Everyone Remembers Their First

Everyone remembers their first..  That sentence is usually tied to one's first sexual experience. But it doesn't matter what first you're talking about.  Whether that be your first pet, your first kiss or first concert, these are things that humans tend to lock away deep in their memories and can recall at a moment's notice.

Well maybe you have heard there is this little band called the Foo Fighters who this past weekend played this little ballpark called Fenway. I've seen a number of shows there and I'll be honest, the acoustics aren't great. And, as long as we're being honest, it's not that great for watching a ballgame either. It's an amazing park, but the seats suck, they don't even face the field half the time and more often than not the product on the field isn't even worth watching. But I digress..

For a long time it has been a goal of mine, a bucket list item if you will, to sit front row at a concert. And unless you count being belly up to the stage for Letters to Cleo and Bare Naked Ladies at Smith College in the mid 90s front row (which I don't), it was still on the list. Until Saturday.

I was lucky enough to go to this show with my wife and 2 friends and sat front row, right in front of a wall of bass amplifiers. I truly thought my heart was going to explode during the Mighty Mighty Bosstones set. Thankfully, the Foo Fighters are not a bass heavy band and Taylor Hawkins, the drummer was set on the opposite side of the stage. Again, having never officially sat that close for a show before I had no idea what I was in for. I was able to see small interactions between the band as well as between the band and friends that were offstage which was interesting.

I had always wondered what it was like to sit front row, and now I know.. it's LOUD! Thankfully we were wearing ear plugs because we're not that young anymore and actually value our hearing.. But it was such a different perspective, turning around and looking at tens of thousands of people behind me was weird. And although I enjoyed it, I don't need to do it again. I can cross it off the bucket list and move on to something else.

And that something else was enjoying a Foo Fighters concert with my boys. They are still young (8 in September), however they have been listening to the Foo Fighters since they've been alive. We always told ourselves that we would not succumb to the Barney and Disney Radio crap.. If we were driving, they were going to listen to what we listened to. Hence, their music library consists of all sorts of music. (See earlier blog entitled Müzik, Μουσική, Musiikki)  For example, their favorite song right now is Fire by Jimi Hendrix. A friend's son is learning drums and he made a birthday mix of good drum songs and handed it out at the party. My boys listen to it every time they're in the car. Sadly, they have been asking if they can see Jimi in concert. I told them that unfortunately he is dead and has been for a long time. But, I know there are many people right there with them who would like to see him in concert.

Thankfully I am in a position where I was able to take them to this show and share their first concert experience with them. Everyone plays the game. You know, "what was your first concert"? Mine was Steve Miller Band at Great Woods (known by no other name) in the summer of 1992. We were CIT's at summer camp in NH and as a special night out trip we all got tickets to the show. We sat on what was known back then as "The Lawn". Great Woods is an amphitheater in Mansfield, MA that holds about 19K people. 10K in the lower seating area and then another 9K up on the lawn. This was pre cell phone days where you met someone at a place at a time and you went there. There was no "text me when you get there" or "change of plans we're going here instead". You had to wade through thousands of people just to get the side of the lawn to go to the bathroom, get something to eat, etc. There are very large cement poles that tell you what section you're in if you are in the lower bowl area. Well people on the lawn used to use those as markers so you knew about where you were. And then you used that pole and and an approximation of how far up the lawn you were so you could meet back up with your group. An inexact science at best, yet we always seemed to manage to meet back up with our friends. But after numerous iterations of "the lawn" going from grass, to mulch, to sand, etc they have now turned it into actual rows of seats which makes it more difficult for larger groups to sit together, dance, etc. Oh well, another part of my youth gone.. 

But everyone has a first concert and everyone has that conversation with people regardless of who they are. And it doesn't matter what it was. Oftentimes kids were taken to a show by their parents because either a) they thought it would be a nice night out or b) the parents had tickets and couldn't get a babysitter. But this show was something I knew the boys would want to see and I wanted to share it with them. Again, they've grown up listening to this band and know about 10-11 songs. That is probably more than some of the people that were there to be honest. They were able to sing along to some of the them and had no problem dancing around and just being mesmerized at the live performance that was happening right in front of them. 

As I've said before, life is full of experiences and this opportunity was one I was not about to pass up.

Cross another one off my bucket list too. It's something that they will never ever forget, nor will I. 

Luke 6:40

So we're in the car recently and a song comes on the radio. Mitch says "Oh, I know this song." "It's Cecilia and the Satellite". I said that's correct and it's by Andrew McMahon. (I will forever believe that it should be sung by the band Phoenix, but I digress). Anyway, I said the scroll on my radio also says In The Wildnerness.

So naturally, I say that the word wilderness has a bonus letter. Quickly the conversation devolved into a 1st grade (now 2nd grade) grammar conversation about bonus letters, digraphs and the like. I asked what makes a bonus letter and the answer was it has to have a short vowel sound that precedes the double letter f, l, s and sometimes z. So we all took turns thinking of examples of bonus letter words.

The conversation between us went back and forth for a few minutes until Mitch finally says, "you know dad, sometimes I think we're the teachers and you're the student".

I couldn't agree more Mitch.. I couldn't agree more.

Blocks

Recently we went over to a friend's house for dinner and they have a year and a half old boy. While my boys were playing in 1 room, the other 3 adults were cooking and I was on toddler duty.

Man, that kid was all over the place.. Climbing on chairs, playing with this, going into the other room, wanting to play with that.. It was like he had new batteries in him and was fully charged, ready to go!

Then finally we settled on stacking blocks. We sat there for about 30 minutes just stacking blocks, but he was having so much fun. (And to be honest, so was I). It had been a long time since I just sat there and stacked blocks. He was doing really well too.  I started remembering all the times we sat there and played with blocks, etc with the boys and how much fun it was..  Did I miss this time? Did I miss it enough to want to have another child?

To quote one of my favorite movies, A Bronx Tale: "Thanks, but we're good where we are".

Now batting....

It's official!  The Twins of Anarchy have been signed by the Red Sox!!  Well, not the Boston Red Sox unfortunately, the Little League version of the Red Sox..  But hey, still better than being on the Yankees..

And it's so amazing to see them be on the field, taking grounders, catching pop ups, hitting off a tee against the backstop. It seems like just the other day Max was moving the toys away from Mitch because he couldn't crawl and therefore would have no toys to play with.. Now I can just envision them being in the middle of a 6-4-3 double play..

I'm just wondering when this happened... I mean, I throw grounders to them in the yard and we work on pop ups and hitting off a tee. However they never played T-Ball. There's something different when they're actually physically on a baseball diamond, in an infield position fielding ground balls.

Their first practice of the season was on Monday. And here is one of them, with his hat backwards in the ready position to field the ground ball. He watches it into his glove, scoops it up and takes it out and throws it right back into my glove like he had done it a thousand times..  I said "great job, that's the way to field a ground ball" while pointing my glove at him.. He points back with his glove in acknowledgement and starts to jog to the end of the line..

It was one of those moments that makes you proud to be a father.. But it was also kind of scary realizing that they're not always going to be my little boys.. They are going to grow up, and faster that I would like them to. They're already almost 8 which if you've been following this blog and/or just know their story, is an amazing feat in and of itself.

So I'll keep my dream alive of course of watching them at Fenway turning the double play for the Red Sox. But for now, I'll just enjoy pointing gloves at each other and being proud.

Reading is Fun

I understand we as adults and parents have a lot on our plates. Whether it's paying the bills, cleaning the house, doing the laundry or sometimes even having to do some work at home after hours. But you should never, ever, ever say no to your child when they ask you to read to them. This is one of those times where it's just you and him/her (or them) and they are totally fixated on what you are saying and showing them. You have their undivided attention for around 10 minutes and they love it. That is precious time you should never turn down. As they get older it also gives you a chance to practice the alphabet, spelling and reading.

Plus, it gives you a chance to re-live all the books that hopefully you read as a kid. Where The Wild Things Are (aside from that kid being a spoiled brat) was one of my favorite books as a kid. Miss Nelson is Missing which they are starting to enjoy. Not to mention all the Dr. Seuss books. But there are many good new books too. Giraffe's Can't Dance, Walter the Farting Dog and the Pigeon books by Mo Willem, just to name a few.

Moral of this post: Enjoy the time you have when your kids actually want to spend it with you. Before you know it you'll just be this embarrassingly uncool adult who gives them money.

Experiential Parenting

Parenting is hard work.  There is no way around that. It just is and always will be. And when we take our kids to the playground or on a play date or to an indoor play space, etc we are still tired. So we use this time to relax, catch up on email, social media, etc.. If we're with friends on a play date then our kids play and we relax. Pretty standard stuff.  

However I'm doing my best, when I can to try something new.. It's called Experiential parenting - do what your kids are doing. Now obviously we can't do everything our kids are doing for various reasons. However, when I can, I like to participate. So many times we want to capture what our children are doing on video or pictures that we forget to experience.. Of course there are times we want on video like birthday parties or once in a lifetime opportunities.. But I feel like I want to experience more WITH my children if I can, when I can (and if they'll allow me). So I decided to say what the hell and have some fun.

Over the weekend I took the Twinado to Launch in Norwood. This is a place totally outfitted with trampolines everywhere. I've heard great things about it and to be honest, it looked like a lot of fun. There are so many play spaces around now with inflatable bounce houses, etc that just weren't around when I was a kid. I feel like I totally missed out on something that I would have really enjoyed. So yeah, I got a ticket for myself. And I am glad I did.

It was awesome..  We jumped, played trampoline basketball (and yes I dunked), trampolined into a foam pit, which is much harder to get out of than these kids make it out to be.. In 3 minutes I was only able to jump in twice. It's common sense that when you jump in feet first your feet are under all the foam blocks. But when you try to pick them up so you can get out the foam blocks stick to your socks and the socks fall off. So you have to then grab the sock and continue to try to get out. It was pretty discouraging really. And then we played a few games of trampoline dodge ball which is about as much fun as it sounds.. 

However I know my limitations (I'm not a huge fan of roller coasters, big drops, etc), but these kids have no fear.. Flips and all.. The boys were even jumping on to the wall, which of course was also a trampoline and it looked like they were stopping or pausing while their feet were on the wall and then they'd just jump off back onto the trampoline like they had done it a million times.. I'm pretty sure one of my kids is going to take up Parkour pretty soon.. If you don't know what that is, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihBoqdOsQOo 

And they are also obsessed with American Ninja Warrior, which is a really cool show if you've never seen it.

It was fun to watch them but also fun to be in the middle of it with them.. And when we were waiting in line they asked if I was going to jump with them. I said yes and they were overjoyed.. I love making them happy.. And it makes me happy to know they enjoy spending time with me too..

So if you are able, the next time your kids are experiencing something new or are at a place where parents can participate, do me a favor: Put down the phone and experience WITH your kids.. It's a whole new perspective.. And even though we know parenting is and always will be hard work, it doesn't mean we can't have fun too.

Spontaneity

The real triumph of this blog post is that I actually spelled the word spontaneity without looking it up first.. I am more than mildly impressed with myself..  And yes, that is about what my life has come to right now and yes, it is sad.. But I digress.. 

This past July 4th (well July 3rd if you want to get technical) we packed up the bag and took the boys to the nearby lake for the fireworks. Right at the beach area they had a band playing, carnival games, food trucks, etc.. A very festive atmosphere. However we learned the hard way last year that being that close to the water meant the louder the fireworks. So we decided to stake out a piece of grass on fields across the street near the high school. This area was much less crowded, the boys could run around and get out all of their energy and it was far enough away from the fire works where it shouldn't be a problem. I remembered the chairs and the blanket and the food/drinks, but forgot the football. And the cards. And the stomp rockets. All the planning I had done thinking it was going to be a few hours that we were there until the fireworks started was all for naught. Crap, now what?

Spontaneity, that's what. Instead of playing cards or throwing around the football, we had the boys do wind sprints and burpees. Then, they went over to the blocking sled used by the town football team (I think) and tried to move it. That was classic. Clearly these two activities did not take up too much time so we went over to the beach area for some games and fun. But there was a lot of time left to kill.

Soon enough, more families started settling in. And before I knew it, the boys were off playing with kids they didn't know on a dirty, dusty baseball diamond. Within 5 minutes they had made up their own game and played it non stop for about an hour and a half. Not only did this entertain the boys for the majority of the time we had before the fireworks, but they had fun, got a lot of energy out as 6 year old boys often have and they met some new friends.

So, what I learned is that all the planning in the world sometimes can't make up for spontaneity. Sometimes you need to just let them explore, meet new kids and make friends, create their own games and have fun. It worked out better than I could have imagined.

Oh, and in case you were wondering the fireworks hadn't been going for more than 3 minutes before they were crying they were too loud so we left.  Hey, at least we beat the traffic home.

Reading Is Fun

I've been telling my kids since I felt they could comprehend it, "If you can read, you can do anything". It's true. Think about it. Back during slavery, they wouldn't allow the slaves to have access to books or learn to read for fear they would become educated. It was a way of keeping control. So I explain to them, "if you can read, you can do anything".

Well they are six now and while we've been working hard with them, reading to them forever as well as working with them on spelling, sounding out words, etc, you can't push it. If you push it, they can become frustrated and shut down. Then they'll see it as more of a chore and not learn to enjoy reading. As a parent or as anyone who is teaching someone something, you really have to walk that fine line of knowing when to push someone and when to back off.

Well, it turns out that Mitch can read. We'd be walking in a store and he would just point to a sign and read it. Or we'd be at the kitchen table and he would point to a magazine and read a few words. Turns out, that while at parent teacher conferences a little ways back, his teacher gave us a list of words each Kindergartner should know by the end of the school year. He knows them all. I'm not saying he's reading novels or anything, but this is a child who hasn't exactly done things on what we would call the "normal" timetable. He never crawled. He didn't walk until he was 19 months old. He was about 6 before being fully potty-trained. Granted the kid has had it a little rough, so we were thinking more often than not he would do whatever it was at his own pace.  Well, I'm glad if something was relatively accelerated, it was this.

And he's excited about it too. A new book from school every week and he's excited to read it at night. We get them both new books all the time and they make it part of their routine before going to sleep to make sure we read at least 1 book. And, now that Mitch is doing well reading and how much praise he's getting, Max is starting to step up his game.

So hopefully, perhaps by the end of the calendar year they'll be reading books to us instead of the other way around. And once that happens, it's a whole new world.

Update: I wrote this awhile ago and never posted it. Since then, Max is definitely better at reading, but just shy about reading out loud. Mitch however will read out loud to himself or to anyone. He'll read anything including magazines, shopping circulars, it doesn't matter. He actually calms down at night but taking out his flashlight and reading a book to himself, out loud before going to bed. I couldn't be more proud.

I Got This..

It's a simple phrase really..  I got this.. It could mean many things..  It could mean someone taking care of a meal.. It could mean someone grabbing a round of beers.. Or it could mean that you'll handle something and don't worry about it..  All relatively common uses for the phrase, but when it comes out of your six year old, time to step on the brakes and pull a George Costanza:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d0uUFw5ggM

So recently we had another common occurrence, a separated birthday party..  Meaning, one twin was invited because it was a classmate of his and the other was not invited because more than likely the birthday girl doesn't even know he has a brother, much less a twin. And we're totally fine with this. In fact, we even like it. The reason is because it gives us a rare opportunity to have some one on one time.

It's at the movies and is a drop off birthday party (a whole new world for us). Mitch is the only boy out of about 10 girls. As my wife relayed the story to me, his parting words were "Don't worry mom; I got this".

Oh crap..

My 6 year old is telling my wife "I got this"? I'm not ready for this..  Granted this is the child that is much more independent. Although he still doesn't like to go upstairs when no one is up there, he's much more apt to play alone than need someone to play with him. And he's getting better..

But if at 6 he feels no fear heading into a birthday party full of 10 girls, what else will he feel no fear about?

First day of Junior High, the beginning of potentially the most awkward 2 years of any boys' life?  Don't worry, I got this.

First day of High School?  Don't worry, I got this.

That big game?  Don't worry coach, I got this.

First day of college?  Don't worry, I got this.

First big presentation at work? Don't worry boss, I got this.

We overtly want our children to be independent so they do not have to rely on us for everything.. However, we covertly wish they would stay young and innocent forever. Maybe that way we wouldn't have to hear the words "Don't worry, I got this". As Dr. Seuss so aptly put it, "Kid, you'll move mountains!"

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Well, technically it was Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.. A seemingly innocuous ritual for little kids is going to see the monster trucks.. Somehow this ritual seemed to have eluded me in my childhood, but not to fear, I have 2 boys!  So off we went to see the Monster Trucks on Saturday.

Our seats were great, however it was so loud! Of course the boys had noise canceling headphones, but it was still loud.. I wish I had a pair! It was cool for the boys to see the monster trucks they  had essentially come to life, but I think the better response was with the Motocross bikers doing tricks, flips, etc..

Overall, it was very cool and a lot of fun, especially when a marriage proposal on the jumbotron captured the Kraken and me sitting right next to them (across the aisle)! http://instagram.com/p/kc4ruCj_Ww/

But the Kraken had had enough towards the end.. It was just too loud for him.. So we went out to the concourse where while it wasn't as loud, it was still pretty loud.. Loud enough that he kept his headphones on. While on the concourse I ran in to my friend Josh Hoch who was with his two little ones and his brother in law. We talked for a bit and both commented on how loud it was. I said I couldn't believe how many kids in there, especially little ones that didn't have ear protection. And he said it should be mandatory. Hmm..

With the roads as they were Saturday night, I did not think about it during our 3 hour trip back from Worcester that should have normally taken about 1 hour. However for the rest of the weekend I did think about it. I'm not a big "mandatory" or "force things on people" kind of person, but when you think about how children are still developing everything at this young age, ear protection at an event like this would be the intelligent thing to do. It can't be up to the child as they are not old enough know for the most part. If it is within their control, it is the parent's responsibility to ensure their child is protected.

I recently took the Twinado ice skating for the first time. Now I grew up in the 80s where not only did we not wear bike helmets, but our parents had no idea where the hell we were for a good 10 hours during the day. They said go play outside and I'll yell for you to come home for dinner. If we came home for lunch then we came home for lunch.. Otherwise, when you heard your mom's very distinctive yell or saw the street lights come on, you knew it was time to go home.. And you went home. If you fell off your bike and skinned your knee, elbow, etc you could go home for some treatment. Then it was right back out there. I also had very large backyard when I was growing up and part of it was woods, so in the winter we would go skating. Lots of downed trees and ponds on the property. We never wore helmets and we didn't even wear skates. Just sneakers. Did we fall down sometimes?  Yup. And did we even fall in sometimes? Yup.

All of that aside however, I did not hesitate one second to make sure I put their bike helmets in the car so I wouldn't forget to bring them skating. They had no issues wearing them as they just think this is what you do. And man am I glad they had them on. Within 5 minutes of skating, the Kraken took a spill and hit his head on the ice. With the helmet, he's back up and skating within 30 seconds.. Without the helmet, we're more than likely at the ER facing a concussion, possible stitches and who knows what else. And later, this little shit thinking he's the next NHL star (which he won't be because he fell more than we did) totally takes us out as we're all holding hands skating.. So again, the helmet saved them. For those curious, no I did not fall.  :)

I am curious though what people think about this topic. What do people think about helmets in general? Should they be mandatory for everyone riding a bike, ice skating, etc or just kids?  If just kids, for what ages?  Under 18? 13? What would be the cut off? What about the headphones or at the very least something to cover their ears while at an event such as the Monster Trucks? Should those be mandatory for everyone? Just kids? Should they be maybe included in the price of the ticket and given out at the event?

Let me know your thoughts. Post them on my FaceBook at www.facebook.com/ben.thaler.9 and on Twitter @bdthaler or @TwinsOfAnarchy

Müzik, Μουσική, Musiikki

It doesn't matter what language you say it in, whether it be Turkish, Greek or Finnish, I truly believe that music has magical properties.. The type of music is also irrelevant, it just needs to be the type of music that appeals to you. Whether it's listening to Enya while you have a migraine (I know someone who does that) or listening to heavy metal while you study (I know people who did that too) there's something about music that resonates with everyone.

Think about your life. When a song comes on the radio many people have an association with an event, a person or something in their life that is traced back to that song. It could have been that first dance at your middle school dance or the popular song that summer you lived in the city or your wedding song or even that time on that college road trip when.. hmm, better leave that one out..

But you get the point. Music has that ability to somehow transcend the aural and manages to connect directly to your emotions. And that is what I am hoping happens with boys. At a very early age we wanted to make sure they listened to music. (You can listen to Jimi, but you can't hear him- White Men Can't Jump, anyone?) Ok, moving on..

They had the mobiles in their cribs when they were babies, until one of them tore it down and that was the end of that one. But we then discovered Rock A Bye Baby, which is rock music of all different bands (Foo Fighters, Nirvana, Green Day, U2, Zeppelin, Beatles, etc) all played like lullaby's. It is very cool, very soothing and they liked it a lot as did we. They still listen to it to this day.

But we also said to ourselves that we will not be beholden to the kids music when we're driving. I'll admit, we had the 40th Anniversary CD's of Sesame Street and we would listen to them in the car. The boys liked it and calmed them down on long road trips. It was also nostalgic for us hearing the songs that we remember from watching Sesame Street as kids. (See, it all comes back to music association) But when they were old enough, we started making them listen to our music. Hey, if we were going to be in the car with them for a while and they could keep themselves busy by looking out the window and playing games, we were going to listen to what we wanted. So they started enjoying some of our music.

I go old school and make them mix CD's. I have an ipod which I could create playlists, but it's not connecting in my car for some reason so it's just easier this way.. Plus, the boys look forward to when daddy creates a new CD..

I've made 4 or 5 of them. While there are still a few of the artists below that they haven't heard yet, here is a list of the artists that have been on these mix CD's:

Green Day, Foo Fighters, Dropkick Murphy's, John Cougar, AFI, Incubus, Dazz Band, Dave Matthews Band, Big & Rich, Of Monsters & Men, The Police, Beastie Boys, Airborne Toxic Event, The Beatles, Elvis, Cheap Trick, Fratellis, The Libertines, Imagine Dragons, Zeppelin, Toby Keith, The Black Crowes, Ben E. King, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, Run DMC, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Tears For Fears, Clapton, The Lumineers, Metallica, Van Halen, Neon Trees, Puscifer, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Twisted Sister, Queen, Black Keys, MGMT, ACDC, Nirvana, KISS, The Ramones, Bruno Mars, Blues Traveler, Lynyrd Skynyrd, REM, Talking Heads, Blur.

Now obviously some of these artists have a particular popular song that is more than likely the song I put on the CD. But others are not what you may think. It was not always the popular song for a well known band we played for them. We want them to appreciate the band/artist for their music and not just have them know the "popular, mainstream" song for which the band may be known. But the goal here, as you can see is to broaden their musical horizons with old, new, blues, rock, alternative, rap, 80s, punk and everything in between. Just giving them a taste of whatever we can find and see what they like and don't like. They are really taking it all in and want more. They're kind of like Neo with the training simulation in The Matrix.

My ultimate goal with this project? That "a-ha" moment. We've all seen those Top 100 "Fill in the Blank" shows on VH1 or some network that counts down the top 100 greatest rock songs or guitar riffs, etc. There's invariably one critic or artist that says "I remember the first time I heard _____. I said to myself, what the hell is that?" I want at least one, if not both of my kids to have that kind of moment when they hear something.. Whether it be a guitar riff, a song or drum solo, it doesn't matter.. It will make it all worthwhile.

PS - It happened. With the Kraken. And Metallica. Is anyone really that surprised?

Take a Breath

You know that feeling.. It's been a long day..  You've been up since early in the morning, the commute sucked, your day was long dealing with, well people in general.. Your commute home sucked. The kids were wild at dinnertime, the bath was awful and it took all your energy just to get them into bed.

You've finally had a chance to eat dinner and maybe catch up on some TV, a chapter in your book or some quality time with the pup.. But now it's time to get ready for bed and while brushing your teeth what do you see?  Yup, the door opening and your child is coming into the bathroom when they should be asleep..

After a day like you've had the first instinct may be to yell or say "what are you doing out of bed" at a not so quiet level.

But take my advice and take a breath. It's not an easy thing to do, but may be worthwhile.

See a few weeks ago while checking in on the Twinado I accidentally slammed the door.. The windows were open and as you may know it doesn't take much for the door to slam quickly if the windows are open. I cringed and waited a minute to see if anyone woke up and I didn't hear anything so I left.

But there he was, standing there at the door so I just said "what's wrong"? All he wanted to do was hug me. So I got down to the floor and he gave me a big hug, then turned around and slammed the door in my face. Just a little payback for slamming the door while he was asleep. Basically saying I still love you daddy, but I'm slamming the door back at your for waking me up.  Little shit..

Parent Teacher Conferences?

Did I really just come back from my 6 year old's parent teacher conference?  It was a pretty surreal experience.

I recall being that age and my parents going to my teacher conferences.. Of course these were at night and the one I went to was in the middle of the afternoon, but let that go..

My parents would get a babysitter for my sister and me and they would go to the school.. Then they'd come home and report back to us what our teacher said and what we had to work on and what we were doing well. Of course they would always have glowing reports from my teachers because I never did anything wrong.

It is a little weird to hear all about your child from someone who spends more time with them overall than you do. Unfortunately, that's just the way it is. But we try to have conversations with them about what they did during the day. They're getting better, but they usually go something like this:

Me: So, tell me about your day? (Anyone who has read one of those Pigeon books must be laughing)

TofA: It was good.

Me: What did you do?

TofA: Stuff

But after the conferences I am 100% confident both boys are in very good hands.

However, next year I am dreading that first grade homework!

Casual 5

Can a 5 year old be casual? Don't get me wrong, Douglas is definitely a 5 year old.. Still throws tantrums sometimes (not ok), can't go to bed without a hug and a kiss (always ok) and is lacking in the "trying new foods" department, although he is getting better.

But honestly, he's more like a teenager. He's very casual in his movements. He's got teenager tendencies.. For example, we'll go in to tuck them in and see him just laying there with his hands clasped behind his head while sleeping.  He'll even do that while sitting on the couch. He's also eating us out of house and home yet the kid weighs only 37 pounds.. I swear I have no idea where it goes!

He is very, very funny..  Fresh, but funny.. With that devious type of smile you know something is going on in that evil genius head of his that can't be good. Yet you have to laugh because he is so funny.  He's also very comfortable. And while many teenagers are uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, there are still many that are. And he is very comfortable in who he is, what he wants and when he wants it. He does things on his own terms and doesn't let many things dictate otherwise. I like these traits.

But if this is how he is at 5, oh man what is he going to be like when he really is a teenager?

1st Day of Camp

So today was the first day of camp. Since the 1st week of January, 2008 the Twinado has always gone to the same daycare a minimum of 3 times a week, sometimes even 4. During the summer it turns into a de facto camp, but it's limited to certain activities on a smaller scale due to space. But since our move, the hour and a half drive (each way plus another 45 each way to and from work) 3 times a week to bring them to school for the past 5 weeks has been a major strain on my car and my stress level.

It is now almost 5 1/2 years later and today, they start camp. Much closer to the house. The Twinado definitely inherited my sleeping habits (thankfully) but due to that they aren't the easiest to get up in the morning. Not so today. Right out of bed and dressed and downstairs for breakfast. After breakfast, upstairs to brush their teeth and backpacks on. Normally this would be fantastic, but it was only 720a and the bus wasn't coming until 810a!  However, as I always tell them "early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable." So I will never say being ready 50 minutes early is a bad thing (especially when we have Kindergarten coming in the fall). Oy, seriously?

As we rocked out to a little ACDC and Incubus while waiting for the bus, I had to make sure they had sunscreen on before getting on the bus. So I brought them out around 8a to spray them down. Then, a few minutes after finishing, the bus came and they were so excited!!  Ever since they learned what a yellow school bus was, they have wanted to go on one. It was literally a dream come true for them.

Douglas, being the little guy he is needed some help reaching the first step of the bus. But the bus counselors were great and helped him on and got them to their seats. As we're waiting for the bus to leave, a mother who was there sending her son off asked me if they were twins and I said yes.. First time at camp?  Yes.. She also admitted they were watching me spray the boys down and were flabbergasted at how jacked Douglas was (her word, not mine).  Yeah well, HGH will do that to a kid, but I just said thanks.. Also not the first time that word has been used to describe him.

She also said her son was curious about the sunscreen because after rubbing it in on their heads (gotta protect the top of the head if there is no hat), ears and face, my hands were going to be all sticky and gross. He was interested to know what I would do and that was when I busted out the bottle of water and shirt from my car to wash them off..  This is not my first rodeo, kid.. I got this shit down..

Of course the Twinado was not on the bus for more than 5 minutes when the bus counselor had to come off and talk to me. Here's how the conversation went:

Bus Counselor: "So you're the twins' dad right?
Me: "Yes".
Bus Counselor: "I asked them if they knew what group they were in and they said no". (Even though we went over it this morning). "So I asked them if they thought their daddy would know and I just got a shoulder shrug".
Me: "Poodles. They're in Poodles."
Bus Counselor: "OK, thanks!"

As the bus pulled away and I'm dreading my still hour long commute, I'm reminded of where they started from 5 and a half years ago when I dropped them off at daycare for the first time and where they are today. It's amazing and exciting and man I hope the the camp is still standing by the end of the week.

Blank Slate

For lack of a better term, kids are blank slates. They may have some innate talent or intelligence passed down that is hereditary, but otherwise, pretty much blank slates.

We can make these children into anything we want them to be. We can teach them manners, or we can teach them to be rude. We can teach them to read so they can learn, or we can teach them to watch TV so they can zone out. We can teach them to try new foods and expand their taste buds, or we can just feed them processed food which is bad for them, but we know they like just so they eat.

Whitney Houston had it right when she said that the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Jesus, did I just quote Whitney Houston from memory?  Ugh, don't worry I'll show myself out of man town.

But seriously, when our kids grow up, they are going to be the next leaders of our country. The next teachers, the next architects, the next programmers, the next pro athletes, the next everything. So don't we want to give them the best head start we can?

I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Nothing worth doing ever is. To quote one of my favorite movies, Road Trip: "That's why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy, it would just be the way". Don't take any shortcuts. it'll be worth it in the end.

Prodigy

Everyone thinks their kid is a prodigy of something.. Whether they can hit a golf ball at 2 (my son is the next Tiger Woods) or they can write their name at 3 (they're going to become the next great author), and so on and so forth.

Truth is, prodigal-type talent is mostly inherited. I have no concrete data to back that up, but just indulge me here. My guess is the reason Jason Bonham is such a kick ass drummer is because his father was such a kick ass drummer. And when you are around that type of environment when you are growing up, the part of you that inherited it comes out if fostered correctly. That doesn't mean that kids who don't have John Bonham as their father won't grow up to be amazing drummers, it just helps a little bit..

But don't worry if your child isn't exhibiting signs of being a prodigy of athletics, mathematics, science or anything for that matter. Sometimes a kid is just a kid. The majority of them are. I took the Twinado bowling by myself this Sat morning and then we spent a few hours outside at the playground, the soccer field and the track. Man, were they pooped! (and so was I). They got great exercise on a gorgeous early spring day and now they are relaxing because they are tired. Sometimes I think we push our kids too hard because it's important to have them try so many different things to figure out what they like and what the don't.

Sometimes we just need to let them be kids and I think they'll figure that out all in good time.

Oh, by the way, this is prodigy drummer I recently saw on the interwebs.. He's 6.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=g1qg9myFCqw

Where Were You

There are those moments for all of us. Some are personal and some are local, national and even global.

For people who remember, they know where they were when JFK was shot. (Way before my time). They know where they were when the Challenger exploded. (I was in my classroom having recess because my teacher for whatever reason wouldn't let us watch. Another student barged in and told us what happened). They know where they were when 9/11 happened. (I was at work and when told that a plane had hit the WTC, I asked NY or Boston because I knew my mother in law worked at the one in Boston).

But if we think about the ages that we were when certain life events occur, we don't remember much when we're young. I was 10 for the Challenger so I remember that. But I don't remember the Iranian hostage crisis as I was only 3. I don't remember Reagan or Lennon getting shot as I was only 4.

I've struggled going back and forth on whether or not to expose my kids to some of the horrors that are happening in today's very screwed up world. They do not know, to the best of my knowledge about the shooting at Sandy Hook. All I did was come home that night and hug them as tightly as I could. And we snuggled for a long time before they went to sleep. We have never talked about it.

As for yesterday, I don't believe they know either. The TV was definitely on while they were eating dinner, but they did not pay attention. They did not ask what happened, nor did I offer it up. Even though my son had someone running in the marathon for him as part of the Miles for Miracles program with Boston Children's Hospital, he still did not ask. We had been there at the finish line just 48 hour earlier.

Do I show them the video? Do I then teach them about what true evil looks like? Do I save their innocence, even if it's just for 1 day until the next evil comes along in some other form?

I brought them into work with me today. Really for no other reason than just to be with them. It seemed like a good day to do it. We had lunch together in the kitchen. They drew me pictures. It was nice.

My guess is in the future they would not remember what happened yesterday as they are only 5. And even if they did remember, they may not be able to process it completely now so their memory of it would be faint at best.

I think I'll leave it alone and hopefully they'll never know what evil really is.

Be Prone

As in, get on the floor..  See things from their perspective. Babies love eye contact.

No, of course you're not going to fit on their play mat when they are 3 months old, but there's nothing wrong with getting on the floor and playing with them and their toys.

Explosion!

Not sure how many people that are reading this watch How I Met Your Mother, but recently there was an episode where Marshall and Lilly's son Marvin had a huge poop explosion. Anyone who is a parent has probably had this happen. My story is a little different.

The boys were still in the NICU at Brigham and Women's and we were spending one of the many Sunday's we spent at the hospital in the fall of 2007. They had finally been moved to NICU A, which was a step up from NICU B. It meant they weren't as critical which is always a good thing. There was also a little more room as there weren't as many isolettes.

They were still very young, about 8 weeks old or so I would guess (my memory of that time is a little fuzzy). Amy was over hanging out with Daniel and I was with Douglas. And of course, as luck would have it, it was time to change him. So of course I get everything prepared and open up the isolette. Now that they were in NICU A we didn't have to reach through these holes anymore. We could actually just open up the side of the isolette and put our whole arms in which was nice.

So I had everything prepared for the changing. I had the new diaper under the old one, wipes next to me all set to go. Now at this point, they weren't even in regular diapers. They were in these things called wee-pees. I'm not joking, they were so small because they boys were only about 4 pounds or so each, their bodies would have just been swallowed by a regular diaper. So I take off the tabs on the sides of the dirty diaper and lift up his legs to remove and.......

SSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!

That is my best attempt at onomatopoeia.. He unloaded this vile, green and brown fecal matter everywhere and it just wouldn't stop!! I mean all over my arm, the floor, the entire isolette, the wires, the monitor that was monitoring his heart rate, BP, O2 levels, etc.. Literally everywhere it could possibly be, it was.. So I'm standing there with poop all over the place trying not to yell for someone to help because you need to keep your voices down while in the NICU.. So I'm yelling at the highest level I can, which is about a normal talking level..  nurse...  Nurse..  NURSE!!  Finally I just couldn't deal anymore and a nurse came over and immediately doubled over in laughter..  Yeah, real funny.. although, I'm sure it had happened to her before which is probably why she was laughing.. She knew what it felt like..

So a janitor was called to clean up the floor and take the isolette away and have it hosed down..  Douglas had a quick bath while a new isolette was retrieved and set up.  I cleaned up, but we left shortly thereafter.

Let's just say, we made sure there was always a nurse around every time we changed him from then on.

Looking on the bright side, changing diapers for many years for two boys, I was never ever once peed on. So I have that going for me.