to page 42.  If not, go to page 19. (Choose Your Own Adventure books, anyone?)

Exactly at midnight they cut to Cape Canaveral where the Space Shuttle is getting ready to lift off..  15 minutes of NASA scientists and engineers talking about the pending lift-off, what’s going to happen at what time, etc..  Seriously, 15 minutes..  This could have been severely shorted, by about 14 minutes and 50 seconds..  A 10 second countdown just before the Shuttle lifts off would have sufficed and I think would have been pretty cool.

In any event, after the shuttle’s engines start, a voice over came on to say “Ladies and gentleman, rock and roll” as it cuts out to the famous Neil Armstrong landing on the moon that they used forever, as well as the vertigo-inducing MTV logo switching colors at light speeds for about another minute while a voice over tells you all about what you are about to see.  They made a big point throughout the entire program to tell you that it’s being broadcast in “stereo” and not high fidelity.  To be honest, the sound quality was still pretty shitty.

By now, EVERYONE knows the first video ever on MTV..  If you don’t, look it up..  However when the 1^st video ended following by about 10 seconds of absolute silence and blank screen, each VJ (Alan Hunter, Martha Quinn, JJ Jackson, Nina Blackwood and Mark Goodman) all come individually and tell the viewer(s) what they can expect to see from each of them, which was pretty much the same thing.  Then, straight into the second video ever, Pat Benatar’s “You Better Run”. Nothing special, her band and her singing, dancing and playing in what looked to be a garage..  

Then, the commercials kick in..  Being in advertising, I wonder what the cost was for a commercial on MTV the night it debuted?  I mean it couldn’t have been very much..   Seriously, I wonder how I can find this out.. The first commercial was from a company called Majestic.  They seemed to be pushing some sort of trapper keeper product.  Nowadays kids just walk around with their ipods and cell phones.  A trailer for the new Superman movie, Superman 2 was the next commercial.  Man, those graphics were horrible, but probably cutting edge for 1981.

Rod Stewart busted out “She Won’t Dance With Me” as the 3^rd video.  He was wearing a lime green jumpsuit with his chest exposed.  Really?  This was fashion in 1981?  Now by no means am I a fashion guru as I have the same multi-colored hooded flannel since I was a senior in high school.  But come on, this thing was putrid.  But it was Rod Stewart and when you’re with Rachel Hunter in the 80’s I guess you can wear whatever you want.

And then BAM!  The screen goes blank again.  I mean, nothing.  It was like you get that Emergency Broadcast Warning that this is just a test screen, but without the warning or sound.  Yeah, someone in the control room better get on that STAT!

The Who’s “You Better You Bet” was the next video..  Wow, that certainly is not Keith Moon.  I think the Who should have taken a cue from the best band ever (The Mighty Led Zeppelin as if you didn’t already know) and gracefully called it quits when their engine died.  Like Bonham, Moon was what made the Who go and when he died, they should have stopped.  Also if they had stopped we would not have had to see Roger Daltrey in this video wearing a scarf.  Was it cold where they were filming?  Everyone else seemed to be normally dressed (for the early 80s).

Periodically, in between videos Mark Goodman would come on letting the viewers know about a Dial Position Sticker that they could order.  Now, I believe he was talking about a sticker that you physically put on your fm tuner that would let you know what dial position MTV was at.. Not sure this actually took off..  Probably a little bit more like Teddy Ruxpin than Cabbage Patch Dolls..

After another annoying few seconds of dead air and gray screen, a Mountain Dew commercial comes on.  Terrible song, but to be honest the can hasn’t changed much.. and I have a special place in my heart for the Dew as it got me through some very long days as I spent time in the NICU in Boston with my boys when they were born and then had to drive from Ayer to work a full day in Worcester and then back to Boston to visit and then home to Ayer 5 days a week.  Do the Dew!

PH. D. “Little Suzie’s on the Up” was next.  The Video started and it was 7 seconds before any audio came on..  I think there are some kinks that still need to be worked out..  I can honestly say it didn’t matter because I have never heard this song or have heard of this artist in my entire life.. and I consider myself pretty good at 80s music.. It did have a rather attractive blond in it though wearing the #69 on her back from a dance competition.  I wonder if that was intentional..

Cliff Richard’s “We Don’t Talk Anymore” was next.. Very 70’s..  Think John Travolta’s video for “Let Her In” complete with a smoke machine and everything..  You Tube it if you have to. Pretty funny.

The Pretenders actually make a second appearance in the first hour with “Brass in Pocket.  This song is one of my wife’s least favorite songs.. It’s like nails on a blackboard.. Kind of like if I hear Pink Cadillac by Springsteen or Main Street by Bob Seger. I have learned to be so quick at the radio when it comes on that they can barely get that twangy guitar riff out before I change the station.  It’s the little things we do that count the most right?

Random thought: In the restaurant window where Chrissy Hynde works there is a big poster advertising Lucky Strike cigarettes..  What a difference 30 years makes..

Todd Rundgren’s “Time Heals” is next.  Not exactly what I would think of when I hear Todd Rundgren’s name.  He also used Salvador Dali imagery “melted clocks” when talking about time.  Probably a little sophisticated for the audience watching..  Certainly would be for today’s MTV audience.   Regardless, his Mork from Ork approved space suit I guess was cool in 1981.  But he was dancing around (I think that was dancing) while the screen had what acid-heads call “tracers”  so I’m not really sure what was going on.

Commercial for Chewels.  Absolutely the most DISGUSTING gum I have ever had..  I would rather eat 50 pieces of the Fortune gum that usually got stuck in your teeth and lost its flavor after 2 minutes..  But those fortunes were awesome..  I got this fortune one time that said you will have a great day today..  Unfortunately I still got the crap kicked out of me at recess so I guess they weren’t that awesome..

Styx was up next with “Rockin Paradise”.  Basically they took the “Best of Times” music and some of the lyrics as well and set it to some stage show.  So after the beginning part it becomes a totally different song and they do this elaborate stage production.  Why didn’t they just shoot a video for Best of Times if they were going to use the music and half the lyrics?  After the stage show they just rock out, well as much as Dennis DeYoung and Tommy Shaw can rock out..  Tommy Shaw also of Damn Yankees fame with the 1 hit wonder with THE NUGE on High Enough..  Very underrated song of the early 90’s in my estimation.. but then again, no one really cares what I think..

It all comes together with a commercial for Atari.  Loved it.  It totally brings me back to my Intellivision days.  Oh that was a game system all right.  You had those little flimsy pieces of microfilm that came with each game.  You slid them into the controller and that was how you knew what button did what.  Ah, good times.. 

Robin Lane and the Chartbusters “When Things Go Wrong” from their self-titled album.  Let’s move on.

After the video thankfully ends, there’s a little 90 second vignette about the Ramones.  Not too bad, but lacked any real substance or information at all.  Then, it shifts to Mark Goodman who proceeds to introduce the next video, Styx with Rockin Paradise.  OOPS!!

And that’s how the first hour ended..   The funny thing is that they don’t even play any music videos any more.  That’s reserved for their other properties like MTV2, MTV3, etc.  Much like in “Dodgeball”, with ESPN8, “the Ocho” there might be MTV11, “the Onze” one day and maybe THEY will be playing videos.  But I doubt it.  

As I sit here being all nostalgic about something that happened 30 years ago when I was 5, I realize that 30 years from now my boys will be about my age and MTV will turn 60.  Ugh, I feel old..

The Great Debate

There are many important debates in history: Lincoln/Douglass, Nixon/Kennedy to name a few.  However none was more important than the stinky poop debate.

The penguins from Madagascar have their own show which my boys love.  And one particular episode one of the characters uses the word "stupid" as an adjective referring to his eye patch.  It was a squirrel.  A red squirrel.  Long story...  Anyway, naturally my boys start repeating the line using the word stupid.  I told them we don't say that word and instead say silly.

It seemed to work.  They kept saying silly and when one of them said the word stupid, the other was quick to correct:

Mitch: "Stupid eye patch".

Max: "No, we don't say that word.  We say silly eye patch".

Mitch: "Silly eye patch."

Seems to work.

Until the other day when Mitch said "stinky poop" and Max got all bent and told Mitch that for some reason they weren't allowed to say that.  I told him it was ok to say stinky poop, but he was adamant that it was not allowed.  Who was I to disagree.

I wonder where we'd be as a country if more of our debates were about stinky poop?