Everyone Remembers Their First

Everyone remembers their first..  That sentence is usually tied to one's first sexual experience. But it doesn't matter what first you're talking about.  Whether that be your first pet, your first kiss or first concert, these are things that humans tend to lock away deep in their memories and can recall at a moment's notice.

Well maybe you have heard there is this little band called the Foo Fighters who this past weekend played this little ballpark called Fenway. I've seen a number of shows there and I'll be honest, the acoustics aren't great. And, as long as we're being honest, it's not that great for watching a ballgame either. It's an amazing park, but the seats suck, they don't even face the field half the time and more often than not the product on the field isn't even worth watching. But I digress..

For a long time it has been a goal of mine, a bucket list item if you will, to sit front row at a concert. And unless you count being belly up to the stage for Letters to Cleo and Bare Naked Ladies at Smith College in the mid 90s front row (which I don't), it was still on the list. Until Saturday.

I was lucky enough to go to this show with my wife and 2 friends and sat front row, right in front of a wall of bass amplifiers. I truly thought my heart was going to explode during the Mighty Mighty Bosstones set. Thankfully, the Foo Fighters are not a bass heavy band and Taylor Hawkins, the drummer was set on the opposite side of the stage. Again, having never officially sat that close for a show before I had no idea what I was in for. I was able to see small interactions between the band as well as between the band and friends that were offstage which was interesting.

I had always wondered what it was like to sit front row, and now I know.. it's LOUD! Thankfully we were wearing ear plugs because we're not that young anymore and actually value our hearing.. But it was such a different perspective, turning around and looking at tens of thousands of people behind me was weird. And although I enjoyed it, I don't need to do it again. I can cross it off the bucket list and move on to something else.

And that something else was enjoying a Foo Fighters concert with my boys. They are still young (8 in September), however they have been listening to the Foo Fighters since they've been alive. We always told ourselves that we would not succumb to the Barney and Disney Radio crap.. If we were driving, they were going to listen to what we listened to. Hence, their music library consists of all sorts of music. (See earlier blog entitled Müzik, Μουσική, Musiikki)  For example, their favorite song right now is Fire by Jimi Hendrix. A friend's son is learning drums and he made a birthday mix of good drum songs and handed it out at the party. My boys listen to it every time they're in the car. Sadly, they have been asking if they can see Jimi in concert. I told them that unfortunately he is dead and has been for a long time. But, I know there are many people right there with them who would like to see him in concert.

Thankfully I am in a position where I was able to take them to this show and share their first concert experience with them. Everyone plays the game. You know, "what was your first concert"? Mine was Steve Miller Band at Great Woods (known by no other name) in the summer of 1992. We were CIT's at summer camp in NH and as a special night out trip we all got tickets to the show. We sat on what was known back then as "The Lawn". Great Woods is an amphitheater in Mansfield, MA that holds about 19K people. 10K in the lower seating area and then another 9K up on the lawn. This was pre cell phone days where you met someone at a place at a time and you went there. There was no "text me when you get there" or "change of plans we're going here instead". You had to wade through thousands of people just to get the side of the lawn to go to the bathroom, get something to eat, etc. There are very large cement poles that tell you what section you're in if you are in the lower bowl area. Well people on the lawn used to use those as markers so you knew about where you were. And then you used that pole and and an approximation of how far up the lawn you were so you could meet back up with your group. An inexact science at best, yet we always seemed to manage to meet back up with our friends. But after numerous iterations of "the lawn" going from grass, to mulch, to sand, etc they have now turned it into actual rows of seats which makes it more difficult for larger groups to sit together, dance, etc. Oh well, another part of my youth gone.. 

But everyone has a first concert and everyone has that conversation with people regardless of who they are. And it doesn't matter what it was. Oftentimes kids were taken to a show by their parents because either a) they thought it would be a nice night out or b) the parents had tickets and couldn't get a babysitter. But this show was something I knew the boys would want to see and I wanted to share it with them. Again, they've grown up listening to this band and know about 10-11 songs. That is probably more than some of the people that were there to be honest. They were able to sing along to some of the them and had no problem dancing around and just being mesmerized at the live performance that was happening right in front of them. 

As I've said before, life is full of experiences and this opportunity was one I was not about to pass up.

Cross another one off my bucket list too. It's something that they will never ever forget, nor will I. 

Blocks

Recently we went over to a friend's house for dinner and they have a year and a half old boy. While my boys were playing in 1 room, the other 3 adults were cooking and I was on toddler duty.

Man, that kid was all over the place.. Climbing on chairs, playing with this, going into the other room, wanting to play with that.. It was like he had new batteries in him and was fully charged, ready to go!

Then finally we settled on stacking blocks. We sat there for about 30 minutes just stacking blocks, but he was having so much fun. (And to be honest, so was I). It had been a long time since I just sat there and stacked blocks. He was doing really well too.  I started remembering all the times we sat there and played with blocks, etc with the boys and how much fun it was..  Did I miss this time? Did I miss it enough to want to have another child?

To quote one of my favorite movies, A Bronx Tale: "Thanks, but we're good where we are".

The Kick is Up and It's Good!

Everybody remembers this game..



You made the football out of a piece of paper and used your hands as the goalposts.. You slid the paper across the desk and if it landed across the edge and teetered, but didn't fall, it was a touchdown. Then you flicked the paper football (however you felt comfortable holding it) through the "uprights" for the extra point. Indoor recess would never be the same once we found out about this game. That was 30 years ago. And now, the Twins of Anarchy have discovered paper football..

There's just one twist.. You can now purchase a paper football "kit". It comes with a triangular football, however it is not paper, it is rubber. And it comes with a goalpost that is plastic and sits on a spring that is loaded into a base so it is flexible, for whatever reason.

Before you ask, no I did not purchase this for my boys. However, one of their favorite places to go eat is the Charlie Horse. They love the arcade games there and the food is decent. So they know the rule is that if they eat their dinner, they can go and play games for a bit. Their favorite is this cool Batman game. And they have the gas pedal rigged so you don't need to press on it.. That is a huge help for parents who have kids who can't reach the pedals.. But I digress..

With certain games, you can earn tickets. We convinced them to keep saving their tickets and maybe pool them together at some point when there is something they really want and we can redeem the tickets for it. Unfortunately, they both saw the "paper football kit" and wanted to redeem their tickets so they could each get one. This way they would each have a goalpost and a football.

Well, when we got back home and started to play, the rubber football didn't exactly careen across the table like a paper football does. In fact, it doesn't move at all. So all they end up doing is flicking the rubber triangle through the plastic uprights..  BLASPHEMY I SAID!

I took out a piece of paper, made a paper football and removed the plastic goalposts. I showed them how to really play and then we started flicking extra points..  The first one I flicked right into Mitch's face..

Welcome to Paper Football Mitch.

Experiential Parenting

Parenting is hard work.  There is no way around that. It just is and always will be. And when we take our kids to the playground or on a play date or to an indoor play space, etc we are still tired. So we use this time to relax, catch up on email, social media, etc.. If we're with friends on a play date then our kids play and we relax. Pretty standard stuff.  

However I'm doing my best, when I can to try something new.. It's called Experiential parenting - do what your kids are doing. Now obviously we can't do everything our kids are doing for various reasons. However, when I can, I like to participate. So many times we want to capture what our children are doing on video or pictures that we forget to experience.. Of course there are times we want on video like birthday parties or once in a lifetime opportunities.. But I feel like I want to experience more WITH my children if I can, when I can (and if they'll allow me). So I decided to say what the hell and have some fun.

Over the weekend I took the Twinado to Launch in Norwood. This is a place totally outfitted with trampolines everywhere. I've heard great things about it and to be honest, it looked like a lot of fun. There are so many play spaces around now with inflatable bounce houses, etc that just weren't around when I was a kid. I feel like I totally missed out on something that I would have really enjoyed. So yeah, I got a ticket for myself. And I am glad I did.

It was awesome..  We jumped, played trampoline basketball (and yes I dunked), trampolined into a foam pit, which is much harder to get out of than these kids make it out to be.. In 3 minutes I was only able to jump in twice. It's common sense that when you jump in feet first your feet are under all the foam blocks. But when you try to pick them up so you can get out the foam blocks stick to your socks and the socks fall off. So you have to then grab the sock and continue to try to get out. It was pretty discouraging really. And then we played a few games of trampoline dodge ball which is about as much fun as it sounds.. 

However I know my limitations (I'm not a huge fan of roller coasters, big drops, etc), but these kids have no fear.. Flips and all.. The boys were even jumping on to the wall, which of course was also a trampoline and it looked like they were stopping or pausing while their feet were on the wall and then they'd just jump off back onto the trampoline like they had done it a million times.. I'm pretty sure one of my kids is going to take up Parkour pretty soon.. If you don't know what that is, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihBoqdOsQOo 

And they are also obsessed with American Ninja Warrior, which is a really cool show if you've never seen it.

It was fun to watch them but also fun to be in the middle of it with them.. And when we were waiting in line they asked if I was going to jump with them. I said yes and they were overjoyed.. I love making them happy.. And it makes me happy to know they enjoy spending time with me too..

So if you are able, the next time your kids are experiencing something new or are at a place where parents can participate, do me a favor: Put down the phone and experience WITH your kids.. It's a whole new perspective.. And even though we know parenting is and always will be hard work, it doesn't mean we can't have fun too.

Spontaneity

The real triumph of this blog post is that I actually spelled the word spontaneity without looking it up first.. I am more than mildly impressed with myself..  And yes, that is about what my life has come to right now and yes, it is sad.. But I digress.. 

This past July 4th (well July 3rd if you want to get technical) we packed up the bag and took the boys to the nearby lake for the fireworks. Right at the beach area they had a band playing, carnival games, food trucks, etc.. A very festive atmosphere. However we learned the hard way last year that being that close to the water meant the louder the fireworks. So we decided to stake out a piece of grass on fields across the street near the high school. This area was much less crowded, the boys could run around and get out all of their energy and it was far enough away from the fire works where it shouldn't be a problem. I remembered the chairs and the blanket and the food/drinks, but forgot the football. And the cards. And the stomp rockets. All the planning I had done thinking it was going to be a few hours that we were there until the fireworks started was all for naught. Crap, now what?

Spontaneity, that's what. Instead of playing cards or throwing around the football, we had the boys do wind sprints and burpees. Then, they went over to the blocking sled used by the town football team (I think) and tried to move it. That was classic. Clearly these two activities did not take up too much time so we went over to the beach area for some games and fun. But there was a lot of time left to kill.

Soon enough, more families started settling in. And before I knew it, the boys were off playing with kids they didn't know on a dirty, dusty baseball diamond. Within 5 minutes they had made up their own game and played it non stop for about an hour and a half. Not only did this entertain the boys for the majority of the time we had before the fireworks, but they had fun, got a lot of energy out as 6 year old boys often have and they met some new friends.

So, what I learned is that all the planning in the world sometimes can't make up for spontaneity. Sometimes you need to just let them explore, meet new kids and make friends, create their own games and have fun. It worked out better than I could have imagined.

Oh, and in case you were wondering the fireworks hadn't been going for more than 3 minutes before they were crying they were too loud so we left.  Hey, at least we beat the traffic home.

Reading Is Fun

I've been telling my kids since I felt they could comprehend it, "If you can read, you can do anything". It's true. Think about it. Back during slavery, they wouldn't allow the slaves to have access to books or learn to read for fear they would become educated. It was a way of keeping control. So I explain to them, "if you can read, you can do anything".

Well they are six now and while we've been working hard with them, reading to them forever as well as working with them on spelling, sounding out words, etc, you can't push it. If you push it, they can become frustrated and shut down. Then they'll see it as more of a chore and not learn to enjoy reading. As a parent or as anyone who is teaching someone something, you really have to walk that fine line of knowing when to push someone and when to back off.

Well, it turns out that Mitch can read. We'd be walking in a store and he would just point to a sign and read it. Or we'd be at the kitchen table and he would point to a magazine and read a few words. Turns out, that while at parent teacher conferences a little ways back, his teacher gave us a list of words each Kindergartner should know by the end of the school year. He knows them all. I'm not saying he's reading novels or anything, but this is a child who hasn't exactly done things on what we would call the "normal" timetable. He never crawled. He didn't walk until he was 19 months old. He was about 6 before being fully potty-trained. Granted the kid has had it a little rough, so we were thinking more often than not he would do whatever it was at his own pace.  Well, I'm glad if something was relatively accelerated, it was this.

And he's excited about it too. A new book from school every week and he's excited to read it at night. We get them both new books all the time and they make it part of their routine before going to sleep to make sure we read at least 1 book. And, now that Mitch is doing well reading and how much praise he's getting, Max is starting to step up his game.

So hopefully, perhaps by the end of the calendar year they'll be reading books to us instead of the other way around. And once that happens, it's a whole new world.

Update: I wrote this awhile ago and never posted it. Since then, Max is definitely better at reading, but just shy about reading out loud. Mitch however will read out loud to himself or to anyone. He'll read anything including magazines, shopping circulars, it doesn't matter. He actually calms down at night but taking out his flashlight and reading a book to himself, out loud before going to bed. I couldn't be more proud.

I Got This..

It's a simple phrase really..  I got this.. It could mean many things..  It could mean someone taking care of a meal.. It could mean someone grabbing a round of beers.. Or it could mean that you'll handle something and don't worry about it..  All relatively common uses for the phrase, but when it comes out of your six year old, time to step on the brakes and pull a George Costanza:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d0uUFw5ggM

So recently we had another common occurrence, a separated birthday party..  Meaning, one twin was invited because it was a classmate of his and the other was not invited because more than likely the birthday girl doesn't even know he has a brother, much less a twin. And we're totally fine with this. In fact, we even like it. The reason is because it gives us a rare opportunity to have some one on one time.

It's at the movies and is a drop off birthday party (a whole new world for us). Mitch is the only boy out of about 10 girls. As my wife relayed the story to me, his parting words were "Don't worry mom; I got this".

Oh crap..

My 6 year old is telling my wife "I got this"? I'm not ready for this..  Granted this is the child that is much more independent. Although he still doesn't like to go upstairs when no one is up there, he's much more apt to play alone than need someone to play with him. And he's getting better..

But if at 6 he feels no fear heading into a birthday party full of 10 girls, what else will he feel no fear about?

First day of Junior High, the beginning of potentially the most awkward 2 years of any boys' life?  Don't worry, I got this.

First day of High School?  Don't worry, I got this.

That big game?  Don't worry coach, I got this.

First day of college?  Don't worry, I got this.

First big presentation at work? Don't worry boss, I got this.

We overtly want our children to be independent so they do not have to rely on us for everything.. However, we covertly wish they would stay young and innocent forever. Maybe that way we wouldn't have to hear the words "Don't worry, I got this". As Dr. Seuss so aptly put it, "Kid, you'll move mountains!"

I keep forgetting..

You started to sing that Michael McDonald song, didn't you?  Go on, admit it.. Sorry about that..

Anyway, remember in Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery where Austin sleeps with the Italian bird Alotta, Alotta Fagina?  And when he tells Vanessa she explains to him he's going to be very lonely. Austin then spends the entire night drinking Tab so he can stay awake and tries to figure out everything he's missed in the last 30 years.. He's missed a lot including the fall of the Berlin Wall, the end of apartheid and the US putting a man on the moon.

Well, that's where this post comes in. One of the boys is keeping a Night Sky Journal and at the end of the month each child will compare their Night Sky Journal to what they see in the sky during the day. Cool idea. I just wish it was the fall or spring so it wasn't so damn cold out when we're standing out there looking at the sky..  But I digress..

We're charting the phases of the moon so he can see how they change as the month progresses.. And we look at some of the constellations and talk about what he sees. Currently the most notable fascination is with Orion the Hunter and his infamous belt. So we go back in and draw, color and write down what we see.

As we're looking up at the sky the other night, I hear "I'm going go to the moon one day". I said ok, you can become an astronaut. Did you know we've actually walked on the moon? They must have gotten whiplash with how quickly their heads spun around and like a minion asked "whaaaaaat?" I said yeah, on July 20th, 1969 (and no I did not have to look that up; Mr. Macini, my Space and Astronomy teacher in 9th grade did a really good job) Neil Armstrong became the first human being ever to walk on the moon. And after him there were 11 other people who walked on the moon. They thought that was the coolest thing ever. (Another cool fun fact is that my uncle was one of the engineers who worked on the guidance system of the Saturn V rocket that took Apollo 11 to the moon. True story)

But as parents we need to remember that our kids don't know everything we know (contrary to what they think). There are the obvious things like walking, feeding themselves, potty training, etc that we clearly need to teach them (see previous blog called Blank Slate)..  But the other cool stuff like we've walked on the moon that we take that knowledge for granted, they have no idea. You just never know what information about which subject is going to pique their interest. And then you never know where that may lead. Information is power.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f_DPrSEOEo

Müzik, Μουσική, Musiikki

It doesn't matter what language you say it in, whether it be Turkish, Greek or Finnish, I truly believe that music has magical properties.. The type of music is also irrelevant, it just needs to be the type of music that appeals to you. Whether it's listening to Enya while you have a migraine (I know someone who does that) or listening to heavy metal while you study (I know people who did that too) there's something about music that resonates with everyone.

Think about your life. When a song comes on the radio many people have an association with an event, a person or something in their life that is traced back to that song. It could have been that first dance at your middle school dance or the popular song that summer you lived in the city or your wedding song or even that time on that college road trip when.. hmm, better leave that one out..

But you get the point. Music has that ability to somehow transcend the aural and manages to connect directly to your emotions. And that is what I am hoping happens with boys. At a very early age we wanted to make sure they listened to music. (You can listen to Jimi, but you can't hear him- White Men Can't Jump, anyone?) Ok, moving on..

They had the mobiles in their cribs when they were babies, until one of them tore it down and that was the end of that one. But we then discovered Rock A Bye Baby, which is rock music of all different bands (Foo Fighters, Nirvana, Green Day, U2, Zeppelin, Beatles, etc) all played like lullaby's. It is very cool, very soothing and they liked it a lot as did we. They still listen to it to this day.

But we also said to ourselves that we will not be beholden to the kids music when we're driving. I'll admit, we had the 40th Anniversary CD's of Sesame Street and we would listen to them in the car. The boys liked it and calmed them down on long road trips. It was also nostalgic for us hearing the songs that we remember from watching Sesame Street as kids. (See, it all comes back to music association) But when they were old enough, we started making them listen to our music. Hey, if we were going to be in the car with them for a while and they could keep themselves busy by looking out the window and playing games, we were going to listen to what we wanted. So they started enjoying some of our music.

I go old school and make them mix CD's. I have an ipod which I could create playlists, but it's not connecting in my car for some reason so it's just easier this way.. Plus, the boys look forward to when daddy creates a new CD..

I've made 4 or 5 of them. While there are still a few of the artists below that they haven't heard yet, here is a list of the artists that have been on these mix CD's:

Green Day, Foo Fighters, Dropkick Murphy's, John Cougar, AFI, Incubus, Dazz Band, Dave Matthews Band, Big & Rich, Of Monsters & Men, The Police, Beastie Boys, Airborne Toxic Event, The Beatles, Elvis, Cheap Trick, Fratellis, The Libertines, Imagine Dragons, Zeppelin, Toby Keith, The Black Crowes, Ben E. King, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, Run DMC, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Tears For Fears, Clapton, The Lumineers, Metallica, Van Halen, Neon Trees, Puscifer, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Twisted Sister, Queen, Black Keys, MGMT, ACDC, Nirvana, KISS, The Ramones, Bruno Mars, Blues Traveler, Lynyrd Skynyrd, REM, Talking Heads, Blur.

Now obviously some of these artists have a particular popular song that is more than likely the song I put on the CD. But others are not what you may think. It was not always the popular song for a well known band we played for them. We want them to appreciate the band/artist for their music and not just have them know the "popular, mainstream" song for which the band may be known. But the goal here, as you can see is to broaden their musical horizons with old, new, blues, rock, alternative, rap, 80s, punk and everything in between. Just giving them a taste of whatever we can find and see what they like and don't like. They are really taking it all in and want more. They're kind of like Neo with the training simulation in The Matrix.

My ultimate goal with this project? That "a-ha" moment. We've all seen those Top 100 "Fill in the Blank" shows on VH1 or some network that counts down the top 100 greatest rock songs or guitar riffs, etc. There's invariably one critic or artist that says "I remember the first time I heard _____. I said to myself, what the hell is that?" I want at least one, if not both of my kids to have that kind of moment when they hear something.. Whether it be a guitar riff, a song or drum solo, it doesn't matter.. It will make it all worthwhile.

PS - It happened. With the Kraken. And Metallica. Is anyone really that surprised?

I Can Do That

It really is amazing to watch little kids attempt to do something and fail miserably, only to see their faces light up with such pride when they come back to you having mastered it.

For example, Daniel had difficulty for awhile on the monkey bars. He just couldn't get past the first one and would hang, get scared and fall. Slowly but surely he would do 2 and then 3 and before we knew it, he was coming home with blisters on his hands because he kept doing the monkey bars over and over again.. He didn't care that got blisters.. He knew he had mastered the monkey bars and that, for him was like acing a test is for a student or a promotion is for an employee.

Recently, he's gotten big into snapping. So I showed him how to do it and of course, he couldn't.. But when I tell you that kid was snapping day and night, I'm not kidding. Everywhere he is snapping or least attempting to. And then one day, he comes to me and shows me how he can snap.. And quite well I might add! And with both hands, which is not easy at that age (at least I don't think).

You have never seen a child so happy and proud for an accomplishment as this kid is from learning how to snap. He shows everybody.

It doesn't matter how little the achievement may be or how mundane the activity.. Remember, everything is new for them. But I am sure these are not the first goals he will set out to achieve and succeed. Far from it.

Blank Slate

For lack of a better term, kids are blank slates. They may have some innate talent or intelligence passed down that is hereditary, but otherwise, pretty much blank slates.

We can make these children into anything we want them to be. We can teach them manners, or we can teach them to be rude. We can teach them to read so they can learn, or we can teach them to watch TV so they can zone out. We can teach them to try new foods and expand their taste buds, or we can just feed them processed food which is bad for them, but we know they like just so they eat.

Whitney Houston had it right when she said that the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Jesus, did I just quote Whitney Houston from memory?  Ugh, don't worry I'll show myself out of man town.

But seriously, when our kids grow up, they are going to be the next leaders of our country. The next teachers, the next architects, the next programmers, the next pro athletes, the next everything. So don't we want to give them the best head start we can?

I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Nothing worth doing ever is. To quote one of my favorite movies, Road Trip: "That's why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy, it would just be the way". Don't take any shortcuts. it'll be worth it in the end.

Prodigy

Everyone thinks their kid is a prodigy of something.. Whether they can hit a golf ball at 2 (my son is the next Tiger Woods) or they can write their name at 3 (they're going to become the next great author), and so on and so forth.

Truth is, prodigal-type talent is mostly inherited. I have no concrete data to back that up, but just indulge me here. My guess is the reason Jason Bonham is such a kick ass drummer is because his father was such a kick ass drummer. And when you are around that type of environment when you are growing up, the part of you that inherited it comes out if fostered correctly. That doesn't mean that kids who don't have John Bonham as their father won't grow up to be amazing drummers, it just helps a little bit..

But don't worry if your child isn't exhibiting signs of being a prodigy of athletics, mathematics, science or anything for that matter. Sometimes a kid is just a kid. The majority of them are. I took the Twinado bowling by myself this Sat morning and then we spent a few hours outside at the playground, the soccer field and the track. Man, were they pooped! (and so was I). They got great exercise on a gorgeous early spring day and now they are relaxing because they are tired. Sometimes I think we push our kids too hard because it's important to have them try so many different things to figure out what they like and what the don't.

Sometimes we just need to let them be kids and I think they'll figure that out all in good time.

Oh, by the way, this is prodigy drummer I recently saw on the interwebs.. He's 6.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=g1qg9myFCqw

Spoiled

So my job comes with some perks like sporting event tickets, concerts, restaurant gift certificates, etc.. But this perk I got on my own.

I won a weekend stay at a Hilton Hotel in Philadelphia from a raffle. Coincidentally enough, I happen to know the manager of the hotel. My family and I were heading down to NY for our annual cousins weekend and then we were going to continue on to Philadelphia for a family vacation. We'd do some historical tours in Philly, take in a Phillies game, go to the zoo, etc. But we needed to change the raffle award to weeknights instead of a weekend to accommodate the dates we would be there.

I was not only able to get a great deal on 3 nights at the hotel, but got upgraded to a suite. So when we finally got to the hotel, we walk in and to the right was a small kitchen, to the left an enormous bathroom and a King size bed. There were couches, chairs and a work area as well. Then, we took the boys to the adjoining room which was to be theirs. They found a TV, a bathroom and a queen size bed all for them! Needless to say they were super psyched. That was also the weekend that Douglas started pooping in the potty.. I doubt there's any correlation, but you never know.

The reason for the back story is because that was the first time they had ever been to a hotel. Just like the first time they ever gone to a Red Sox game, they were in a luxury box. (They're first Bruins game was in a box too). They literally ate their way through 4 innings of the game and we practically had to roll them out to the car. I hope they don't think that every sporting event is like that..

So we were in NY recently for my twin cousins' Bat Mitzvah and we were staying in a hotel. We opened up the door to the room which was just a standard room with 2 queen beds, etc, nothing fancy. Immediately, we hear:

Daniel: "Where are you guys sleeping"?

Douglas: "Where's the kitchen"?

Ugh.. Looks like I have some un-spoiling to do..

Where Were You

There are those moments for all of us. Some are personal and some are local, national and even global.

For people who remember, they know where they were when JFK was shot. (Way before my time). They know where they were when the Challenger exploded. (I was in my classroom having recess because my teacher for whatever reason wouldn't let us watch. Another student barged in and told us what happened). They know where they were when 9/11 happened. (I was at work and when told that a plane had hit the WTC, I asked NY or Boston because I knew my mother in law worked at the one in Boston).

But if we think about the ages that we were when certain life events occur, we don't remember much when we're young. I was 10 for the Challenger so I remember that. But I don't remember the Iranian hostage crisis as I was only 3. I don't remember Reagan or Lennon getting shot as I was only 4.

I've struggled going back and forth on whether or not to expose my kids to some of the horrors that are happening in today's very screwed up world. They do not know, to the best of my knowledge about the shooting at Sandy Hook. All I did was come home that night and hug them as tightly as I could. And we snuggled for a long time before they went to sleep. We have never talked about it.

As for yesterday, I don't believe they know either. The TV was definitely on while they were eating dinner, but they did not pay attention. They did not ask what happened, nor did I offer it up. Even though my son had someone running in the marathon for him as part of the Miles for Miracles program with Boston Children's Hospital, he still did not ask. We had been there at the finish line just 48 hour earlier.

Do I show them the video? Do I then teach them about what true evil looks like? Do I save their innocence, even if it's just for 1 day until the next evil comes along in some other form?

I brought them into work with me today. Really for no other reason than just to be with them. It seemed like a good day to do it. We had lunch together in the kitchen. They drew me pictures. It was nice.

My guess is in the future they would not remember what happened yesterday as they are only 5. And even if they did remember, they may not be able to process it completely now so their memory of it would be faint at best.

I think I'll leave it alone and hopefully they'll never know what evil really is.

Be Prone

As in, get on the floor..  See things from their perspective. Babies love eye contact.

No, of course you're not going to fit on their play mat when they are 3 months old, but there's nothing wrong with getting on the floor and playing with them and their toys.

How to Diffuse a Tantrum

For centuries, as long as there have been children, there have been temper tantrums.. Actually, as long as there have been adults there have been temper tantrums too..

But the hard part is what to do once it happens.. You can see it coming too. They ask for the toy and you say no. First, they get really sad when they don't get what they want. With some kids you might even get that lip quiver trying to make you feel badly. Then they might hold their breath.  And when all else fails, they start crying loudly and falling to the floor wailing. Then, the last step is to go boneless. It's really quite simple and depending on the parent, effective in getting what they want.

Except when you know how to diffuse a tantrum. Knowledge is power. Every parent is afraid of that situation when you are in public, perhaps at a supermarket or department store and the tantrum starts.

I have to say I cannot take credit for this. My wife is the one who came up with it.

When you see the tantrum start, follow these 3 easy steps to diffusing most tantrums:

1. Tell the child they are doing it wrong.

Huh?  What are you talking about?  Just trust me. Clearly the child will stop to look inquisitively at the parent trying to figure what they mean. Don't they understand that I am trying to throw a tantrum here?

2. Tell them how to do it properly. Show him that it's stomp, stomp, arm, arm and not arm, arm, stomp, stomp.

You will have the most bewildered child in the world at this point. Is my adult human really trying to tell me how to properly perform a temper tantrum? I'm the temper tantrum master don't they know this?

And then, when you have them all sorts of confused, lay the big one on:

3. Then, you flop down on the floor and flail!

Seriously, just do it. Your child will think that this is so funny and the best thing ever. Don't get me wrong, they will throw the tantrum, but they'll be LAUGHING while they do it.

Not only did you just change your child from crying to laughing in a matter of a minute, you just diffused a potentially embarrassing situation (especially if you are in a public place) and you didn't lose your temper yelling at your child.

While I can't guarantee success, I can say you have a much better chance of making a bad situation into a funny one. It seems to work with a 100% success rate in our house.

And as you are leaving the store, be sure to bow to the rounds of applause from the other parents. You will have earned it.

The Doppler Effect

So the Doppler Effect, in lieu of an official definition is the change in volume of a noise you hear that gets louder and louder as it gets closer and closer and then gets more faint as it gets farther away from you.

I equate this to raising kids.. Everything just gets louder and louder as your kids grow up. And then suddenly there will be a point in which it starts to get quieter. You don't realize what the mid-way point is until it's too late. Your kids won't need you as much for things anymore. And pretty soon, the house is quiet. No more fighting. No more yelling. No more anything. You long for those days of building forts on a rainy day, reading them books before bedtime or even just snuggling in on family movie night (which I highly suggest by the way). We're also trying to institute family game night as a regular occurrence. Both have been big hits.

I work from home once a week and a few weeks ago I am suddenly approached by two masked superheroes, although the masks aren't plastic or fabric masks. They are marker masks. Yes, they drew masks on each others faces..  (This is why we only have washable markers in the house). I didn't get mad. I laughed as it was pretty funny. They did a good job too! (not sure what the shin guards are all about though).

My point is that maybe they have careers as artists, or maybe not.. But being a kid is all about trying new things.. and we need to make sure we document all of these. We need to chronicle these things that they do. Because what else are we going to use to embarrass them later on?!

Baby-Proofing

Should you do it? Yes you should. Is it necessary to wrap everything in your house with bubble wrap?  No. Kids need to learn boundaries.

Take the proper precautions like putting covers on the outlets. We put safety locks on the cabinets in the kitchen that they could reach. We made sure to tell them what was and what was not acceptable. What they could open and what they couldn't. However, that only goes so far depending on your kids.

We were at a friend's house one day when my boys were about 18 months or so. Then one of mine comes up to me with the lock that was on my friend's entertainment center cabinet and hands it to me. So much for that child proofing!

But we have a coffee table that has some sharp corners. I think I've gotten hurt on them more than the boys have. But if they did get hurt, they would learn to be careful and not to play around the coffee table.

I'm not advocating doing nothing and just letting them go nuts all over the house and get hurt all the time. Take the necessary precautions when they start becoming mobile, but leave some things off the list and test them. Tell them no and that they are off limits and see how it goes. If they listen and understand, then slowly remove certain things as they get older. Before you know it, it'll be a non-issue for both the kids and the parents.

Let's Go Bruins!

So I try to get my boys to a Bruins game at least once a year. And hopefully they won't be scared this time like at the Worcester Sharks game where it might have been thought the mascot was a real shark. Yeah, I know..

But this year was interesting because of the lockout. They kept asking me if we were going to go to a Bruins game this year. Knowing they have no idea when the season starts or how long it is, I just kept saying that the season hadn't started yet, hoping to God the season started really soon because I was starting to really miss it. (And the questions were getting annoying)

I was able to get tickets to the game on February 9th. Yes, the day of the Super Blizzard. Alas, we did not get to go. We were all pretty disappointed so I said I would try to get tickets for another game. Thankfully, I was able to come through and my boys were very excited.

Saturday morning they got up and immediately put on their David Krecji jerseys and were very excited. Even though the game was at 1p and we were going to leave around 1115a, I told them they should take a nap in the car.

To one half of the Twinado I said "may I remind you what happened at Disney on Ice? I told you to take a nap and what did you say?" He replies with "NEVER"!!
"Yes, and what happened?"
"I was whiny and cranky and had to be taken out of the show."

Exactly..  I was NOT going to let that happen at an event I actually wanted to be at. Thankfully, they both did take naps and were well rested by the time we got to the Garden to pay $34 to park. Yes, that's right. $34.  By contrast it was $10 at Disney on Ice. Same venue. Different 3rd party running the parking.

Other than keeping the Twinado from climbing the boards onto the ice, the big challenge at this game was going to be security. I don't know about anyone else's kids, but if there aren't snackies readily available for the #Twinado, we're going to have problems. But seeing as I already paid $34 for parking, I didn't have another $34 to feed the boys. So we took the chance of bringing snacks and drinks with us in a backpack. We had no problem getting in to Disney on Ice with it so we were hoping we did not have a problem. We go through the line and they ask my wife to step to the side so they can check her bag. A little nervous because we have had problems at Fenway with bags and also at the Garden previously. Not with snacks, just with bags in general. Thankfully, the guy just looked it at and had no problem and sent us through.. 

We got to our seats and they were very excited that the Bruins were practicing shooting at the net right in front of us. I took some time to explain some basic things to them. They obviously know the point of the game, but they started to understand power plays, the penalty box and were a little excited when the first fight happened. But so were the other 20K fans so I guess it's ok.. The intermissions were hard. They were good sitting there for the action (periodically asking if the Bruins had won and/or if it was over yet), but when there are 15 minutes or so of down time, it's a challenge. So we got up and walked around the arena and I showed them all the historical pictures and memorabilia that is placed around the Garden. That seemed to pass the time well and it also gave them a little glimpse into some Boston sports history, which is also nice.

The other problem with public events had been the noise level. Whether it be a sporting event, movie, etc the PA announcer or anything loud usually bothers them. I don't know if it's something to do with their prematurity that is just taking its time to mature or not, but I brought ear muffs for each of them and that seemed to sufficiently dull the noise so they were ok.

The third period was here and the Bruins were tied 2-2 after being down a quick 2-0. They had already eaten all their snackies as well as chicken fingers and fries and most of my wife's lunch. They were starting to get rambunctious and we were wondering how much longer they were going to be able to stay there. Thankfully they allowed us to separate them and hold them on our laps while we watched because with about 2 minutes left in the game, the Bruins scored and everyone went crazy!!! 

They were very excited, but it was loud and the ear muffs weren't cutting it..  We did stay till the end of the game, but they were extremely happy to leave as they were passed out not long after exiting the garage.

All in all a good day at the Garden. Bruins won and everyone had fun. But the moral of the story is as always, if you're going anywhere with the #TwinsofAnarchy, make sure you bring plenty of snackies or you'll be sorry!

Bottles for daycare

If you're sending your kids to daycare like we did, they need to have all the bottles made and ready for the entire day. This meant 2 kids, 6 bottles/day while at school = 12 bottles to make. Every day. Just for school.

So don't kill yourself making each bottle individually. Go get yourself a couple of pitchers. You can get them anywhere. You used to make strawberry daiquiris in them before you had twins, remember?

Make sure each child has his own pitcher and write his name on it so there is no confusion. The last thing you want to do is mix up the formulas. We had 1 child with a milk protein allergy so he was on Neutramegin, which was one of the most foul smelling odors I've ever smelled. I still can't even believe he drank it, but he did. The other one was on Enfamil AR, which is pretty common.

Mix the right amount of formula with water so there is enough for all 6 bottles. Do this the night before and put it in the fridge for the morning. Pour the bottles in the morning and you're good to go. Before going to bed that night (obviously after washing all 12 bottles and the pitcher), make the pitchers again and put in the fridge.

While it doesn't seem like much time is saved, believe it or not making the pitchers and not the individual bottles saved enough time for us to maybe eat breakfast in the morning or perhaps snooze once or twice.

And in the world of having children, not just twins, those two things are gold.