Everyone Remembers Their First

Everyone remembers their first..  That sentence is usually tied to one's first sexual experience. But it doesn't matter what first you're talking about.  Whether that be your first pet, your first kiss or first concert, these are things that humans tend to lock away deep in their memories and can recall at a moment's notice.

Well maybe you have heard there is this little band called the Foo Fighters who this past weekend played this little ballpark called Fenway. I've seen a number of shows there and I'll be honest, the acoustics aren't great. And, as long as we're being honest, it's not that great for watching a ballgame either. It's an amazing park, but the seats suck, they don't even face the field half the time and more often than not the product on the field isn't even worth watching. But I digress..

For a long time it has been a goal of mine, a bucket list item if you will, to sit front row at a concert. And unless you count being belly up to the stage for Letters to Cleo and Bare Naked Ladies at Smith College in the mid 90s front row (which I don't), it was still on the list. Until Saturday.

I was lucky enough to go to this show with my wife and 2 friends and sat front row, right in front of a wall of bass amplifiers. I truly thought my heart was going to explode during the Mighty Mighty Bosstones set. Thankfully, the Foo Fighters are not a bass heavy band and Taylor Hawkins, the drummer was set on the opposite side of the stage. Again, having never officially sat that close for a show before I had no idea what I was in for. I was able to see small interactions between the band as well as between the band and friends that were offstage which was interesting.

I had always wondered what it was like to sit front row, and now I know.. it's LOUD! Thankfully we were wearing ear plugs because we're not that young anymore and actually value our hearing.. But it was such a different perspective, turning around and looking at tens of thousands of people behind me was weird. And although I enjoyed it, I don't need to do it again. I can cross it off the bucket list and move on to something else.

And that something else was enjoying a Foo Fighters concert with my boys. They are still young (8 in September), however they have been listening to the Foo Fighters since they've been alive. We always told ourselves that we would not succumb to the Barney and Disney Radio crap.. If we were driving, they were going to listen to what we listened to. Hence, their music library consists of all sorts of music. (See earlier blog entitled Müzik, Μουσική, Musiikki)  For example, their favorite song right now is Fire by Jimi Hendrix. A friend's son is learning drums and he made a birthday mix of good drum songs and handed it out at the party. My boys listen to it every time they're in the car. Sadly, they have been asking if they can see Jimi in concert. I told them that unfortunately he is dead and has been for a long time. But, I know there are many people right there with them who would like to see him in concert.

Thankfully I am in a position where I was able to take them to this show and share their first concert experience with them. Everyone plays the game. You know, "what was your first concert"? Mine was Steve Miller Band at Great Woods (known by no other name) in the summer of 1992. We were CIT's at summer camp in NH and as a special night out trip we all got tickets to the show. We sat on what was known back then as "The Lawn". Great Woods is an amphitheater in Mansfield, MA that holds about 19K people. 10K in the lower seating area and then another 9K up on the lawn. This was pre cell phone days where you met someone at a place at a time and you went there. There was no "text me when you get there" or "change of plans we're going here instead". You had to wade through thousands of people just to get the side of the lawn to go to the bathroom, get something to eat, etc. There are very large cement poles that tell you what section you're in if you are in the lower bowl area. Well people on the lawn used to use those as markers so you knew about where you were. And then you used that pole and and an approximation of how far up the lawn you were so you could meet back up with your group. An inexact science at best, yet we always seemed to manage to meet back up with our friends. But after numerous iterations of "the lawn" going from grass, to mulch, to sand, etc they have now turned it into actual rows of seats which makes it more difficult for larger groups to sit together, dance, etc. Oh well, another part of my youth gone.. 

But everyone has a first concert and everyone has that conversation with people regardless of who they are. And it doesn't matter what it was. Oftentimes kids were taken to a show by their parents because either a) they thought it would be a nice night out or b) the parents had tickets and couldn't get a babysitter. But this show was something I knew the boys would want to see and I wanted to share it with them. Again, they've grown up listening to this band and know about 10-11 songs. That is probably more than some of the people that were there to be honest. They were able to sing along to some of the them and had no problem dancing around and just being mesmerized at the live performance that was happening right in front of them. 

As I've said before, life is full of experiences and this opportunity was one I was not about to pass up.

Cross another one off my bucket list too. It's something that they will never ever forget, nor will I. 

Luke 6:40

So we're in the car recently and a song comes on the radio. Mitch says "Oh, I know this song." "It's Cecilia and the Satellite". I said that's correct and it's by Andrew McMahon. (I will forever believe that it should be sung by the band Phoenix, but I digress). Anyway, I said the scroll on my radio also says In The Wildnerness.

So naturally, I say that the word wilderness has a bonus letter. Quickly the conversation devolved into a 1st grade (now 2nd grade) grammar conversation about bonus letters, digraphs and the like. I asked what makes a bonus letter and the answer was it has to have a short vowel sound that precedes the double letter f, l, s and sometimes z. So we all took turns thinking of examples of bonus letter words.

The conversation between us went back and forth for a few minutes until Mitch finally says, "you know dad, sometimes I think we're the teachers and you're the student".

I couldn't agree more Mitch.. I couldn't agree more.

Experiential Parenting

Parenting is hard work.  There is no way around that. It just is and always will be. And when we take our kids to the playground or on a play date or to an indoor play space, etc we are still tired. So we use this time to relax, catch up on email, social media, etc.. If we're with friends on a play date then our kids play and we relax. Pretty standard stuff.  

However I'm doing my best, when I can to try something new.. It's called Experiential parenting - do what your kids are doing. Now obviously we can't do everything our kids are doing for various reasons. However, when I can, I like to participate. So many times we want to capture what our children are doing on video or pictures that we forget to experience.. Of course there are times we want on video like birthday parties or once in a lifetime opportunities.. But I feel like I want to experience more WITH my children if I can, when I can (and if they'll allow me). So I decided to say what the hell and have some fun.

Over the weekend I took the Twinado to Launch in Norwood. This is a place totally outfitted with trampolines everywhere. I've heard great things about it and to be honest, it looked like a lot of fun. There are so many play spaces around now with inflatable bounce houses, etc that just weren't around when I was a kid. I feel like I totally missed out on something that I would have really enjoyed. So yeah, I got a ticket for myself. And I am glad I did.

It was awesome..  We jumped, played trampoline basketball (and yes I dunked), trampolined into a foam pit, which is much harder to get out of than these kids make it out to be.. In 3 minutes I was only able to jump in twice. It's common sense that when you jump in feet first your feet are under all the foam blocks. But when you try to pick them up so you can get out the foam blocks stick to your socks and the socks fall off. So you have to then grab the sock and continue to try to get out. It was pretty discouraging really. And then we played a few games of trampoline dodge ball which is about as much fun as it sounds.. 

However I know my limitations (I'm not a huge fan of roller coasters, big drops, etc), but these kids have no fear.. Flips and all.. The boys were even jumping on to the wall, which of course was also a trampoline and it looked like they were stopping or pausing while their feet were on the wall and then they'd just jump off back onto the trampoline like they had done it a million times.. I'm pretty sure one of my kids is going to take up Parkour pretty soon.. If you don't know what that is, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihBoqdOsQOo 

And they are also obsessed with American Ninja Warrior, which is a really cool show if you've never seen it.

It was fun to watch them but also fun to be in the middle of it with them.. And when we were waiting in line they asked if I was going to jump with them. I said yes and they were overjoyed.. I love making them happy.. And it makes me happy to know they enjoy spending time with me too..

So if you are able, the next time your kids are experiencing something new or are at a place where parents can participate, do me a favor: Put down the phone and experience WITH your kids.. It's a whole new perspective.. And even though we know parenting is and always will be hard work, it doesn't mean we can't have fun too.

Müzik, Μουσική, Musiikki

It doesn't matter what language you say it in, whether it be Turkish, Greek or Finnish, I truly believe that music has magical properties.. The type of music is also irrelevant, it just needs to be the type of music that appeals to you. Whether it's listening to Enya while you have a migraine (I know someone who does that) or listening to heavy metal while you study (I know people who did that too) there's something about music that resonates with everyone.

Think about your life. When a song comes on the radio many people have an association with an event, a person or something in their life that is traced back to that song. It could have been that first dance at your middle school dance or the popular song that summer you lived in the city or your wedding song or even that time on that college road trip when.. hmm, better leave that one out..

But you get the point. Music has that ability to somehow transcend the aural and manages to connect directly to your emotions. And that is what I am hoping happens with boys. At a very early age we wanted to make sure they listened to music. (You can listen to Jimi, but you can't hear him- White Men Can't Jump, anyone?) Ok, moving on..

They had the mobiles in their cribs when they were babies, until one of them tore it down and that was the end of that one. But we then discovered Rock A Bye Baby, which is rock music of all different bands (Foo Fighters, Nirvana, Green Day, U2, Zeppelin, Beatles, etc) all played like lullaby's. It is very cool, very soothing and they liked it a lot as did we. They still listen to it to this day.

But we also said to ourselves that we will not be beholden to the kids music when we're driving. I'll admit, we had the 40th Anniversary CD's of Sesame Street and we would listen to them in the car. The boys liked it and calmed them down on long road trips. It was also nostalgic for us hearing the songs that we remember from watching Sesame Street as kids. (See, it all comes back to music association) But when they were old enough, we started making them listen to our music. Hey, if we were going to be in the car with them for a while and they could keep themselves busy by looking out the window and playing games, we were going to listen to what we wanted. So they started enjoying some of our music.

I go old school and make them mix CD's. I have an ipod which I could create playlists, but it's not connecting in my car for some reason so it's just easier this way.. Plus, the boys look forward to when daddy creates a new CD..

I've made 4 or 5 of them. While there are still a few of the artists below that they haven't heard yet, here is a list of the artists that have been on these mix CD's:

Green Day, Foo Fighters, Dropkick Murphy's, John Cougar, AFI, Incubus, Dazz Band, Dave Matthews Band, Big & Rich, Of Monsters & Men, The Police, Beastie Boys, Airborne Toxic Event, The Beatles, Elvis, Cheap Trick, Fratellis, The Libertines, Imagine Dragons, Zeppelin, Toby Keith, The Black Crowes, Ben E. King, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, Run DMC, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Tears For Fears, Clapton, The Lumineers, Metallica, Van Halen, Neon Trees, Puscifer, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Twisted Sister, Queen, Black Keys, MGMT, ACDC, Nirvana, KISS, The Ramones, Bruno Mars, Blues Traveler, Lynyrd Skynyrd, REM, Talking Heads, Blur.

Now obviously some of these artists have a particular popular song that is more than likely the song I put on the CD. But others are not what you may think. It was not always the popular song for a well known band we played for them. We want them to appreciate the band/artist for their music and not just have them know the "popular, mainstream" song for which the band may be known. But the goal here, as you can see is to broaden their musical horizons with old, new, blues, rock, alternative, rap, 80s, punk and everything in between. Just giving them a taste of whatever we can find and see what they like and don't like. They are really taking it all in and want more. They're kind of like Neo with the training simulation in The Matrix.

My ultimate goal with this project? That "a-ha" moment. We've all seen those Top 100 "Fill in the Blank" shows on VH1 or some network that counts down the top 100 greatest rock songs or guitar riffs, etc. There's invariably one critic or artist that says "I remember the first time I heard _____. I said to myself, what the hell is that?" I want at least one, if not both of my kids to have that kind of moment when they hear something.. Whether it be a guitar riff, a song or drum solo, it doesn't matter.. It will make it all worthwhile.

PS - It happened. With the Kraken. And Metallica. Is anyone really that surprised?

FREE BIRD!!!

My first concert was the summer of 1992.  Great Woods in Mansfield, MA. (it has previously been known as the Tweeter Center and currently is known as the Comcast Center, but anyone who grew up in the area will tell you it will always be Great Woods). I was a CIT (Counselor in Training) at a camp in Brookline, NH called Camp Tevya. All of the CIT's had 1 "night out" a summer and it worked out perfectly that the Steve Miller Band was playing at Great Woods on our night out.  While a night out in the summer may seem pretty standard, not to anyone who works at a camp.  When not many, if any of us have a license much less a car, it's hard to go anywhere or do anything that isn't camp sanctioned. So when we were afforded this luxury of an opportunity, we jumped on it. We sat on the lawn (grr..) and everybody danced and sang and it was so much fun. I "grr" at the lawn sentence because what used to be a really nice amphitheater seating about 10K under cover and another 9K on the lawn above it has now turned into a fortress.  People used to bring chairs, blankets and have a grand old time on the lawn.  Plus, it was cheaper than the seats.  Lawn seats for most shows were about $15-$20. Now, they have built seats that encompass about 90% of the "lawn" leaving the very top grass.  But you are so far away, it doesn't even matter. It certainly has taken something from sitting up there for a show.  But I digress.

As I get older I'm trying to do a few things I've never done before.. Some may call it a bucket list, some may call it "things I've never done before".  Either way, I'm trying to do these things before I don't have a chance. Many of the items on this list include seeing bands I've never seen. Many bands obviously I would love to, but it's just happening. (Although STILL holding out hope for a Led Zeppelin reunion tour with either Jason Bonham or Dave Grohl on drums).  It could happen..  Seriously, it could.. But it's also different nowadays.  back in the 70s, 80s and 90s, if you didn't go to the show, you didn't see the show.  Now, with the advent of cell phones with such great cameras on them, you can just look up on you tube any show you want and see what it looked like.  While it does take some of the value away from being there, however I don't think anything is quite like being physically at the live show. So when the opportunity came to see KISS and Motley Crue at said Great Woods, I jumped at it.  Obviously, these bands are not in their prime.  KISS only has 50% of its original members. But that's ok. I didn't mind.  Both bands put on fantastic theatrical performances, stuff I had never seen before at a live show and sang many songs I knew.

Getting back to the cell phone, is it me or has the cell phone replaced the lighter?  Everyone always has their phone out taking pictures and video of the show. Previously, if a band or artist was playing a ballad, the crowd would take out their lighters and use them to light the arena during the song. However now due to the brightness of the cell phone screens, people just leave their phones out for the entire show and use the phones during said ballads.  It's kind of weird.  There was something about all the lighters up with the flames hanging in the air while a band like Skynyrd played their classic "Free Bird". No shortage of jokes coming here I am sure.

Back to this show. Out of everything going on, I did see something that caught my eye: Kids. Especially for KISS, there were so many kids.. I mean, we're talking 9, 10, 11 years old in KISS t-shirts with KISS makeup on throwing up rock fists and singing along.. Granted they were wearing noise-canceling headphones (very smart), but they were there and I thought it was awesome. Originally I had wanted my boys' first concert to be something low key, maybe a James Taylor or something like that.  An artist I have seen numerous times, music than transcends generations and you can enjoy the show.  You're not going to see theater or pyrotechnics or anything of that nature, but you'll say great musicians performing their art to perfection. And that is still a show.

But I want my kids to go to a rock show.  They don't necessarily need to paint their faces, but I want them to experience something they've never experienced before every time they go to a show.  That's the reason why Gene Simmons formed KISS.  He said he was tired of the same old crap for live shows. They were boring and cookie cutter.  He wanted to perform on stage for people something they had never seen before and something they would never forget. If my kids can have those types of experiences at the live shows, then I've done my job.

Reflection

This blog is usually pretty light-hearted, but unfortunately sometimes I need to be serious.

Everyone has problems and/or issues with their kids.. No one's child is perfect (although we all like to believe so). Trust me, I know. Medical issues started with my kids while they were still in the womb! Some children have difficulty eating, some have chronic illnesses, learning disabilities, and other issues that we believe are so awful that we become so stressed about them and they start to take over our daily lives.  Not to make light of anything (I never would), but in many ways a lot of these issues are manageable whether via medicine, therapy or just good old fashioned time where the child will grow out of whatever it is.

However I heard some news yesterday about a friend's daughter that really threw me for a loop. Losing a child is quite possibly the worst thing I can think of right now. I don't know what I would do.

Thankfully they are persevering with help from friends, family and loved ones and coping the best they can with this obviously unimaginable tragedy.

So the next time you find yourself complaining about your child's issues whether it be not pooping in the potty, having trouble walking, or anything else, know that it more often than not will get better. The reason is because each day is another opportunity.

Now go hug your kids and tell them you love them.

Used Car Amenities

So a long time ago, somewhere around 1998 I graduated college..  I had gotten a job and needed a car.  However, not just any car.  I didn't want another used car with those used car amenities.  I wanted a new car.  You know, one that started when you turned the key and and when you turned on the AC cold air blew in instead of hot air..  I was stupid as all college graduates really are and I got a car with "new car amenities"..

However one thing I still could not have, regardless of the car I bought was the ability to listen to a song anytime I wanted.  Or, better yet, be able to see what the song title was and who was singing it.  I mean, that was futuristic stuff in the late 90s!  (This was just starting to come out and was a top option in available models)

Fast forward 14 years and we have satellite radio, ipods and in many cars the text button.  Press this and on some stations it will tell you what song is playing and who the artist is.  This feature is standard for my children.  They will never know what it is like not to know the title and/or artist of the song currently playing.  And, for some reason if you are not blessed with this feature, yup there's an app for that.  I have an app on my phone as a lot of people do where if you launch it and hold it up to the speaker, it will not only tell you what the name of the song is and who is singing it, but the title of the album, it will scroll the lyrics for you and you can also download the song to your itunes with the touch of a button.  And, if you are so inclined to want to tell people what you are listening to, you can post it to Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.  Crazy..  I love it.

But I feel like the boys are missing out.  They'll never know what it's like only to have 5 or 6 channels.  They'll never know what it's like to actually BE the remote control for someone (raise your hand if you ever sat close to the TV for the sole purpose of being close enough so when your parent or older sibling told you to change the channel, you didn't have to move that much).  Keep em up.. That's right..

They'll never know what it's like to think "Argh, I forgot to set the VCR"!  Or worse, you remembered to set the VCR, but forgot to rewind the tape!  now not only do many people have DVR's, but you can set it from a computer and even your phone!  They'll never know what it's like to sit in front of your boombox for half an hour because the DJ said that coming up was your favorite song.  And while you're waiting you set up the cassette in the boombox all ready to hit play and record together so you can record your favorite song.  And then when you want to play it, you can just hit rewind and then stop.  Then play.  Realize you still have about half the song to go and then rewind some more, stop.  Play. Almost there.  Rewind and stop.  Play.  Rewind stop!  Rewind stop!  Yeah you remember doing that..

Now my 4 year olds just go to the ipod, hit itunes and play (they even have their own playlist of songs and artists they like).  For example, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys and Green Day are in heavy rotation. Or, take the ipad, turn on Pandora, choose a station and hit play.  When they want to watch something?  On mand (On Demand to the rest of us).  For other shows and movies not on mand?  Sure, why not.  There's Netflix. Hit a few buttons on the remote and there you go!  Instant Gratification.

I have a feeling that on the way to school on Tuesday, I just might not tell them who is singing the song on the radio.  I gotta have a little fun right?