I Got This..

It's a simple phrase really..  I got this.. It could mean many things..  It could mean someone taking care of a meal.. It could mean someone grabbing a round of beers.. Or it could mean that you'll handle something and don't worry about it..  All relatively common uses for the phrase, but when it comes out of your six year old, time to step on the brakes and pull a George Costanza:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d0uUFw5ggM

So recently we had another common occurrence, a separated birthday party..  Meaning, one twin was invited because it was a classmate of his and the other was not invited because more than likely the birthday girl doesn't even know he has a brother, much less a twin. And we're totally fine with this. In fact, we even like it. The reason is because it gives us a rare opportunity to have some one on one time.

It's at the movies and is a drop off birthday party (a whole new world for us). Mitch is the only boy out of about 10 girls. As my wife relayed the story to me, his parting words were "Don't worry mom; I got this".

Oh crap..

My 6 year old is telling my wife "I got this"? I'm not ready for this..  Granted this is the child that is much more independent. Although he still doesn't like to go upstairs when no one is up there, he's much more apt to play alone than need someone to play with him. And he's getting better..

But if at 6 he feels no fear heading into a birthday party full of 10 girls, what else will he feel no fear about?

First day of Junior High, the beginning of potentially the most awkward 2 years of any boys' life?  Don't worry, I got this.

First day of High School?  Don't worry, I got this.

That big game?  Don't worry coach, I got this.

First day of college?  Don't worry, I got this.

First big presentation at work? Don't worry boss, I got this.

We overtly want our children to be independent so they do not have to rely on us for everything.. However, we covertly wish they would stay young and innocent forever. Maybe that way we wouldn't have to hear the words "Don't worry, I got this". As Dr. Seuss so aptly put it, "Kid, you'll move mountains!"

The Doppler Effect

So the Doppler Effect, in lieu of an official definition is the change in volume of a noise you hear that gets louder and louder as it gets closer and closer and then gets more faint as it gets farther away from you.

I equate this to raising kids.. Everything just gets louder and louder as your kids grow up. And then suddenly there will be a point in which it starts to get quieter. You don't realize what the mid-way point is until it's too late. Your kids won't need you as much for things anymore. And pretty soon, the house is quiet. No more fighting. No more yelling. No more anything. You long for those days of building forts on a rainy day, reading them books before bedtime or even just snuggling in on family movie night (which I highly suggest by the way). We're also trying to institute family game night as a regular occurrence. Both have been big hits.

I work from home once a week and a few weeks ago I am suddenly approached by two masked superheroes, although the masks aren't plastic or fabric masks. They are marker masks. Yes, they drew masks on each others faces..  (This is why we only have washable markers in the house). I didn't get mad. I laughed as it was pretty funny. They did a good job too! (not sure what the shin guards are all about though).

My point is that maybe they have careers as artists, or maybe not.. But being a kid is all about trying new things.. and we need to make sure we document all of these. We need to chronicle these things that they do. Because what else are we going to use to embarrass them later on?!

The Day

For anyone who knows me, I have pretty much been the same weight since I graduated college..  There was this uptick of about 10 pounds my senior year from 150 to 160, but I honestly have no idea why.. Must have just been a fluke; you know, one of those things..

Anyway, I've been hovering around 150 for the better part of almost 15 years now (ugh, has it really been almost 15 years since I graduated college?) and I've been able to eat pretty much anything I wanted.. It's a gift you know?  It's like I can't control it. (Anyone who's seen The Girl Next Door knows that line). My metabolism, thanks to my grandfather, helped me out with that..  Truth be told, I've always been pretty active, but I've slowed down a bit in recent years.. With a full time job and the Twinado, my nights of playing indoor soccer have disappeared and my days of pick up hoop games with friends have waned into non-existence. Don't get me wrong, chasing the boys around, playing at the park with them or even taking the dog for a walk is good exercise, just not to the level I'm used to.

However I had an epiphany recently, or maybe it was a hallucination from the excruciating pain I was feeling while enduring my third kidney stone in the last 8 years.. I have no idea why God picked me to have these, but oh I am so thankful!! I used to think that you're never given anything you can't handle (see previous blogs), but seriously this isn't even funny.  My first one was in 2004 when living in Smallbany, NY. I would write a blog about that, but we weren't even there long enough for anything interesting to happen.. Oh, except for all of our belongings being stolen by the movers, but that's another blog for another day I guess..

It was in the middle of the night and it was pain unlike I had ever experienced before.. I had never really had any type of pain experience like that so I wasn't sure what to expect.  Of course, Amy wasn't feeling well that night so she had taken the red devil (NyQuil) so she could sleep.  So there she is in her NyQuil coma and I am writhing around in pain on the floor thinking something is going to burst through my side like in Alien (yes, I know, that was his chest but your kidney's aren't in your chest now are they?) 

Thankfully my wailing eventually woke her with obviously no clue as to what was happening.  Not knowing the area too well, or really what was going on, 911 was the best course of action.  While the ambulance is on its way I thought I could make it to the door.  It is the middle of the night, in February, in Albany so it's not exactly balmy out. Somehow I have clothes on when the paramedics arrive.  I thought I could crawl the length of the hallway from our bedroom in the back of the apartment to the front door, which in retrospect isn't that long, but seemed like one of those never-ending hallways.  Well, I didn't make it.. I collapsed somewhere between the end of our bedroom and the beginning of the kitchen, which was probably a total of 5 feet.  They had to put me on one of those chairs that keeps you in a tuck position because the pain of having to straighten my body was unbearable. Amy followed along in her car while the ambulance drove to the hospital which was about 5-10 minutes away. I do remember them hooking me up to the IV and giving me morphine for the pain.  I remember them saying " OK 5 cc's of morphine" and administering it.  Then they ask you, if you've never been in an ER or ambulance for a pain-related emergency, "describe the pain from 1-10?"  So I said 20!  OK, I'll let you in on a little secret here.. I don't deal with pain well.. I mean, a cut on my finger, or s stub on the toe, big deal.. but real, actual pain?  Nope..  So they gave me another 5 cc's of morphine. After a minute or two, they asked me again and I think I said 15.  So yes, they gave me 5 more cc's of morphine and then I was floating.  I was done. No more pain.  No more anything really..  The relief was the best thing I had ever felt..  Until it wore off at some point in the hospital so they gave me a prescription for Vicodin. While at CVS filling my prescription for Vicodin, the pharmacist asked me what it was for as it was heavy medication.  I told her it was for a kidney stone and she said, and I quote" I have had 3 children by vaginal birth and I have had 1 kidney stone.  I would gladly have 3 more children by vaginal birth than have another kidney stone." Fan-tas-tic.  Now make with the Vicodin before the one I took wears of..  

Unfortunately, I did not pass it so I had to sit on the couch for a few days and in between popping Vicodin drink those 24 oz sport bottles of Poland Spring and pee every 5 minutes into a strainer to hopefully pass a stone that was about half the size of a grain of rice, if that..  Tons of fun let me tell you..

The second one, of course in the middle of the night again was not as bad as before the ambulance even arrived I was already starting to feel better.. It didn't mean I wasn't in pain and didn't gladly accept the morphine they were giving me, it just didn't hurt as much for as long the second time. However, circumstances had changed because we had 2 very young children and in the middle of the night, it just wasn't going to be possible to have Amy and the boys follow me.  So after I was released, the ER called me a cab and yes, I took a cab home from the hospital. Only, I didn't have any money and had to plead with the guy to take me home explaining my situation.  I was praying that we had some cash at home to give him and thankfully, we had just enough.  Sorry dude, no tip this time.. Maybe next time..

And yes, there was a next time.. For the kidney stone, not the cab thankfully..  But of course, the middle of the night (there has to be something to this) and there it is again.. Agony.. After already having had two of them, I knew exactly what the pain was. So we pack up the boys in the car and drive to the ER. Toridal and Dilaudid this time around, which did the trick.. We were only there for a few hours and still was able to get a few more hours sleep on Saturday morning..  However, we were planning on going with some friends to Davis Farmland which had already been postponed once for the weather.  It was the boys' birthday weekend and I didn't want to miss it.  So I perc'd up and it was pretty fun actually.. 

 
So, the real point of this blog (if you're still reading) is that for the first time in my life, I'm on a diet.Well, it's not really a diet I guess, just trying to cut sodium.  You would not believe the sodium content in some things.. I'm not saying that too much sodium will kill you, but there are lots of things that we eat that can have lasting effects on our health  I'm not here to preach don't worry.  But my point is in addition to the fact I have no want at all to relive the pain of another kidney stone, I do have the want to see my sons grow up. . These last 5 years have totally changed me. But it doesn't have to be just kids. It can be parents, grandparents, siblings, grandchildren, whomever.  It doesn't matter who as long as it's someone. I'm not saying don't enjoy life, I'm just saying make sure you make it last a long time. And while I don't want to go too crazy, I will if I have to.  Because I think it's worth it.

Used Car Amenities

So a long time ago, somewhere around 1998 I graduated college..  I had gotten a job and needed a car.  However, not just any car.  I didn't want another used car with those used car amenities.  I wanted a new car.  You know, one that started when you turned the key and and when you turned on the AC cold air blew in instead of hot air..  I was stupid as all college graduates really are and I got a car with "new car amenities"..

However one thing I still could not have, regardless of the car I bought was the ability to listen to a song anytime I wanted.  Or, better yet, be able to see what the song title was and who was singing it.  I mean, that was futuristic stuff in the late 90s!  (This was just starting to come out and was a top option in available models)

Fast forward 14 years and we have satellite radio, ipods and in many cars the text button.  Press this and on some stations it will tell you what song is playing and who the artist is.  This feature is standard for my children.  They will never know what it is like not to know the title and/or artist of the song currently playing.  And, for some reason if you are not blessed with this feature, yup there's an app for that.  I have an app on my phone as a lot of people do where if you launch it and hold it up to the speaker, it will not only tell you what the name of the song is and who is singing it, but the title of the album, it will scroll the lyrics for you and you can also download the song to your itunes with the touch of a button.  And, if you are so inclined to want to tell people what you are listening to, you can post it to Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.  Crazy..  I love it.

But I feel like the boys are missing out.  They'll never know what it's like only to have 5 or 6 channels.  They'll never know what it's like to actually BE the remote control for someone (raise your hand if you ever sat close to the TV for the sole purpose of being close enough so when your parent or older sibling told you to change the channel, you didn't have to move that much).  Keep em up.. That's right..

They'll never know what it's like to think "Argh, I forgot to set the VCR"!  Or worse, you remembered to set the VCR, but forgot to rewind the tape!  now not only do many people have DVR's, but you can set it from a computer and even your phone!  They'll never know what it's like to sit in front of your boombox for half an hour because the DJ said that coming up was your favorite song.  And while you're waiting you set up the cassette in the boombox all ready to hit play and record together so you can record your favorite song.  And then when you want to play it, you can just hit rewind and then stop.  Then play.  Realize you still have about half the song to go and then rewind some more, stop.  Play. Almost there.  Rewind and stop.  Play.  Rewind stop!  Rewind stop!  Yeah you remember doing that..

Now my 4 year olds just go to the ipod, hit itunes and play (they even have their own playlist of songs and artists they like).  For example, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys and Green Day are in heavy rotation. Or, take the ipad, turn on Pandora, choose a station and hit play.  When they want to watch something?  On mand (On Demand to the rest of us).  For other shows and movies not on mand?  Sure, why not.  There's Netflix. Hit a few buttons on the remote and there you go!  Instant Gratification.

I have a feeling that on the way to school on Tuesday, I just might not tell them who is singing the song on the radio.  I gotta have a little fun right?

Clown College

Took the boys to the circus recently.  It is simply amazing the crap that they sell there, and what's even more amazing is the amount they charge for it!  I will admit, I bought the boys these plastic cups with circus animals on them and they light up.  They were just really big sno-cones.  (FYI, the cups are still blinking, I think there is a date with the dumpster coming soon).  It was just to stop the whining..  Like in Clue when Mr. Green (Michael McKeon) slaps Mrs. Peacock (Eileen Brennan) across the face and says the famous line "well I had to stop her from screaming!"  Well I decided against the slapping (they kinda frown upon that) and just bought the sno-cones..  It worked.

Anyway, I never really went to the circus as a kid, not that I remember anyway.. So I believe this was only my second time there (my first being last year).  My initial reaction last year was that there weren't as many animals as I had expected.  And this year, there were even less. It's more of a Cirque Du Soliel show now than a circus.  Trapeze artists, people hanging from the ceiling, people doing amazing stunts..  And then they mix in some elephants and lions..  But overall it was very cool..  The boys seemed to like it.  Mitch was much more engaged this time than he was last year.  It could be the age, they could be more mature, or perhaps he's interested in becoming a clown.  And based on the rising costs of college tuition and what it's projected to be in 2024 when he's about to go (ugh, I did really just type that?) I wonder..  do they give scholarships for Clown College?