Prodigy

Everyone thinks their kid is a prodigy of something.. Whether they can hit a golf ball at 2 (my son is the next Tiger Woods) or they can write their name at 3 (they're going to become the next great author), and so on and so forth.

Truth is, prodigal-type talent is mostly inherited. I have no concrete data to back that up, but just indulge me here. My guess is the reason Jason Bonham is such a kick ass drummer is because his father was such a kick ass drummer. And when you are around that type of environment when you are growing up, the part of you that inherited it comes out if fostered correctly. That doesn't mean that kids who don't have John Bonham as their father won't grow up to be amazing drummers, it just helps a little bit..

But don't worry if your child isn't exhibiting signs of being a prodigy of athletics, mathematics, science or anything for that matter. Sometimes a kid is just a kid. The majority of them are. I took the Twinado bowling by myself this Sat morning and then we spent a few hours outside at the playground, the soccer field and the track. Man, were they pooped! (and so was I). They got great exercise on a gorgeous early spring day and now they are relaxing because they are tired. Sometimes I think we push our kids too hard because it's important to have them try so many different things to figure out what they like and what the don't.

Sometimes we just need to let them be kids and I think they'll figure that out all in good time.

Oh, by the way, this is prodigy drummer I recently saw on the interwebs.. He's 6.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=g1qg9myFCqw

Spoiled

So my job comes with some perks like sporting event tickets, concerts, restaurant gift certificates, etc.. But this perk I got on my own.

I won a weekend stay at a Hilton Hotel in Philadelphia from a raffle. Coincidentally enough, I happen to know the manager of the hotel. My family and I were heading down to NY for our annual cousins weekend and then we were going to continue on to Philadelphia for a family vacation. We'd do some historical tours in Philly, take in a Phillies game, go to the zoo, etc. But we needed to change the raffle award to weeknights instead of a weekend to accommodate the dates we would be there.

I was not only able to get a great deal on 3 nights at the hotel, but got upgraded to a suite. So when we finally got to the hotel, we walk in and to the right was a small kitchen, to the left an enormous bathroom and a King size bed. There were couches, chairs and a work area as well. Then, we took the boys to the adjoining room which was to be theirs. They found a TV, a bathroom and a queen size bed all for them! Needless to say they were super psyched. That was also the weekend that Douglas started pooping in the potty.. I doubt there's any correlation, but you never know.

The reason for the back story is because that was the first time they had ever been to a hotel. Just like the first time they ever gone to a Red Sox game, they were in a luxury box. (They're first Bruins game was in a box too). They literally ate their way through 4 innings of the game and we practically had to roll them out to the car. I hope they don't think that every sporting event is like that..

So we were in NY recently for my twin cousins' Bat Mitzvah and we were staying in a hotel. We opened up the door to the room which was just a standard room with 2 queen beds, etc, nothing fancy. Immediately, we hear:

Daniel: "Where are you guys sleeping"?

Douglas: "Where's the kitchen"?

Ugh.. Looks like I have some un-spoiling to do..

Times, They Are A Changin?

There's definitely something weird going on.. Not sure what it is though. Daniel has always been big into Superman and Douglas into Batman. It's like blasphemy if you even look at it as the other one will freak out saying "no that's mine"! Same way with some stuffed animals. Douglas has this puppy which he affectionately calls, well, puppy. And Daniel this very soft and cuddly blue bear, appropriately named, well, blue bear. Daniel also has this white pound puppy he just calls white. I don't know where they come up with these names.

Now it gets weird. Earlier this past week, Daniel actually gave, not traded mind you, gave his blue bear to Douglas for him to have in his bed while he sleeps. This is the blue bear that goes with him to his grandparent's house every weekend. He cannot sleep without it. Instead he wants to take this alligator.

This alone, while a little weird, would not have been such a big deal.

However, this past Saturday he allowed Douglas to wear his long sleeve Superman shirt. Ok, he's being nice and sharing his shirt. But then, in a stunning turn of events, said that he could keep it in his drawer! I had to ask him 3 times to make sure I was hearing it correctly. This essentially means that he will no longer wear it. Because they wear the same size shirts, their drawers are kind of interchangeable, however they do have "their" shirts that only they wear. The Superman shirt was definitely one of those and is now being discarded like an expired coupon. Douglas then gave his Batman shirt to Daniel which is now his to wear along with puppy to sleep with.

It gets even weirder. I went in to tuck them in before I went to bed and didn't even realize until the next morning that they had switched beds!!

Are they growing up realizing they want different things?  Are they just going through a phase? What are they going to do next say that they don't want to wear Angry Birds, Ninja Turtles or Phineas and Ferb underwear anymore?  Oh, that is going to be a sad day..

Where Were You

There are those moments for all of us. Some are personal and some are local, national and even global.

For people who remember, they know where they were when JFK was shot. (Way before my time). They know where they were when the Challenger exploded. (I was in my classroom having recess because my teacher for whatever reason wouldn't let us watch. Another student barged in and told us what happened). They know where they were when 9/11 happened. (I was at work and when told that a plane had hit the WTC, I asked NY or Boston because I knew my mother in law worked at the one in Boston).

But if we think about the ages that we were when certain life events occur, we don't remember much when we're young. I was 10 for the Challenger so I remember that. But I don't remember the Iranian hostage crisis as I was only 3. I don't remember Reagan or Lennon getting shot as I was only 4.

I've struggled going back and forth on whether or not to expose my kids to some of the horrors that are happening in today's very screwed up world. They do not know, to the best of my knowledge about the shooting at Sandy Hook. All I did was come home that night and hug them as tightly as I could. And we snuggled for a long time before they went to sleep. We have never talked about it.

As for yesterday, I don't believe they know either. The TV was definitely on while they were eating dinner, but they did not pay attention. They did not ask what happened, nor did I offer it up. Even though my son had someone running in the marathon for him as part of the Miles for Miracles program with Boston Children's Hospital, he still did not ask. We had been there at the finish line just 48 hour earlier.

Do I show them the video? Do I then teach them about what true evil looks like? Do I save their innocence, even if it's just for 1 day until the next evil comes along in some other form?

I brought them into work with me today. Really for no other reason than just to be with them. It seemed like a good day to do it. We had lunch together in the kitchen. They drew me pictures. It was nice.

My guess is in the future they would not remember what happened yesterday as they are only 5. And even if they did remember, they may not be able to process it completely now so their memory of it would be faint at best.

I think I'll leave it alone and hopefully they'll never know what evil really is.

Be Prone

As in, get on the floor..  See things from their perspective. Babies love eye contact.

No, of course you're not going to fit on their play mat when they are 3 months old, but there's nothing wrong with getting on the floor and playing with them and their toys.

Explosion!

Not sure how many people that are reading this watch How I Met Your Mother, but recently there was an episode where Marshall and Lilly's son Marvin had a huge poop explosion. Anyone who is a parent has probably had this happen. My story is a little different.

The boys were still in the NICU at Brigham and Women's and we were spending one of the many Sunday's we spent at the hospital in the fall of 2007. They had finally been moved to NICU A, which was a step up from NICU B. It meant they weren't as critical which is always a good thing. There was also a little more room as there weren't as many isolettes.

They were still very young, about 8 weeks old or so I would guess (my memory of that time is a little fuzzy). Amy was over hanging out with Daniel and I was with Douglas. And of course, as luck would have it, it was time to change him. So of course I get everything prepared and open up the isolette. Now that they were in NICU A we didn't have to reach through these holes anymore. We could actually just open up the side of the isolette and put our whole arms in which was nice.

So I had everything prepared for the changing. I had the new diaper under the old one, wipes next to me all set to go. Now at this point, they weren't even in regular diapers. They were in these things called wee-pees. I'm not joking, they were so small because they boys were only about 4 pounds or so each, their bodies would have just been swallowed by a regular diaper. So I take off the tabs on the sides of the dirty diaper and lift up his legs to remove and.......

SSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!

That is my best attempt at onomatopoeia.. He unloaded this vile, green and brown fecal matter everywhere and it just wouldn't stop!! I mean all over my arm, the floor, the entire isolette, the wires, the monitor that was monitoring his heart rate, BP, O2 levels, etc.. Literally everywhere it could possibly be, it was.. So I'm standing there with poop all over the place trying not to yell for someone to help because you need to keep your voices down while in the NICU.. So I'm yelling at the highest level I can, which is about a normal talking level..  nurse...  Nurse..  NURSE!!  Finally I just couldn't deal anymore and a nurse came over and immediately doubled over in laughter..  Yeah, real funny.. although, I'm sure it had happened to her before which is probably why she was laughing.. She knew what it felt like..

So a janitor was called to clean up the floor and take the isolette away and have it hosed down..  Douglas had a quick bath while a new isolette was retrieved and set up.  I cleaned up, but we left shortly thereafter.

Let's just say, we made sure there was always a nurse around every time we changed him from then on.

Looking on the bright side, changing diapers for many years for two boys, I was never ever once peed on. So I have that going for me.

How to Diffuse a Tantrum

For centuries, as long as there have been children, there have been temper tantrums.. Actually, as long as there have been adults there have been temper tantrums too..

But the hard part is what to do once it happens.. You can see it coming too. They ask for the toy and you say no. First, they get really sad when they don't get what they want. With some kids you might even get that lip quiver trying to make you feel badly. Then they might hold their breath.  And when all else fails, they start crying loudly and falling to the floor wailing. Then, the last step is to go boneless. It's really quite simple and depending on the parent, effective in getting what they want.

Except when you know how to diffuse a tantrum. Knowledge is power. Every parent is afraid of that situation when you are in public, perhaps at a supermarket or department store and the tantrum starts.

I have to say I cannot take credit for this. My wife is the one who came up with it.

When you see the tantrum start, follow these 3 easy steps to diffusing most tantrums:

1. Tell the child they are doing it wrong.

Huh?  What are you talking about?  Just trust me. Clearly the child will stop to look inquisitively at the parent trying to figure what they mean. Don't they understand that I am trying to throw a tantrum here?

2. Tell them how to do it properly. Show him that it's stomp, stomp, arm, arm and not arm, arm, stomp, stomp.

You will have the most bewildered child in the world at this point. Is my adult human really trying to tell me how to properly perform a temper tantrum? I'm the temper tantrum master don't they know this?

And then, when you have them all sorts of confused, lay the big one on:

3. Then, you flop down on the floor and flail!

Seriously, just do it. Your child will think that this is so funny and the best thing ever. Don't get me wrong, they will throw the tantrum, but they'll be LAUGHING while they do it.

Not only did you just change your child from crying to laughing in a matter of a minute, you just diffused a potentially embarrassing situation (especially if you are in a public place) and you didn't lose your temper yelling at your child.

While I can't guarantee success, I can say you have a much better chance of making a bad situation into a funny one. It seems to work with a 100% success rate in our house.

And as you are leaving the store, be sure to bow to the rounds of applause from the other parents. You will have earned it.