Experiential Parenting

Parenting is hard work.  There is no way around that. It just is and always will be. And when we take our kids to the playground or on a play date or to an indoor play space, etc we are still tired. So we use this time to relax, catch up on email, social media, etc.. If we're with friends on a play date then our kids play and we relax. Pretty standard stuff.  

However I'm doing my best, when I can to try something new.. It's called Experiential parenting - do what your kids are doing. Now obviously we can't do everything our kids are doing for various reasons. However, when I can, I like to participate. So many times we want to capture what our children are doing on video or pictures that we forget to experience.. Of course there are times we want on video like birthday parties or once in a lifetime opportunities.. But I feel like I want to experience more WITH my children if I can, when I can (and if they'll allow me). So I decided to say what the hell and have some fun.

Over the weekend I took the Twinado to Launch in Norwood. This is a place totally outfitted with trampolines everywhere. I've heard great things about it and to be honest, it looked like a lot of fun. There are so many play spaces around now with inflatable bounce houses, etc that just weren't around when I was a kid. I feel like I totally missed out on something that I would have really enjoyed. So yeah, I got a ticket for myself. And I am glad I did.

It was awesome..  We jumped, played trampoline basketball (and yes I dunked), trampolined into a foam pit, which is much harder to get out of than these kids make it out to be.. In 3 minutes I was only able to jump in twice. It's common sense that when you jump in feet first your feet are under all the foam blocks. But when you try to pick them up so you can get out the foam blocks stick to your socks and the socks fall off. So you have to then grab the sock and continue to try to get out. It was pretty discouraging really. And then we played a few games of trampoline dodge ball which is about as much fun as it sounds.. 

However I know my limitations (I'm not a huge fan of roller coasters, big drops, etc), but these kids have no fear.. Flips and all.. The boys were even jumping on to the wall, which of course was also a trampoline and it looked like they were stopping or pausing while their feet were on the wall and then they'd just jump off back onto the trampoline like they had done it a million times.. I'm pretty sure one of my kids is going to take up Parkour pretty soon.. If you don't know what that is, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihBoqdOsQOo 

And they are also obsessed with American Ninja Warrior, which is a really cool show if you've never seen it.

It was fun to watch them but also fun to be in the middle of it with them.. And when we were waiting in line they asked if I was going to jump with them. I said yes and they were overjoyed.. I love making them happy.. And it makes me happy to know they enjoy spending time with me too..

So if you are able, the next time your kids are experiencing something new or are at a place where parents can participate, do me a favor: Put down the phone and experience WITH your kids.. It's a whole new perspective.. And even though we know parenting is and always will be hard work, it doesn't mean we can't have fun too.

Spontaneity

The real triumph of this blog post is that I actually spelled the word spontaneity without looking it up first.. I am more than mildly impressed with myself..  And yes, that is about what my life has come to right now and yes, it is sad.. But I digress.. 

This past July 4th (well July 3rd if you want to get technical) we packed up the bag and took the boys to the nearby lake for the fireworks. Right at the beach area they had a band playing, carnival games, food trucks, etc.. A very festive atmosphere. However we learned the hard way last year that being that close to the water meant the louder the fireworks. So we decided to stake out a piece of grass on fields across the street near the high school. This area was much less crowded, the boys could run around and get out all of their energy and it was far enough away from the fire works where it shouldn't be a problem. I remembered the chairs and the blanket and the food/drinks, but forgot the football. And the cards. And the stomp rockets. All the planning I had done thinking it was going to be a few hours that we were there until the fireworks started was all for naught. Crap, now what?

Spontaneity, that's what. Instead of playing cards or throwing around the football, we had the boys do wind sprints and burpees. Then, they went over to the blocking sled used by the town football team (I think) and tried to move it. That was classic. Clearly these two activities did not take up too much time so we went over to the beach area for some games and fun. But there was a lot of time left to kill.

Soon enough, more families started settling in. And before I knew it, the boys were off playing with kids they didn't know on a dirty, dusty baseball diamond. Within 5 minutes they had made up their own game and played it non stop for about an hour and a half. Not only did this entertain the boys for the majority of the time we had before the fireworks, but they had fun, got a lot of energy out as 6 year old boys often have and they met some new friends.

So, what I learned is that all the planning in the world sometimes can't make up for spontaneity. Sometimes you need to just let them explore, meet new kids and make friends, create their own games and have fun. It worked out better than I could have imagined.

Oh, and in case you were wondering the fireworks hadn't been going for more than 3 minutes before they were crying they were too loud so we left.  Hey, at least we beat the traffic home.

Reading Is Fun

I've been telling my kids since I felt they could comprehend it, "If you can read, you can do anything". It's true. Think about it. Back during slavery, they wouldn't allow the slaves to have access to books or learn to read for fear they would become educated. It was a way of keeping control. So I explain to them, "if you can read, you can do anything".

Well they are six now and while we've been working hard with them, reading to them forever as well as working with them on spelling, sounding out words, etc, you can't push it. If you push it, they can become frustrated and shut down. Then they'll see it as more of a chore and not learn to enjoy reading. As a parent or as anyone who is teaching someone something, you really have to walk that fine line of knowing when to push someone and when to back off.

Well, it turns out that Mitch can read. We'd be walking in a store and he would just point to a sign and read it. Or we'd be at the kitchen table and he would point to a magazine and read a few words. Turns out, that while at parent teacher conferences a little ways back, his teacher gave us a list of words each Kindergartner should know by the end of the school year. He knows them all. I'm not saying he's reading novels or anything, but this is a child who hasn't exactly done things on what we would call the "normal" timetable. He never crawled. He didn't walk until he was 19 months old. He was about 6 before being fully potty-trained. Granted the kid has had it a little rough, so we were thinking more often than not he would do whatever it was at his own pace.  Well, I'm glad if something was relatively accelerated, it was this.

And he's excited about it too. A new book from school every week and he's excited to read it at night. We get them both new books all the time and they make it part of their routine before going to sleep to make sure we read at least 1 book. And, now that Mitch is doing well reading and how much praise he's getting, Max is starting to step up his game.

So hopefully, perhaps by the end of the calendar year they'll be reading books to us instead of the other way around. And once that happens, it's a whole new world.

Update: I wrote this awhile ago and never posted it. Since then, Max is definitely better at reading, but just shy about reading out loud. Mitch however will read out loud to himself or to anyone. He'll read anything including magazines, shopping circulars, it doesn't matter. He actually calms down at night but taking out his flashlight and reading a book to himself, out loud before going to bed. I couldn't be more proud.

I Got This..

It's a simple phrase really..  I got this.. It could mean many things..  It could mean someone taking care of a meal.. It could mean someone grabbing a round of beers.. Or it could mean that you'll handle something and don't worry about it..  All relatively common uses for the phrase, but when it comes out of your six year old, time to step on the brakes and pull a George Costanza:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d0uUFw5ggM

So recently we had another common occurrence, a separated birthday party..  Meaning, one twin was invited because it was a classmate of his and the other was not invited because more than likely the birthday girl doesn't even know he has a brother, much less a twin. And we're totally fine with this. In fact, we even like it. The reason is because it gives us a rare opportunity to have some one on one time.

It's at the movies and is a drop off birthday party (a whole new world for us). Mitch is the only boy out of about 10 girls. As my wife relayed the story to me, his parting words were "Don't worry mom; I got this".

Oh crap..

My 6 year old is telling my wife "I got this"? I'm not ready for this..  Granted this is the child that is much more independent. Although he still doesn't like to go upstairs when no one is up there, he's much more apt to play alone than need someone to play with him. And he's getting better..

But if at 6 he feels no fear heading into a birthday party full of 10 girls, what else will he feel no fear about?

First day of Junior High, the beginning of potentially the most awkward 2 years of any boys' life?  Don't worry, I got this.

First day of High School?  Don't worry, I got this.

That big game?  Don't worry coach, I got this.

First day of college?  Don't worry, I got this.

First big presentation at work? Don't worry boss, I got this.

We overtly want our children to be independent so they do not have to rely on us for everything.. However, we covertly wish they would stay young and innocent forever. Maybe that way we wouldn't have to hear the words "Don't worry, I got this". As Dr. Seuss so aptly put it, "Kid, you'll move mountains!"

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Well, technically it was Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.. A seemingly innocuous ritual for little kids is going to see the monster trucks.. Somehow this ritual seemed to have eluded me in my childhood, but not to fear, I have 2 boys!  So off we went to see the Monster Trucks on Saturday.

Our seats were great, however it was so loud! Of course the boys had noise canceling headphones, but it was still loud.. I wish I had a pair! It was cool for the boys to see the monster trucks they  had essentially come to life, but I think the better response was with the Motocross bikers doing tricks, flips, etc..

Overall, it was very cool and a lot of fun, especially when a marriage proposal on the jumbotron captured the Kraken and me sitting right next to them (across the aisle)! http://instagram.com/p/kc4ruCj_Ww/

But the Kraken had had enough towards the end.. It was just too loud for him.. So we went out to the concourse where while it wasn't as loud, it was still pretty loud.. Loud enough that he kept his headphones on. While on the concourse I ran in to my friend Josh Hoch who was with his two little ones and his brother in law. We talked for a bit and both commented on how loud it was. I said I couldn't believe how many kids in there, especially little ones that didn't have ear protection. And he said it should be mandatory. Hmm..

With the roads as they were Saturday night, I did not think about it during our 3 hour trip back from Worcester that should have normally taken about 1 hour. However for the rest of the weekend I did think about it. I'm not a big "mandatory" or "force things on people" kind of person, but when you think about how children are still developing everything at this young age, ear protection at an event like this would be the intelligent thing to do. It can't be up to the child as they are not old enough know for the most part. If it is within their control, it is the parent's responsibility to ensure their child is protected.

I recently took the Twinado ice skating for the first time. Now I grew up in the 80s where not only did we not wear bike helmets, but our parents had no idea where the hell we were for a good 10 hours during the day. They said go play outside and I'll yell for you to come home for dinner. If we came home for lunch then we came home for lunch.. Otherwise, when you heard your mom's very distinctive yell or saw the street lights come on, you knew it was time to go home.. And you went home. If you fell off your bike and skinned your knee, elbow, etc you could go home for some treatment. Then it was right back out there. I also had very large backyard when I was growing up and part of it was woods, so in the winter we would go skating. Lots of downed trees and ponds on the property. We never wore helmets and we didn't even wear skates. Just sneakers. Did we fall down sometimes?  Yup. And did we even fall in sometimes? Yup.

All of that aside however, I did not hesitate one second to make sure I put their bike helmets in the car so I wouldn't forget to bring them skating. They had no issues wearing them as they just think this is what you do. And man am I glad they had them on. Within 5 minutes of skating, the Kraken took a spill and hit his head on the ice. With the helmet, he's back up and skating within 30 seconds.. Without the helmet, we're more than likely at the ER facing a concussion, possible stitches and who knows what else. And later, this little shit thinking he's the next NHL star (which he won't be because he fell more than we did) totally takes us out as we're all holding hands skating.. So again, the helmet saved them. For those curious, no I did not fall.  :)

I am curious though what people think about this topic. What do people think about helmets in general? Should they be mandatory for everyone riding a bike, ice skating, etc or just kids?  If just kids, for what ages?  Under 18? 13? What would be the cut off? What about the headphones or at the very least something to cover their ears while at an event such as the Monster Trucks? Should those be mandatory for everyone? Just kids? Should they be maybe included in the price of the ticket and given out at the event?

Let me know your thoughts. Post them on my FaceBook at www.facebook.com/ben.thaler.9 and on Twitter @bdthaler or @TwinsOfAnarchy

Parent Teacher Conferences?

Did I really just come back from my 6 year old's parent teacher conference?  It was a pretty surreal experience.

I recall being that age and my parents going to my teacher conferences.. Of course these were at night and the one I went to was in the middle of the afternoon, but let that go..

My parents would get a babysitter for my sister and me and they would go to the school.. Then they'd come home and report back to us what our teacher said and what we had to work on and what we were doing well. Of course they would always have glowing reports from my teachers because I never did anything wrong.

It is a little weird to hear all about your child from someone who spends more time with them overall than you do. Unfortunately, that's just the way it is. But we try to have conversations with them about what they did during the day. They're getting better, but they usually go something like this:

Me: So, tell me about your day? (Anyone who has read one of those Pigeon books must be laughing)

TofA: It was good.

Me: What did you do?

TofA: Stuff

But after the conferences I am 100% confident both boys are in very good hands.

However, next year I am dreading that first grade homework!

Casual 5

Can a 5 year old be casual? Don't get me wrong, Douglas is definitely a 5 year old.. Still throws tantrums sometimes (not ok), can't go to bed without a hug and a kiss (always ok) and is lacking in the "trying new foods" department, although he is getting better.

But honestly, he's more like a teenager. He's very casual in his movements. He's got teenager tendencies.. For example, we'll go in to tuck them in and see him just laying there with his hands clasped behind his head while sleeping.  He'll even do that while sitting on the couch. He's also eating us out of house and home yet the kid weighs only 37 pounds.. I swear I have no idea where it goes!

He is very, very funny..  Fresh, but funny.. With that devious type of smile you know something is going on in that evil genius head of his that can't be good. Yet you have to laugh because he is so funny.  He's also very comfortable. And while many teenagers are uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, there are still many that are. And he is very comfortable in who he is, what he wants and when he wants it. He does things on his own terms and doesn't let many things dictate otherwise. I like these traits.

But if this is how he is at 5, oh man what is he going to be like when he really is a teenager?

I Can Do That

It really is amazing to watch little kids attempt to do something and fail miserably, only to see their faces light up with such pride when they come back to you having mastered it.

For example, Daniel had difficulty for awhile on the monkey bars. He just couldn't get past the first one and would hang, get scared and fall. Slowly but surely he would do 2 and then 3 and before we knew it, he was coming home with blisters on his hands because he kept doing the monkey bars over and over again.. He didn't care that got blisters.. He knew he had mastered the monkey bars and that, for him was like acing a test is for a student or a promotion is for an employee.

Recently, he's gotten big into snapping. So I showed him how to do it and of course, he couldn't.. But when I tell you that kid was snapping day and night, I'm not kidding. Everywhere he is snapping or least attempting to. And then one day, he comes to me and shows me how he can snap.. And quite well I might add! And with both hands, which is not easy at that age (at least I don't think).

You have never seen a child so happy and proud for an accomplishment as this kid is from learning how to snap. He shows everybody.

It doesn't matter how little the achievement may be or how mundane the activity.. Remember, everything is new for them. But I am sure these are not the first goals he will set out to achieve and succeed. Far from it.

1st Day of Camp

So today was the first day of camp. Since the 1st week of January, 2008 the Twinado has always gone to the same daycare a minimum of 3 times a week, sometimes even 4. During the summer it turns into a de facto camp, but it's limited to certain activities on a smaller scale due to space. But since our move, the hour and a half drive (each way plus another 45 each way to and from work) 3 times a week to bring them to school for the past 5 weeks has been a major strain on my car and my stress level.

It is now almost 5 1/2 years later and today, they start camp. Much closer to the house. The Twinado definitely inherited my sleeping habits (thankfully) but due to that they aren't the easiest to get up in the morning. Not so today. Right out of bed and dressed and downstairs for breakfast. After breakfast, upstairs to brush their teeth and backpacks on. Normally this would be fantastic, but it was only 720a and the bus wasn't coming until 810a!  However, as I always tell them "early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable." So I will never say being ready 50 minutes early is a bad thing (especially when we have Kindergarten coming in the fall). Oy, seriously?

As we rocked out to a little ACDC and Incubus while waiting for the bus, I had to make sure they had sunscreen on before getting on the bus. So I brought them out around 8a to spray them down. Then, a few minutes after finishing, the bus came and they were so excited!!  Ever since they learned what a yellow school bus was, they have wanted to go on one. It was literally a dream come true for them.

Douglas, being the little guy he is needed some help reaching the first step of the bus. But the bus counselors were great and helped him on and got them to their seats. As we're waiting for the bus to leave, a mother who was there sending her son off asked me if they were twins and I said yes.. First time at camp?  Yes.. She also admitted they were watching me spray the boys down and were flabbergasted at how jacked Douglas was (her word, not mine).  Yeah well, HGH will do that to a kid, but I just said thanks.. Also not the first time that word has been used to describe him.

She also said her son was curious about the sunscreen because after rubbing it in on their heads (gotta protect the top of the head if there is no hat), ears and face, my hands were going to be all sticky and gross. He was interested to know what I would do and that was when I busted out the bottle of water and shirt from my car to wash them off..  This is not my first rodeo, kid.. I got this shit down..

Of course the Twinado was not on the bus for more than 5 minutes when the bus counselor had to come off and talk to me. Here's how the conversation went:

Bus Counselor: "So you're the twins' dad right?
Me: "Yes".
Bus Counselor: "I asked them if they knew what group they were in and they said no". (Even though we went over it this morning). "So I asked them if they thought their daddy would know and I just got a shoulder shrug".
Me: "Poodles. They're in Poodles."
Bus Counselor: "OK, thanks!"

As the bus pulled away and I'm dreading my still hour long commute, I'm reminded of where they started from 5 and a half years ago when I dropped them off at daycare for the first time and where they are today. It's amazing and exciting and man I hope the the camp is still standing by the end of the week.

Blank Slate

For lack of a better term, kids are blank slates. They may have some innate talent or intelligence passed down that is hereditary, but otherwise, pretty much blank slates.

We can make these children into anything we want them to be. We can teach them manners, or we can teach them to be rude. We can teach them to read so they can learn, or we can teach them to watch TV so they can zone out. We can teach them to try new foods and expand their taste buds, or we can just feed them processed food which is bad for them, but we know they like just so they eat.

Whitney Houston had it right when she said that the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Jesus, did I just quote Whitney Houston from memory?  Ugh, don't worry I'll show myself out of man town.

But seriously, when our kids grow up, they are going to be the next leaders of our country. The next teachers, the next architects, the next programmers, the next pro athletes, the next everything. So don't we want to give them the best head start we can?

I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Nothing worth doing ever is. To quote one of my favorite movies, Road Trip: "That's why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy, it would just be the way". Don't take any shortcuts. it'll be worth it in the end.

Prodigy

Everyone thinks their kid is a prodigy of something.. Whether they can hit a golf ball at 2 (my son is the next Tiger Woods) or they can write their name at 3 (they're going to become the next great author), and so on and so forth.

Truth is, prodigal-type talent is mostly inherited. I have no concrete data to back that up, but just indulge me here. My guess is the reason Jason Bonham is such a kick ass drummer is because his father was such a kick ass drummer. And when you are around that type of environment when you are growing up, the part of you that inherited it comes out if fostered correctly. That doesn't mean that kids who don't have John Bonham as their father won't grow up to be amazing drummers, it just helps a little bit..

But don't worry if your child isn't exhibiting signs of being a prodigy of athletics, mathematics, science or anything for that matter. Sometimes a kid is just a kid. The majority of them are. I took the Twinado bowling by myself this Sat morning and then we spent a few hours outside at the playground, the soccer field and the track. Man, were they pooped! (and so was I). They got great exercise on a gorgeous early spring day and now they are relaxing because they are tired. Sometimes I think we push our kids too hard because it's important to have them try so many different things to figure out what they like and what the don't.

Sometimes we just need to let them be kids and I think they'll figure that out all in good time.

Oh, by the way, this is prodigy drummer I recently saw on the interwebs.. He's 6.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=g1qg9myFCqw

Spoiled

So my job comes with some perks like sporting event tickets, concerts, restaurant gift certificates, etc.. But this perk I got on my own.

I won a weekend stay at a Hilton Hotel in Philadelphia from a raffle. Coincidentally enough, I happen to know the manager of the hotel. My family and I were heading down to NY for our annual cousins weekend and then we were going to continue on to Philadelphia for a family vacation. We'd do some historical tours in Philly, take in a Phillies game, go to the zoo, etc. But we needed to change the raffle award to weeknights instead of a weekend to accommodate the dates we would be there.

I was not only able to get a great deal on 3 nights at the hotel, but got upgraded to a suite. So when we finally got to the hotel, we walk in and to the right was a small kitchen, to the left an enormous bathroom and a King size bed. There were couches, chairs and a work area as well. Then, we took the boys to the adjoining room which was to be theirs. They found a TV, a bathroom and a queen size bed all for them! Needless to say they were super psyched. That was also the weekend that Douglas started pooping in the potty.. I doubt there's any correlation, but you never know.

The reason for the back story is because that was the first time they had ever been to a hotel. Just like the first time they ever gone to a Red Sox game, they were in a luxury box. (They're first Bruins game was in a box too). They literally ate their way through 4 innings of the game and we practically had to roll them out to the car. I hope they don't think that every sporting event is like that..

So we were in NY recently for my twin cousins' Bat Mitzvah and we were staying in a hotel. We opened up the door to the room which was just a standard room with 2 queen beds, etc, nothing fancy. Immediately, we hear:

Daniel: "Where are you guys sleeping"?

Douglas: "Where's the kitchen"?

Ugh.. Looks like I have some un-spoiling to do..

Times, They Are A Changin?

There's definitely something weird going on.. Not sure what it is though. Daniel has always been big into Superman and Douglas into Batman. It's like blasphemy if you even look at it as the other one will freak out saying "no that's mine"! Same way with some stuffed animals. Douglas has this puppy which he affectionately calls, well, puppy. And Daniel this very soft and cuddly blue bear, appropriately named, well, blue bear. Daniel also has this white pound puppy he just calls white. I don't know where they come up with these names.

Now it gets weird. Earlier this past week, Daniel actually gave, not traded mind you, gave his blue bear to Douglas for him to have in his bed while he sleeps. This is the blue bear that goes with him to his grandparent's house every weekend. He cannot sleep without it. Instead he wants to take this alligator.

This alone, while a little weird, would not have been such a big deal.

However, this past Saturday he allowed Douglas to wear his long sleeve Superman shirt. Ok, he's being nice and sharing his shirt. But then, in a stunning turn of events, said that he could keep it in his drawer! I had to ask him 3 times to make sure I was hearing it correctly. This essentially means that he will no longer wear it. Because they wear the same size shirts, their drawers are kind of interchangeable, however they do have "their" shirts that only they wear. The Superman shirt was definitely one of those and is now being discarded like an expired coupon. Douglas then gave his Batman shirt to Daniel which is now his to wear along with puppy to sleep with.

It gets even weirder. I went in to tuck them in before I went to bed and didn't even realize until the next morning that they had switched beds!!

Are they growing up realizing they want different things?  Are they just going through a phase? What are they going to do next say that they don't want to wear Angry Birds, Ninja Turtles or Phineas and Ferb underwear anymore?  Oh, that is going to be a sad day..

Twinny Twin Twin!!

New York City, 6p. Wendy Smith is boiling some water for dinner and accidentally burns her right hand. At the same time, across the country in Los Angeles, Wendy's twin sister Bonnie feels a sudden and sharp pain in her right hand. Coincidence?

Remember those? Whether you believe them or not, there is no doubt that twins is an interesting thing. There is absolutely an innate connection. While mine are fraternal (two separate eggs fertilized), they are still as close as identical. We saw 3D ultrasound pictures of them in the womb where they would be rubbing heads. And very often, after they came home, if we put them in the same crib to nap, they would end up with their heads touching, even though they didn't start that way.  It also happens on the couch. They'll be sitting on the couch watching a movie, separated by maybe 1/3 of the couch. Sooner or later you just see them drift towards each other until they are right next to each and don't even realize it.

Sometimes I equate them to the aliens in one of my favorite 80s' movies, "Just One of the Guys". (I highly recommend it). There are these alien twins who appear at the school and cannot be separated. Check out this clip. Fast forward to about the 1 minute mark to see what I mean:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMwIYmgviP0

I'm not saying it's always like this, but there are points where they need to be together. I swear there's nothing cuter than going into my twins' room and finding they are sleeping in the same bed. Only they don't always start that way. Clearly at some point one goes into the other's bed. Daniel has a full size bed and Douglas a twin. For a while they were sleeping in Daniel's bed and that was fine because there was enough room for both and as long as they slept, we didn't care. But lately, they've been wanting to sleep in Douglas's bed, which remember is only a twin. Now we all know how much room there is in a twin bed. More likely than not, many of you reading this have slept in one. Sometimes even with company. We all know it's not the most comfortable of night's sleep.

But really, who is it hurting? Well, I guess it's hurting Douglas because he woke up with a bloody nose the other morning. You know why? Because Daniel had hit him in the face while he flailed around in his sleep because there's NO ROOM FOR TWO PEOPLE IN A TWIN BED!

But we figure it's easier to let them grow out of the stage where they want to sleep in the same bed then force them to do anything that will produce the sound from this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMwIYmgviP0

Nail Biter

Not what you think.. I'm actually ADVOCATING for my children to be nail biters.. Well, not so much finger nails, but toe nails..  Yes, I know, gross..

But have you ever tried to cut a child's toe nails?  Not the easiest task is it? Now try to cut that child's toe nails when he's on steroids?!  And not figuratively, literally on the juice. Yeah, whole different ball game.. (no pun intended). Ok, pun intended.

The trick seems to be sitting on the off leg, as well as some of the 2nd leg while holding the foot of the nails you want to cut. Also, letting them smack you in the butt seems to be a good way of distracting them while you cut their nails. Plus, they think it's funny and concentrate less on you clipping. Trust me, whatever works.

Either way, I will be super happy when the day comes that they can cut their own nails. And shower. And wipe. And tie their shoes. And brush their teeth. And..

The Doppler Effect

So the Doppler Effect, in lieu of an official definition is the change in volume of a noise you hear that gets louder and louder as it gets closer and closer and then gets more faint as it gets farther away from you.

I equate this to raising kids.. Everything just gets louder and louder as your kids grow up. And then suddenly there will be a point in which it starts to get quieter. You don't realize what the mid-way point is until it's too late. Your kids won't need you as much for things anymore. And pretty soon, the house is quiet. No more fighting. No more yelling. No more anything. You long for those days of building forts on a rainy day, reading them books before bedtime or even just snuggling in on family movie night (which I highly suggest by the way). We're also trying to institute family game night as a regular occurrence. Both have been big hits.

I work from home once a week and a few weeks ago I am suddenly approached by two masked superheroes, although the masks aren't plastic or fabric masks. They are marker masks. Yes, they drew masks on each others faces..  (This is why we only have washable markers in the house). I didn't get mad. I laughed as it was pretty funny. They did a good job too! (not sure what the shin guards are all about though).

My point is that maybe they have careers as artists, or maybe not.. But being a kid is all about trying new things.. and we need to make sure we document all of these. We need to chronicle these things that they do. Because what else are we going to use to embarrass them later on?!

Baby-Proofing

Should you do it? Yes you should. Is it necessary to wrap everything in your house with bubble wrap?  No. Kids need to learn boundaries.

Take the proper precautions like putting covers on the outlets. We put safety locks on the cabinets in the kitchen that they could reach. We made sure to tell them what was and what was not acceptable. What they could open and what they couldn't. However, that only goes so far depending on your kids.

We were at a friend's house one day when my boys were about 18 months or so. Then one of mine comes up to me with the lock that was on my friend's entertainment center cabinet and hands it to me. So much for that child proofing!

But we have a coffee table that has some sharp corners. I think I've gotten hurt on them more than the boys have. But if they did get hurt, they would learn to be careful and not to play around the coffee table.

I'm not advocating doing nothing and just letting them go nuts all over the house and get hurt all the time. Take the necessary precautions when they start becoming mobile, but leave some things off the list and test them. Tell them no and that they are off limits and see how it goes. If they listen and understand, then slowly remove certain things as they get older. Before you know it, it'll be a non-issue for both the kids and the parents.

Let's Go Bruins!

So I try to get my boys to a Bruins game at least once a year. And hopefully they won't be scared this time like at the Worcester Sharks game where it might have been thought the mascot was a real shark. Yeah, I know..

But this year was interesting because of the lockout. They kept asking me if we were going to go to a Bruins game this year. Knowing they have no idea when the season starts or how long it is, I just kept saying that the season hadn't started yet, hoping to God the season started really soon because I was starting to really miss it. (And the questions were getting annoying)

I was able to get tickets to the game on February 9th. Yes, the day of the Super Blizzard. Alas, we did not get to go. We were all pretty disappointed so I said I would try to get tickets for another game. Thankfully, I was able to come through and my boys were very excited.

Saturday morning they got up and immediately put on their David Krecji jerseys and were very excited. Even though the game was at 1p and we were going to leave around 1115a, I told them they should take a nap in the car.

To one half of the Twinado I said "may I remind you what happened at Disney on Ice? I told you to take a nap and what did you say?" He replies with "NEVER"!!
"Yes, and what happened?"
"I was whiny and cranky and had to be taken out of the show."

Exactly..  I was NOT going to let that happen at an event I actually wanted to be at. Thankfully, they both did take naps and were well rested by the time we got to the Garden to pay $34 to park. Yes, that's right. $34.  By contrast it was $10 at Disney on Ice. Same venue. Different 3rd party running the parking.

Other than keeping the Twinado from climbing the boards onto the ice, the big challenge at this game was going to be security. I don't know about anyone else's kids, but if there aren't snackies readily available for the #Twinado, we're going to have problems. But seeing as I already paid $34 for parking, I didn't have another $34 to feed the boys. So we took the chance of bringing snacks and drinks with us in a backpack. We had no problem getting in to Disney on Ice with it so we were hoping we did not have a problem. We go through the line and they ask my wife to step to the side so they can check her bag. A little nervous because we have had problems at Fenway with bags and also at the Garden previously. Not with snacks, just with bags in general. Thankfully, the guy just looked it at and had no problem and sent us through.. 

We got to our seats and they were very excited that the Bruins were practicing shooting at the net right in front of us. I took some time to explain some basic things to them. They obviously know the point of the game, but they started to understand power plays, the penalty box and were a little excited when the first fight happened. But so were the other 20K fans so I guess it's ok.. The intermissions were hard. They were good sitting there for the action (periodically asking if the Bruins had won and/or if it was over yet), but when there are 15 minutes or so of down time, it's a challenge. So we got up and walked around the arena and I showed them all the historical pictures and memorabilia that is placed around the Garden. That seemed to pass the time well and it also gave them a little glimpse into some Boston sports history, which is also nice.

The other problem with public events had been the noise level. Whether it be a sporting event, movie, etc the PA announcer or anything loud usually bothers them. I don't know if it's something to do with their prematurity that is just taking its time to mature or not, but I brought ear muffs for each of them and that seemed to sufficiently dull the noise so they were ok.

The third period was here and the Bruins were tied 2-2 after being down a quick 2-0. They had already eaten all their snackies as well as chicken fingers and fries and most of my wife's lunch. They were starting to get rambunctious and we were wondering how much longer they were going to be able to stay there. Thankfully they allowed us to separate them and hold them on our laps while we watched because with about 2 minutes left in the game, the Bruins scored and everyone went crazy!!! 

They were very excited, but it was loud and the ear muffs weren't cutting it..  We did stay till the end of the game, but they were extremely happy to leave as they were passed out not long after exiting the garage.

All in all a good day at the Garden. Bruins won and everyone had fun. But the moral of the story is as always, if you're going anywhere with the #TwinsofAnarchy, make sure you bring plenty of snackies or you'll be sorry!

Feeding, at the same time

When I tell you that trying to feed them at the same time is a disaster, I'm not kidding. But, then that little lightbulb goes off and you think you're a genius. You're not, you've just had more sleep that day than previous days..

Step 1: Get a boppy. 2 if you can, but one will suffice.
Step 2: Please the boppy to the side of you, whichever is your dominant hand so the open part of the ring is facing you.
Step 3: Put 1 kid in the boppy leaning the head against the middle of the ring so they are slightly upright.
Step 4: Sit up against a pillow, wall, etc so you are upright and place your other child on your lap with your knees up so they are upright.
Step 5: While making sure both kids are within arms reach, feed. You don't have to hold either kid, they are being help upright by either the boppy or your knees which will help with swallowing and digestion and you can feed both at the same time.

If your first question is about burping after, well that goes to another lesson you're going to learn. Well, more like your twins are going to learn: You won't always be first and you won't always be last. Burping at the same time is ok, but I found you were never really able to get a good one because of the lack of control. So pick one up, burp them, put them upright on the boppy or the bouncy seat and then burp the other one.

Once you've mastered this, you will drastically cut down on the feeding time for each kid and you have more time between feedings.

Running with Scissors

I have to admit, we're pretty lucky. Having twins enables us to sleep because they always have someone to play with. I also will not complain because if there is one thing we were blessed with it is good sleeping kids. On any given night they'll sleep 10 hours, straight through. And based on everything we've been through, we deserve at least that.

So we've conditioned them from a very young age that Saturdays and Sundays are for sleeping. So when they wake up, they usually either go downstairs to the playroom, go to the kitchen table and play with whatever game is available, or stay in their rooms and play with cars, build forts, etc.. But they know that Saturday and Sunday is for sleeping. Unless there's something going on, we can usually get to 8am, which is usually unheard of when you have kids.

So for Hanukkah the boys got Trouble and Sorry as gifts. How apropos, right?  Anyway, Trouble was already opened and played ad nauseum, although it is a fun game. Sorry was still in the cellophane wrapping. They came into our bedroom Saturday morning and asked if we could come downstairs, open it and play. It was too early so we said play Trouble for a bit and well come down soon, open Sorry and we'll play. I came downstairs shortly thereafter to walk the dog only to find the Sorry board game open, set up on the living room floor with the two of them quietly playing. Reluctantly, I asked how they got the game open. And of course, the answer was "with scissors".

After feeling my heart in my throat, I took a deep breath knowing that they were fine so clearly nothing bad had happened. I asked them to show me what they did. They walked me into the kitchen, opened the kitchen drawer and pulled out the pair of scissors they used. They even said, "and we carried it like you showed us", which is with your hand over the closed blades. Hey, I gotta give them points for at least listening. Since their hands are not strong enough to open the scissors, it looks like it was a team effort. They got the cellophane open, put the scissors back, shut the drawer and played the game.

Now, there is no way I can be mad really. I WANT them to be more self-sufficient. I WANT them to be independent and take care of things I know they can. I WANT them to work together to come up with solutions to problems. I just didn't think it would happen so quickly!

So I explained to them that while I was very impressed at what they did, that they always needed to be careful when utilizing scissors or any sharp object and never to run with them. They understood.

Now, if I could only get them to pour their milk for their cereal...