It's a simple phrase really.. I got this.. It could mean many things.. It could mean someone taking care of a meal.. It could mean someone grabbing a round of beers.. Or it could mean that you'll handle something and don't worry about it.. All relatively common uses for the phrase, but when it comes out of your six year old, time to step on the brakes and pull a George Costanza:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d0uUFw5ggM
So recently we had another common occurrence, a separated birthday party.. Meaning, one twin was invited because it was a classmate of his and the other was not invited because more than likely the birthday girl doesn't even know he has a brother, much less a twin. And we're totally fine with this. In fact, we even like it. The reason is because it gives us a rare opportunity to have some one on one time.
It's at the movies and is a drop off birthday party (a whole new world for us). Mitch is the only boy out of about 10 girls. As my wife relayed the story to me, his parting words were "Don't worry mom; I got this".
Oh crap..
My 6 year old is telling my wife "I got this"? I'm not ready for this.. Granted this is the child that is much more independent. Although he still doesn't like to go upstairs when no one is up there, he's much more apt to play alone than need someone to play with him. And he's getting better..
But if at 6 he feels no fear heading into a birthday party full of 10 girls, what else will he feel no fear about?
First day of Junior High, the beginning of potentially the most awkward 2 years of any boys' life? Don't worry, I got this.
First day of High School? Don't worry, I got this.
That big game? Don't worry coach, I got this.
First day of college? Don't worry, I got this.
First big presentation at work? Don't worry boss, I got this.
We overtly want our children to be independent so they do not have to rely on us for everything.. However, we covertly wish they would stay young and innocent forever. Maybe that way we wouldn't have to hear the words "Don't worry, I got this". As Dr. Seuss so aptly put it, "Kid, you'll move mountains!"
Rock Fists
Showing posts with label birthdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthdays. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
One Tooth, Two Teeth
Summer of 1983 is when I lost my first tooth. I had just turned 7 and my family was on vacation in Vermont. (Coincidentally enough Amy and I are going to that same resort for a long weekend in October. Weird, I know) Anyway, my tooth was so loose before we left I was worried that the tooth fairy wouldn't know where to find us if it fell out.. So I wrote the tooth fairy a letter telling her the address of where my family and I would be staying so in case my tooth did fall out, she could find us. Lo and behold, my tooth fell out while we were in Vermont and the tooth fairy was able to find me and leave me something under my pillow. And yes, I do still have the letter.
Well, history seemed to almost repeat itself almost 30 years later. My wife and I were on vacation with the twinado visiting relatives in NY and NJ and making a stop in between to go to Philly. One of Douglas's bottom teeth was very loose when we left for vacation and we had a feeling it would fall out while we were away. So before leaving we made sure to get some Sacagawea coins from the bank. Hey, no one wants to carry those things around and a shiny new coin is the equivalent of giving a baby a box to play with.
Towards the end of the week we were visiting my wife's grandmother in Southern Jersey and took a day to head to Sesame Place, which was only about 40 minutes away. The boys had a great time and were doing so well until Douglas got a little scared while just about to go on one of the water rides. It's a really good thing we didn't wait in line for 45 minutes to go on this ride, because then it would have been a total waste. (Yes, that was sarcasm).
However, on the way down to the bottom of the stairs, Douglas says "Mommy look" and points to the newly formed hole in his mouth.. So excited, Amy asked him where the tooth went and of course, got the 4 year old shrug of "I don't know".. So she did what any good mother would do and started looking all around on the ground for a tooth the size of a grain of rice in a crowd of 50 people. Numerous bystanders started asking if was she ok or if she had lost a contact lens. As soon as she told them her 4 year old son just lost his first tooth, immediately she had 5 mothers on the ground all looking for his tooth. Unfortunately, after some time it was evident that the tooth was lost and we were going to have to figure something out.
While he was not too sad about losing the tooth, he was more curious how we were going to let the tooth fairy know where he was. So the idea was that we would write a letter to the tooth fairy letting her know we were on vacation in NJ and giving the address of where we were staying. However, there is this little problem of how does she find the tooth? So, thankfully we still had a map of Sesame Place. We circled the ride and the area that it fell out and included it in the letter. Douglas signed his name to it and we placed it in an envelope under his pillow.
Now, you're saying wait a minute.. How does the tooth fairy know that he even lost a tooth? How does she know to come to the house if the address and where to find the tooth is in the letter? There are so many holes to this story.. But thankfully we are dealing with a 4 year old who thinks the tooth fairy has orange skin, blue hair and red eyes. So I think we're safe with this one.
We put him to bed with the envelope under his pillow but the kid would just NOT GO TO SLEEP! I'm thinking of calling in Samuel L Jackson at this point because seriously, it was past 1030p, we had had a very long day and I was tired.. If I, er the tooth fairy, was going to put the coin under his pillow, he needed to be asleep!! So finally at some point past 11p when I can barely keep my eyes open he falls asleep. I carefully exchange an envelope with the coin in it for the envelope with the letter and map. All is right with the world.
Fast forward to the next morning when he wakes up, early of course because it's vacation. He comes into our room and says that there's nothing under his pillow. Now, I know for a fact there was because I did it, but obviously I couldn't tell him that. So I told him it had to be there all the while he is inconsolably balling because he didn't get anything from the tooth fairy (I blame society for this). Thankfully, the envelope had just fallen behind the bed from under his pillow while he flailed around during the night. He was extremely happy with his shiny, new gold coin and was very excited to put it in his piggy bank when we got home. So excited in fact that he wanted to carry it around with him for the rest of the trip to make sure he didn't lose it. While you would think that would have disaster written all over it (his nickname is The Kracken after all), believe it or not he kept that coin with him for 2 more days and did not lose it. So I have to give him credit for that.
Since this episode, he has since lost the tooth next to the other one so he now has a gaping hole on the bottom of his mouth. Now you're saying "hmm, 4 seems to be a little young to be losing teeth". And you'd be correct. However, in terms of doing things first between his brother and him, let's just say the scales are not tipping in his favor. So while it may be early, at least he lays claim doing something first.
Well, history seemed to almost repeat itself almost 30 years later. My wife and I were on vacation with the twinado visiting relatives in NY and NJ and making a stop in between to go to Philly. One of Douglas's bottom teeth was very loose when we left for vacation and we had a feeling it would fall out while we were away. So before leaving we made sure to get some Sacagawea coins from the bank. Hey, no one wants to carry those things around and a shiny new coin is the equivalent of giving a baby a box to play with.
Towards the end of the week we were visiting my wife's grandmother in Southern Jersey and took a day to head to Sesame Place, which was only about 40 minutes away. The boys had a great time and were doing so well until Douglas got a little scared while just about to go on one of the water rides. It's a really good thing we didn't wait in line for 45 minutes to go on this ride, because then it would have been a total waste. (Yes, that was sarcasm).
However, on the way down to the bottom of the stairs, Douglas says "Mommy look" and points to the newly formed hole in his mouth.. So excited, Amy asked him where the tooth went and of course, got the 4 year old shrug of "I don't know".. So she did what any good mother would do and started looking all around on the ground for a tooth the size of a grain of rice in a crowd of 50 people. Numerous bystanders started asking if was she ok or if she had lost a contact lens. As soon as she told them her 4 year old son just lost his first tooth, immediately she had 5 mothers on the ground all looking for his tooth. Unfortunately, after some time it was evident that the tooth was lost and we were going to have to figure something out.
While he was not too sad about losing the tooth, he was more curious how we were going to let the tooth fairy know where he was. So the idea was that we would write a letter to the tooth fairy letting her know we were on vacation in NJ and giving the address of where we were staying. However, there is this little problem of how does she find the tooth? So, thankfully we still had a map of Sesame Place. We circled the ride and the area that it fell out and included it in the letter. Douglas signed his name to it and we placed it in an envelope under his pillow.
Now, you're saying wait a minute.. How does the tooth fairy know that he even lost a tooth? How does she know to come to the house if the address and where to find the tooth is in the letter? There are so many holes to this story.. But thankfully we are dealing with a 4 year old who thinks the tooth fairy has orange skin, blue hair and red eyes. So I think we're safe with this one.
We put him to bed with the envelope under his pillow but the kid would just NOT GO TO SLEEP! I'm thinking of calling in Samuel L Jackson at this point because seriously, it was past 1030p, we had had a very long day and I was tired.. If I, er the tooth fairy, was going to put the coin under his pillow, he needed to be asleep!! So finally at some point past 11p when I can barely keep my eyes open he falls asleep. I carefully exchange an envelope with the coin in it for the envelope with the letter and map. All is right with the world.
Fast forward to the next morning when he wakes up, early of course because it's vacation. He comes into our room and says that there's nothing under his pillow. Now, I know for a fact there was because I did it, but obviously I couldn't tell him that. So I told him it had to be there all the while he is inconsolably balling because he didn't get anything from the tooth fairy (I blame society for this). Thankfully, the envelope had just fallen behind the bed from under his pillow while he flailed around during the night. He was extremely happy with his shiny, new gold coin and was very excited to put it in his piggy bank when we got home. So excited in fact that he wanted to carry it around with him for the rest of the trip to make sure he didn't lose it. While you would think that would have disaster written all over it (his nickname is The Kracken after all), believe it or not he kept that coin with him for 2 more days and did not lose it. So I have to give him credit for that.
Since this episode, he has since lost the tooth next to the other one so he now has a gaping hole on the bottom of his mouth. Now you're saying "hmm, 4 seems to be a little young to be losing teeth". And you'd be correct. However, in terms of doing things first between his brother and him, let's just say the scales are not tipping in his favor. So while it may be early, at least he lays claim doing something first.
Monday, September 10, 2012
The Day
For anyone who knows me, I have pretty much been the same weight since I
graduated college.. There was this uptick of about 10 pounds my senior
year from 150 to 160, but I honestly have no idea why.. Must have just
been a fluke; you know, one of those things..
Anyway, I've been hovering around 150 for the better part of almost 15 years now (ugh, has it really been almost 15 years since I graduated college?) and I've been able to eat pretty much anything I wanted.. It's a gift you know? It's like I can't control it. (Anyone who's seen The Girl Next Door knows that line). My metabolism, thanks to my grandfather, helped me out with that.. Truth be told, I've always been pretty active, but I've slowed down a bit in recent years.. With a full time job and the Twinado, my nights of playing indoor soccer have disappeared and my days of pick up hoop games with friends have waned into non-existence. Don't get me wrong, chasing the boys around, playing at the park with them or even taking the dog for a walk is good exercise, just not to the level I'm used to.
However I had an epiphany recently, or maybe it was a hallucination from the excruciating pain I was feeling while enduring my third kidney stone in the last 8 years.. I have no idea why God picked me to have these, but oh I am so thankful!! I used to think that you're never given anything you can't handle (see previous blogs), but seriously this isn't even funny. My first one was in 2004 when living in Smallbany, NY. I would write a blog about that, but we weren't even there long enough for anything interesting to happen.. Oh, except for all of our belongings being stolen by the movers, but that's another blog for another day I guess..
So, the real point of this blog (if you're still reading) is that for the first time in my life, I'm on a diet.Well, it's not really a diet I guess, just trying to cut sodium. You would not believe the sodium content in some things.. I'm not saying that too much sodium will kill you, but there are lots of things that we eat that can have lasting effects on our health I'm not here to preach don't worry. But my point is in addition to the fact I have no want at all to relive the pain of another kidney stone, I do have the want to see my sons grow up. . These last 5 years have totally changed me. But it doesn't have to be just kids. It can be parents, grandparents, siblings, grandchildren, whomever. It doesn't matter who as long as it's someone. I'm not saying don't enjoy life, I'm just saying make sure you make it last a long time. And while I don't want to go too crazy, I will if I have to. Because I think it's worth it.
Anyway, I've been hovering around 150 for the better part of almost 15 years now (ugh, has it really been almost 15 years since I graduated college?) and I've been able to eat pretty much anything I wanted.. It's a gift you know? It's like I can't control it. (Anyone who's seen The Girl Next Door knows that line). My metabolism, thanks to my grandfather, helped me out with that.. Truth be told, I've always been pretty active, but I've slowed down a bit in recent years.. With a full time job and the Twinado, my nights of playing indoor soccer have disappeared and my days of pick up hoop games with friends have waned into non-existence. Don't get me wrong, chasing the boys around, playing at the park with them or even taking the dog for a walk is good exercise, just not to the level I'm used to.
However I had an epiphany recently, or maybe it was a hallucination from the excruciating pain I was feeling while enduring my third kidney stone in the last 8 years.. I have no idea why God picked me to have these, but oh I am so thankful!! I used to think that you're never given anything you can't handle (see previous blogs), but seriously this isn't even funny. My first one was in 2004 when living in Smallbany, NY. I would write a blog about that, but we weren't even there long enough for anything interesting to happen.. Oh, except for all of our belongings being stolen by the movers, but that's another blog for another day I guess..
It was in the middle of the night and it was pain unlike I had
ever experienced before.. I had never really had any type of pain
experience like that so I wasn't sure what to expect. Of course, Amy
wasn't feeling well that night so she had taken the red devil (NyQuil)
so she could sleep. So there she is in her NyQuil coma and I am
writhing around in pain on the floor thinking something is going to
burst through my side like in Alien (yes, I know, that was his chest but
your kidney's aren't in your chest now are they?)
Thankfully my wailing eventually woke her with
obviously no clue as to what was happening. Not knowing the area too
well, or really what was going on, 911 was the best course of action.
While the ambulance is on its way I thought I could make it to the
door. It is the middle of the night, in February, in Albany so it's not
exactly balmy out. Somehow I have clothes on when the paramedics
arrive. I thought I could crawl the length of the hallway from our
bedroom in the back of the apartment to the front door, which in
retrospect isn't that long, but seemed like one of those never-ending
hallways. Well, I didn't make it.. I collapsed somewhere between the
end of our bedroom and the beginning of the kitchen, which was probably a
total of 5 feet. They had to put me on one of those chairs that keeps
you in a tuck position because the pain of having to straighten my body
was unbearable. Amy followed along in her car while the ambulance drove
to the hospital which was about 5-10 minutes away. I do remember them
hooking me up to the IV and giving me morphine for the pain. I remember
them saying "
OK 5 cc's of morphine" and administering it. Then they ask you, if
you've never been in an ER or ambulance for a pain-related emergency,
"describe the pain from 1-10?" So I said 20! OK, I'll let you in on a
little secret here.. I don't deal with pain well.. I mean, a cut on my
finger, or s stub on the toe, big deal.. but real, actual pain? Nope..
So they gave me another 5 cc's of morphine. After a minute or two, they
asked me again and I think I said 15. So yes, they gave me 5 more cc's
of morphine and then I was floating. I was done. No more pain. No
more anything really.. The relief was the best thing I had ever felt..
Until it wore off at some point in the hospital so they gave me a prescription for Vicodin. While at CVS filling
my prescription for Vicodin, the pharmacist asked me what it was for as
it was heavy medication. I told her it was for a kidney stone and she
said, and I quote" I have had 3 children by vaginal birth and I
have had 1 kidney stone. I would gladly have 3 more children by vaginal
birth than have another kidney stone." Fan-tas-tic. Now make with the
Vicodin before the one I took wears of..
Unfortunately, I did not pass it so I had to sit on
the couch for a few days and in between popping Vicodin drink those 24
oz sport bottles of Poland Spring and pee every 5 minutes into a
strainer to hopefully pass a stone that was about half the size of a
grain of rice, if that.. Tons of fun let me tell you..
The second one, of course in the middle of the night
again was not as bad as before the ambulance even arrived I was already
starting to feel better.. It didn't mean I wasn't in pain and didn't
gladly accept the morphine they were giving me, it just didn't hurt as
much for as long the second time. However, circumstances had changed
because we had 2 very young children and in the middle of the night, it
just wasn't going to be possible to have Amy and the boys follow me. So
after I was released, the ER called me a cab and yes, I took a cab home
from the hospital. Only, I didn't have any money and had to plead with
the guy to take me home explaining my situation. I was praying that we
had some cash at home to give him and thankfully, we had just enough.
Sorry dude, no tip this time.. Maybe next time..
And yes, there was a next time.. For the kidney
stone, not the cab thankfully.. But of course, the middle of the night
(there has to be something to this) and there it is again.. Agony.. After already having had two of them, I knew exactly what the pain was. So we
pack up the boys in the car and drive to the ER. Toridal and Dilaudid
this time around, which did the trick.. We were only there for a few
hours and still was able to get a few more hours sleep on Saturday
morning.. However, we were planning on going with some friends to Davis
Farmland which had already been postponed once for the weather. It was
the boys' birthday weekend and I didn't want to miss it. So I perc'd
up and it was pretty fun actually..
So, the real point of this blog (if you're still reading) is that for the first time in my life, I'm on a diet.Well, it's not really a diet I guess, just trying to cut sodium. You would not believe the sodium content in some things.. I'm not saying that too much sodium will kill you, but there are lots of things that we eat that can have lasting effects on our health I'm not here to preach don't worry. But my point is in addition to the fact I have no want at all to relive the pain of another kidney stone, I do have the want to see my sons grow up. . These last 5 years have totally changed me. But it doesn't have to be just kids. It can be parents, grandparents, siblings, grandchildren, whomever. It doesn't matter who as long as it's someone. I'm not saying don't enjoy life, I'm just saying make sure you make it last a long time. And while I don't want to go too crazy, I will if I have to. Because I think it's worth it.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Back In My Day...
Wow.. I'm only 36 and I'm already saying it.. I didn't think that was going to happen for a while.. Kinda like receding hairline and going to bed consistently before 10p, but I digress.
Now that my boys are almost 5 (Jesus), I can say I've been to my fair share of kids' birthday parties.. I've been everywhere from the local Discovery Museum to Jump On In.
Wow, those bounce houses are pretty much the greatest thing to happen to kids birthday parties since, well ever. I don't even really remember the birthday parties I went to to be honest. I believe for the most part we just went to McDonald's and played in the ball pits. Or maybe Papa Gino's where we got to watch the birthday child stand behind the counter and flip the dough while making their own pizza. I do remember, amazingly enough during the Blizzard of '78 (yes I was 4 months shy of 2) standing in the front door with it open just staring out into nothing because the entire door was blocked with snow. You couldn't even open it there was so much snow. Maybe I recall that because it was so memorable, unlike the birthday parties.
I went to a party the other day (not a birthday party, but mostly for kids) where there was a bouncy house. But not just any bouncy house; this one was a water slide bouncy house where you slide down and land in a pool of water! I mean seriously WHERE WAS THIS WHEN I WAS A KID?!?!?! I mean, come on..
My boys, once they got going were on that thing for a good 2 hours.. To tell the truth, I really wanted to go on it myself.. They actually came over to me at one point and said "Daddy, this is awesome!" It really was..
I can't even imagine what the birthday parties are going to be like when our grand kids go to them. Are they going to have hover boards like in Back to the Future? Really, what could possibly top a bouncy house water slide at this point?
Well, whatever the kids are doing at birthday parties 30 years from now, I'm hoping that I'm able to take part.. You're never to old to act like a kid.
Now that my boys are almost 5 (Jesus), I can say I've been to my fair share of kids' birthday parties.. I've been everywhere from the local Discovery Museum to Jump On In.
Wow, those bounce houses are pretty much the greatest thing to happen to kids birthday parties since, well ever. I don't even really remember the birthday parties I went to to be honest. I believe for the most part we just went to McDonald's and played in the ball pits. Or maybe Papa Gino's where we got to watch the birthday child stand behind the counter and flip the dough while making their own pizza. I do remember, amazingly enough during the Blizzard of '78 (yes I was 4 months shy of 2) standing in the front door with it open just staring out into nothing because the entire door was blocked with snow. You couldn't even open it there was so much snow. Maybe I recall that because it was so memorable, unlike the birthday parties.
I went to a party the other day (not a birthday party, but mostly for kids) where there was a bouncy house. But not just any bouncy house; this one was a water slide bouncy house where you slide down and land in a pool of water! I mean seriously WHERE WAS THIS WHEN I WAS A KID?!?!?! I mean, come on..
My boys, once they got going were on that thing for a good 2 hours.. To tell the truth, I really wanted to go on it myself.. They actually came over to me at one point and said "Daddy, this is awesome!" It really was..
I can't even imagine what the birthday parties are going to be like when our grand kids go to them. Are they going to have hover boards like in Back to the Future? Really, what could possibly top a bouncy house water slide at this point?
Well, whatever the kids are doing at birthday parties 30 years from now, I'm hoping that I'm able to take part.. You're never to old to act like a kid.
Monday, January 30, 2012
When Life Gives You Lemons: Part 3
This is where the movie part ends. There were no flowers or cards or cigars. I sat alone in my room for a couple of hours, but it seemed like an eternity. Unable to see my wife or my children I had no idea what was going on. Occasionally a nurse would come in and ask if I needed anything like water, etc.. While it was appreciated, it certainly wasn't going to help. It was the middle of the night, well technically now very early in the morning so we weren't going to call anybody. We had already made the decision that evening on the way to the hospital that if we did have the babies that we would wait until the morning to call and not have any one come that day. It was going to be hectic enough without having people around to ask questions we just didn't know the answers to.
Finally I was able to see my wife which was nice.. She had done such a great job. I was so proud of her. But we were so concerned about the health of the babies that we really had no time to think about anything else. Because they were so premature, born at 28 weeks and 1 day, they were immediately moved to the NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit) where they would be hooked up to more wires and tubes than I would ever see in my entire life. You couldn't even see their little bodies as they were all covered with gauze, wires, tubes and numerous other devices that were helping them stay alive. They even had little blindfolds over their eyes to shield them from the bright lights of the NICU and their isolettes. One funny thing though, the diapers they were wearing, because they were so small were called WeePees. I couldn't make that up if I tried. That's what they're called.. Pretty funny..
As I mentioned, we were originally told we were having a boy and a girl. Then, at about week 24 or so, we were told to stop telling people that. Then, after delivery, we were told we had a boy and a girl again. So we guessed the original genders were correct. However they were telling us not to say anything to anyone about the sexes until we had a conversation with the doctors. We were ushered into a conference room and suddenly were standing in front of about 12 doctors and specialists. We had a feeling this was not going to be your normal conversation.
We could not have been more right. They proceeded to tell us the reason why they could not give us the gender of one of the babies. It had been born with a chromosomal genetic abnormality called Mosaic Turner Syndrome. A chromosome analysis test called a karyotype determined the diagnosis. Some of the characteristics of Mosaic Turner Syndrome are short stature, a high palate making it difficult to eat, coarctation of the aorta, and ambiguous genitalia (the baby had all 4). When the babies' chromosomes were replicating, early on there was a mistake. A genetic abnormality if you will. One of the X chromosomes did not pair up with a Y, it was left blank. That mistake replicated all the way down so the baby only had 15% XY and 85% XO. Therefore, we had a decision to make. We had to decide the gender of our child. Was the baby going to be a boy or a girl?
Now there are some decisions a person makes that defines who they are going to be. For example, what college you go to or don't go to, what job you take or don't take, who you date and perhaps eventually who you do or do not marry. However there are very few decisions that one makes that defines their life. This would be an decision that defined mine.
We met with teams of doctors including genetic specialists, endocrinologists, urologists, among others. Tests were run and it was concluded that the baby was in fact making testosterone, however was not making enough. Based on the absence of any female indicators and all signs pointing to male indicators, the decision was made that the baby would be a boy. Because the normal reproductive system had not fully developed, numerous surgeries would need to be performed in order to create a functioning reproductive system. These would happen over the next few years.
Now that the decision was made, it was time to name the babies. We had already had 1 boy name picked out because we knew were having at least 1 boy. However when we were told to stop telling people we were having a girl, we knew we should have a second boy name just in case. Thus, Daniel and Douglas were officially named and soon became household names.
This is by far not the end of the story as this is the ever-evolving tale of the Twins of Anarchy. But writing this particular blog was quite cathartic for me as I've told the story before, but never put it down on "paper". I do wish I had started this back when I found out we were having twins. Well, there's always next time.. Eh, I don't think so. :)
Finally I was able to see my wife which was nice.. She had done such a great job. I was so proud of her. But we were so concerned about the health of the babies that we really had no time to think about anything else. Because they were so premature, born at 28 weeks and 1 day, they were immediately moved to the NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit) where they would be hooked up to more wires and tubes than I would ever see in my entire life. You couldn't even see their little bodies as they were all covered with gauze, wires, tubes and numerous other devices that were helping them stay alive. They even had little blindfolds over their eyes to shield them from the bright lights of the NICU and their isolettes. One funny thing though, the diapers they were wearing, because they were so small were called WeePees. I couldn't make that up if I tried. That's what they're called.. Pretty funny..
As I mentioned, we were originally told we were having a boy and a girl. Then, at about week 24 or so, we were told to stop telling people that. Then, after delivery, we were told we had a boy and a girl again. So we guessed the original genders were correct. However they were telling us not to say anything to anyone about the sexes until we had a conversation with the doctors. We were ushered into a conference room and suddenly were standing in front of about 12 doctors and specialists. We had a feeling this was not going to be your normal conversation.
We could not have been more right. They proceeded to tell us the reason why they could not give us the gender of one of the babies. It had been born with a chromosomal genetic abnormality called Mosaic Turner Syndrome. A chromosome analysis test called a karyotype determined the diagnosis. Some of the characteristics of Mosaic Turner Syndrome are short stature, a high palate making it difficult to eat, coarctation of the aorta, and ambiguous genitalia (the baby had all 4). When the babies' chromosomes were replicating, early on there was a mistake. A genetic abnormality if you will. One of the X chromosomes did not pair up with a Y, it was left blank. That mistake replicated all the way down so the baby only had 15% XY and 85% XO. Therefore, we had a decision to make. We had to decide the gender of our child. Was the baby going to be a boy or a girl?
Now there are some decisions a person makes that defines who they are going to be. For example, what college you go to or don't go to, what job you take or don't take, who you date and perhaps eventually who you do or do not marry. However there are very few decisions that one makes that defines their life. This would be an decision that defined mine.
We met with teams of doctors including genetic specialists, endocrinologists, urologists, among others. Tests were run and it was concluded that the baby was in fact making testosterone, however was not making enough. Based on the absence of any female indicators and all signs pointing to male indicators, the decision was made that the baby would be a boy. Because the normal reproductive system had not fully developed, numerous surgeries would need to be performed in order to create a functioning reproductive system. These would happen over the next few years.
Now that the decision was made, it was time to name the babies. We had already had 1 boy name picked out because we knew were having at least 1 boy. However when we were told to stop telling people we were having a girl, we knew we should have a second boy name just in case. Thus, Daniel and Douglas were officially named and soon became household names.
This is by far not the end of the story as this is the ever-evolving tale of the Twins of Anarchy. But writing this particular blog was quite cathartic for me as I've told the story before, but never put it down on "paper". I do wish I had started this back when I found out we were having twins. Well, there's always next time.. Eh, I don't think so. :)
Monday, January 23, 2012
When Life Gives You Lemons: Part 2
It started like any other.. A nice day to go with your dad to the ballpark to watch the hometown team.. I knew I wasn't going to have many more chances to do that so I wanted to get it in while I could. My dad and I enjoyed a great day at Fenway on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend 2007. My wife, completing her 28th week was just as happy to relax on the bed with the dog and sleep.
We both went to sleep fairly early that night knowing we both had the day off the next day for Labor Day. Plus, it was a long day for me traveling to Boston, the game and getting back. Even though it's only an hour away, an hour back and the game was 3 hours it turned into an all day thing.. Always does. I can honestly say it was one of the most sound sleeps I had been in in a long time. And then, around 1am, poke poke..
"Um, honey, I think I'm having contractions".
"Huh?" Oh, ok I'll get the watch and the paper. Having finished the birthing class about 2 weeks earlier, I knew what my role was. We time contractions for about 30 minutes and they are all over the place. My wife just doesn't feel right and wants to call the doctor which was fine. She calls the local hospital which is affiliated with our hospital in Boston and who does she get? The one doctor out of the 6 she had seen that she didn't like. That doctor wanted us to come to the closer hospital. When my wife asked what would happen if she needed to deliver (remember she just finished her 28th week) the doctor said well they would deliver there and then send the babies to Boston. So when she tried to confirm that we would just follow the ambulance after, the answer was no, you'll stay here.. Well, then that was a big fat no thanks.. we'll just go to Boston. It's 2am and I'm sure there won't be any traffic.. we'll take our chances..
So I quickly packed a bag (thankfully) and we started off to Boston. Unfortunately, the only way we knew that time to go was Route 9, which is ALWAYS under construction.. So someone who was having contractions and had to drive in a car going over unevenly paved road with exposed sewer caps, she was less than thrilled.
They say it never happens like it does in the movies.. I'm calling shenanigans.. that's EXACTLY the way it happens.. We pull up into the emergency zone, and I get her out of the car screaming, "I need a wheelchair and a doctor!" We wheel her into the hospital and fill out endless forms before we can enter.. We finally get brought into an area to get checked out by a doctor. While my wife is being tended to, I'm being asked a whole host of questions.. I think I answered all of them, I really don't know.. I do know the nurse was very impressed I knew her social security number (my wife's, not the nurses. That would be have awkward). Then, I heard a doctor say "I can feel a head. we need to get you the delivery room stat!" Ok, I don't know if she said stat, but I'm keeping with the whole movie theme.. They literally threw scrubs at me and pointed me to a bathroom to go change and meet them outside.
Do you remember the scene in Pulp Fiction after Vincent Vega's date with Mia Wallace where he's in the bathroom contemplating whether he should sleep with her or not all while she's OD'ing on the super crank he had in his jacket? That was kinda the scene here where I'm getting ready with these scrubs asking myself in the mirror if this is really happening or is it a dream.. How could they be here already we still have 3 months before they're supposed to be born, we're not ready, we don't have anything, etc.. While it seemed like an hour it was probably only a minute or so. I came out of the bathroom to an empty hallway. No one. I thought that can't be good.
Finally I find someone that said my wife needed to be taken to the ER immediately and they couldn't wait. I got directed where to go and by the time I got there, they had already closed the doors and unfortunately, I was not allowed to enter. So once again, like in the movies, I am sitting there in the hallway pacing around by myself wondering what was going on. Then, like an angel I hear a familiar voice, "Ben?" Now, my wife always complains that I know someone wherever we go. I ran into a fraternity brother on the plane to Hawaii for our honeymoon for example. There isn't a sporting event, concert or random place we go to that I don't see someone I know. However, this time I think she would be happy.
"Kristin?" It was an old friend of mine from growing up who happened to be working that night and was heading into the ER where my wife was giving birth. It was her job to make sure that once born the babies airways were clear and they were breathing well. Let me tell you, not being allowed to be in that room was the worst feeling ever. After hearing about everyone else's experiences being in the delivery room, being together, taking pictures and video, to know I wasn't going to get to do that was deflating. I knew these were the only children we would have which means I will never get to experience it. A hole that will always be vacated.
We both went to sleep fairly early that night knowing we both had the day off the next day for Labor Day. Plus, it was a long day for me traveling to Boston, the game and getting back. Even though it's only an hour away, an hour back and the game was 3 hours it turned into an all day thing.. Always does. I can honestly say it was one of the most sound sleeps I had been in in a long time. And then, around 1am, poke poke..
"Um, honey, I think I'm having contractions".
"Huh?" Oh, ok I'll get the watch and the paper. Having finished the birthing class about 2 weeks earlier, I knew what my role was. We time contractions for about 30 minutes and they are all over the place. My wife just doesn't feel right and wants to call the doctor which was fine. She calls the local hospital which is affiliated with our hospital in Boston and who does she get? The one doctor out of the 6 she had seen that she didn't like. That doctor wanted us to come to the closer hospital. When my wife asked what would happen if she needed to deliver (remember she just finished her 28th week) the doctor said well they would deliver there and then send the babies to Boston. So when she tried to confirm that we would just follow the ambulance after, the answer was no, you'll stay here.. Well, then that was a big fat no thanks.. we'll just go to Boston. It's 2am and I'm sure there won't be any traffic.. we'll take our chances..
So I quickly packed a bag (thankfully) and we started off to Boston. Unfortunately, the only way we knew that time to go was Route 9, which is ALWAYS under construction.. So someone who was having contractions and had to drive in a car going over unevenly paved road with exposed sewer caps, she was less than thrilled.
They say it never happens like it does in the movies.. I'm calling shenanigans.. that's EXACTLY the way it happens.. We pull up into the emergency zone, and I get her out of the car screaming, "I need a wheelchair and a doctor!" We wheel her into the hospital and fill out endless forms before we can enter.. We finally get brought into an area to get checked out by a doctor. While my wife is being tended to, I'm being asked a whole host of questions.. I think I answered all of them, I really don't know.. I do know the nurse was very impressed I knew her social security number (my wife's, not the nurses. That would be have awkward). Then, I heard a doctor say "I can feel a head. we need to get you the delivery room stat!" Ok, I don't know if she said stat, but I'm keeping with the whole movie theme.. They literally threw scrubs at me and pointed me to a bathroom to go change and meet them outside.
Do you remember the scene in Pulp Fiction after Vincent Vega's date with Mia Wallace where he's in the bathroom contemplating whether he should sleep with her or not all while she's OD'ing on the super crank he had in his jacket? That was kinda the scene here where I'm getting ready with these scrubs asking myself in the mirror if this is really happening or is it a dream.. How could they be here already we still have 3 months before they're supposed to be born, we're not ready, we don't have anything, etc.. While it seemed like an hour it was probably only a minute or so. I came out of the bathroom to an empty hallway. No one. I thought that can't be good.
Finally I find someone that said my wife needed to be taken to the ER immediately and they couldn't wait. I got directed where to go and by the time I got there, they had already closed the doors and unfortunately, I was not allowed to enter. So once again, like in the movies, I am sitting there in the hallway pacing around by myself wondering what was going on. Then, like an angel I hear a familiar voice, "Ben?" Now, my wife always complains that I know someone wherever we go. I ran into a fraternity brother on the plane to Hawaii for our honeymoon for example. There isn't a sporting event, concert or random place we go to that I don't see someone I know. However, this time I think she would be happy.
"Kristin?" It was an old friend of mine from growing up who happened to be working that night and was heading into the ER where my wife was giving birth. It was her job to make sure that once born the babies airways were clear and they were breathing well. Let me tell you, not being allowed to be in that room was the worst feeling ever. After hearing about everyone else's experiences being in the delivery room, being together, taking pictures and video, to know I wasn't going to get to do that was deflating. I knew these were the only children we would have which means I will never get to experience it. A hole that will always be vacated.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
When Life Gives You Lemons: Part 1
I can't stand that expression.. It's not always so easy to just "make lemonade" out of lemons. Sometimes life gives you something for which you are not prepared, nor could you ever be. I would put having twins up there at the top, at least for me.
On April 2nd, 2007 we went to my wife's doctor for a check up. We saw the nurse who was performing the ultrasound. As we watched the computer monitor, she nonchalantly said "so, you know you're having twins".. I can't even put a question mark at the end of that sentence because in reality, it was not a question. She was thinking she was confirming something we already knew. Oh she could not have been more wrong.. The shocked expression on our faces was something out of a horror movie where the soon to be victim just realized the killer was inside the house..
"Wait, what?" I asked? Being April 2nd, where the previous day was April Fools Day, I of course asked "this isn't some belated April Fools joke is it? Because if it is, it's not really that funny".
The nurse then said, "oh no, see that little dot right there? That's Baby A and then see that little dot right over there? That's Baby B".
I will be honest.. The first thing that went through my head was not excitement; it was a dollar sign. Thousands of them. 2 mouths to feed, 2 kids in diapers, 2 kids in daycare, 2 Bar Mitzvah's!!! I really don't recall when it set in.. Not sure it truly has.
The next few months which should have been full of joy, shopping and excitement were some of the longest months of my life chock full of doctor's appointments. I feel like that's all we did. Doctor after doctor and test after test. With my wife not being very big (5 feet or so) and carrying twins, obviously the doctors wanted to monitor her closely. Oh, and the fact that she had had multiple back surgeries, including 2 spinal fusions, didn't exactly help matters.
Then, at about 20 weeks or so we had an appointment. The ultrasound revealed a two-vessel cord on Baby B (Normal would be 3 vessels). Baby B also had a distended stomach. Now either of these things alone is no real cause for alarm. However the two characteristics together can be a marker of certain birth defects such as Down Syndrome. The doctor then tells us that we should seriously start thinking about considering selective reduction. And yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. While an amniocentesis could potentially confirm a diagnosis, at this point it would be too dangerous for the healthy twin and it would not 100% confirm anything. So really, we had nothing to gain from doing the procedure and everything to lose.
She says she would like to see us next week to discuss, but we were going away to North Carolina for vacation, our last before the kids. We tell her we are going away and then she tells us she is on vacation the following week so she can see us when she gets back. What? We're supposed to now have this life-altering decision weighing on us for 3 weeks, including our vacation? She seemed very indifferent to the situation and saw no immediacy in a resolution. I guess in retrospect we could have canceled our vacation but the stress of the situation was really baring down on us and we needed this break for whatever sanity we had left. Regardless of what your beliefs may be, when faced with that type of decision it is not as easy as you think. You start weighing things you never thought you would weigh, speak words you never thought you would speak. But after some discussion, the decision was clear. Already knowing we would not be selectively reducing the twins, we decided it might be best not to go back to that doctor and start seeing one in Boston where the twins would be born. Though it would be a much longer drive and require more time for appointments, we felt it would be well worth it in the long run, and we were right.
We saw this fantastic doctor at a hospital in Boston and were told we were having a boy and a girl. We were elated! 1 of each and we're done? Oh this was great, we could not have been happier.. We had names picked out and everything.. Then a few weeks later, at another ultrasound (which seemed to be a weekly occurrence) the doctor asked "what did I tell you that you were having"? We told her she had said a boy and a girl.. And the doctor said something I will never forget "Um, you may want to stop telling people you're having a girl". Wait, what? The reason for the confusion was that Baby B was not cooperating very well in opening its legs so even a 4D ultrasound (which I HIGHLY recommend if you can, very cool) could not determine the gender for sure. Another reason was that there was a possibility of the fetus having ambiguous genitalia. One could understand the lack of confidence in the gender with these two factors.
More doctors and more meetings with geneticists, urologists, counselors and on and on and on it seemed.. The doctors also wanted us to rethink having an amnio. We believed it was more to satisfy their curiosity about the gender of the babies. However, the cons far outweighed the pros. There was no guarantee that the amnio would be 100% and there was a good possibility that the healthy baby could move, puncturing its sack and sending my wife into early labor. That was certainly not an option (at least at this point).
On April 2nd, 2007 we went to my wife's doctor for a check up. We saw the nurse who was performing the ultrasound. As we watched the computer monitor, she nonchalantly said "so, you know you're having twins".. I can't even put a question mark at the end of that sentence because in reality, it was not a question. She was thinking she was confirming something we already knew. Oh she could not have been more wrong.. The shocked expression on our faces was something out of a horror movie where the soon to be victim just realized the killer was inside the house..
"Wait, what?" I asked? Being April 2nd, where the previous day was April Fools Day, I of course asked "this isn't some belated April Fools joke is it? Because if it is, it's not really that funny".
The nurse then said, "oh no, see that little dot right there? That's Baby A and then see that little dot right over there? That's Baby B".
I will be honest.. The first thing that went through my head was not excitement; it was a dollar sign. Thousands of them. 2 mouths to feed, 2 kids in diapers, 2 kids in daycare, 2 Bar Mitzvah's!!! I really don't recall when it set in.. Not sure it truly has.
The next few months which should have been full of joy, shopping and excitement were some of the longest months of my life chock full of doctor's appointments. I feel like that's all we did. Doctor after doctor and test after test. With my wife not being very big (5 feet or so) and carrying twins, obviously the doctors wanted to monitor her closely. Oh, and the fact that she had had multiple back surgeries, including 2 spinal fusions, didn't exactly help matters.
Then, at about 20 weeks or so we had an appointment. The ultrasound revealed a two-vessel cord on Baby B (Normal would be 3 vessels). Baby B also had a distended stomach. Now either of these things alone is no real cause for alarm. However the two characteristics together can be a marker of certain birth defects such as Down Syndrome. The doctor then tells us that we should seriously start thinking about considering selective reduction. And yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. While an amniocentesis could potentially confirm a diagnosis, at this point it would be too dangerous for the healthy twin and it would not 100% confirm anything. So really, we had nothing to gain from doing the procedure and everything to lose.
She says she would like to see us next week to discuss, but we were going away to North Carolina for vacation, our last before the kids. We tell her we are going away and then she tells us she is on vacation the following week so she can see us when she gets back. What? We're supposed to now have this life-altering decision weighing on us for 3 weeks, including our vacation? She seemed very indifferent to the situation and saw no immediacy in a resolution. I guess in retrospect we could have canceled our vacation but the stress of the situation was really baring down on us and we needed this break for whatever sanity we had left. Regardless of what your beliefs may be, when faced with that type of decision it is not as easy as you think. You start weighing things you never thought you would weigh, speak words you never thought you would speak. But after some discussion, the decision was clear. Already knowing we would not be selectively reducing the twins, we decided it might be best not to go back to that doctor and start seeing one in Boston where the twins would be born. Though it would be a much longer drive and require more time for appointments, we felt it would be well worth it in the long run, and we were right.
We saw this fantastic doctor at a hospital in Boston and were told we were having a boy and a girl. We were elated! 1 of each and we're done? Oh this was great, we could not have been happier.. We had names picked out and everything.. Then a few weeks later, at another ultrasound (which seemed to be a weekly occurrence) the doctor asked "what did I tell you that you were having"? We told her she had said a boy and a girl.. And the doctor said something I will never forget "Um, you may want to stop telling people you're having a girl". Wait, what? The reason for the confusion was that Baby B was not cooperating very well in opening its legs so even a 4D ultrasound (which I HIGHLY recommend if you can, very cool) could not determine the gender for sure. Another reason was that there was a possibility of the fetus having ambiguous genitalia. One could understand the lack of confidence in the gender with these two factors.
More doctors and more meetings with geneticists, urologists, counselors and on and on and on it seemed.. The doctors also wanted us to rethink having an amnio. We believed it was more to satisfy their curiosity about the gender of the babies. However, the cons far outweighed the pros. There was no guarantee that the amnio would be 100% and there was a good possibility that the healthy baby could move, puncturing its sack and sending my wife into early labor. That was certainly not an option (at least at this point).
Monday, September 19, 2011
Twinado
I love my boys.. I really do.. but I'm not going to lie when I say I sometimes look forward to Sunday nights..
See normally people would say, huh? Don't you have to work the next day? Isn't the next day Monday, etc, etc? But see it's different in my house.. Ever since the boys started daycare in January of 2008 someone has been watching them on Mondays.. It's either been my mom, my father in law, my mother in law, my sister in law.. you get the point..
But this specific weekend it was a little much.. My wife is in a mothers of multiples group and they have a tag sale every 6 months. You tag and sell clothes that don't fit, toys they don't play with anymore, books they don't read, etc. So it's been work all week, take care of the boys at night, then sort and tag till we go to bed, which has been late every night. Then Friday night she had to set up so it was just us boys. No problem. Then, after getting home late Friday, it was up early Saturday for her to be at the sale by 6am. So it was just me and the boys again.. Normally it would be no problem..
We did some errands and then we went to an indoor playground. Of course Mitch goes right for the house and puts on an apron and starts cooking.. He never cooks at home, but get him out of the house and he becomes Bobby Flay. Max tried desperately to play in the house with him, but being my OCD child he wanted the door closed. However the door wouldn't close and 3 times he got his fingers stuck in the hinges.. I guess if at first you don't succeed, try till you cut your fingers off. Then, they were having shopping cart races (I guess I might be at fault for that one from the Target parking lot). But since Mitch is a little, shall we say undersized, he was going too fast and went over the handle and into the cart.. This woman watched this in horror and tried to help him out while I sat there laughing.. I know, bad parenting at its best.. But it was pretty funny.. He of course was OK, I knew. But at that point it had been a couple of hours I figured it was time to go home for lunch.
I had to feed them and then get them in a bath because once my wife got home she had to get ready as we were going to a work function for her office. So I get them into the bath no problem, but then Mitch decides to poop while in the bath.. Of course he does.. then it's drain the bath, get everyone out and fill it back up, etc.. Totally didn't need that.. Then, we head to the work function which was 45 minutes and we were 2 hours late. Of course the boys were so pleasant when we got there.. It took about 40 minutes for them to finally warm up. We ended up getting home at 8p from that which was not fun.
Sunday we had the Children's Hospital Miracle Maker Reception in Natick at 11am. That was no problem except we had a birthday part to get to in Stow at 1p. We started leaving the reception around 1245p and made it to the party around 130p. This is only because you had to take a train to the parking lot of the farm and the train had about as good a schedule as the MBTA. Somehow we managed to get it all in and we were home around 3p. That's when the sugar kicked in.. All over the place with running and jumping and toys, wrestling, etc.. I don't know where they get all this energy all the time.. it's not like they have cake all the time..
By the time halftime of the Patriots game rolled around, I was done. Thankfully my mother in law was there around 4 and helped entertain them. By 6p the Twinado had passed over the house and was on its way to its grandparents house for the night. But it left in its wake toys everywhere, food all over the place and the house in total disarray. I think I found the dog huddled over in the corner shaking..
Like I said, I love my boys, but sometimes I just can't wait for Sunday night.
See normally people would say, huh? Don't you have to work the next day? Isn't the next day Monday, etc, etc? But see it's different in my house.. Ever since the boys started daycare in January of 2008 someone has been watching them on Mondays.. It's either been my mom, my father in law, my mother in law, my sister in law.. you get the point..
But this specific weekend it was a little much.. My wife is in a mothers of multiples group and they have a tag sale every 6 months. You tag and sell clothes that don't fit, toys they don't play with anymore, books they don't read, etc. So it's been work all week, take care of the boys at night, then sort and tag till we go to bed, which has been late every night. Then Friday night she had to set up so it was just us boys. No problem. Then, after getting home late Friday, it was up early Saturday for her to be at the sale by 6am. So it was just me and the boys again.. Normally it would be no problem..
We did some errands and then we went to an indoor playground. Of course Mitch goes right for the house and puts on an apron and starts cooking.. He never cooks at home, but get him out of the house and he becomes Bobby Flay. Max tried desperately to play in the house with him, but being my OCD child he wanted the door closed. However the door wouldn't close and 3 times he got his fingers stuck in the hinges.. I guess if at first you don't succeed, try till you cut your fingers off. Then, they were having shopping cart races (I guess I might be at fault for that one from the Target parking lot). But since Mitch is a little, shall we say undersized, he was going too fast and went over the handle and into the cart.. This woman watched this in horror and tried to help him out while I sat there laughing.. I know, bad parenting at its best.. But it was pretty funny.. He of course was OK, I knew. But at that point it had been a couple of hours I figured it was time to go home for lunch.
I had to feed them and then get them in a bath because once my wife got home she had to get ready as we were going to a work function for her office. So I get them into the bath no problem, but then Mitch decides to poop while in the bath.. Of course he does.. then it's drain the bath, get everyone out and fill it back up, etc.. Totally didn't need that.. Then, we head to the work function which was 45 minutes and we were 2 hours late. Of course the boys were so pleasant when we got there.. It took about 40 minutes for them to finally warm up. We ended up getting home at 8p from that which was not fun.
Sunday we had the Children's Hospital Miracle Maker Reception in Natick at 11am. That was no problem except we had a birthday part to get to in Stow at 1p. We started leaving the reception around 1245p and made it to the party around 130p. This is only because you had to take a train to the parking lot of the farm and the train had about as good a schedule as the MBTA. Somehow we managed to get it all in and we were home around 3p. That's when the sugar kicked in.. All over the place with running and jumping and toys, wrestling, etc.. I don't know where they get all this energy all the time.. it's not like they have cake all the time..
By the time halftime of the Patriots game rolled around, I was done. Thankfully my mother in law was there around 4 and helped entertain them. By 6p the Twinado had passed over the house and was on its way to its grandparents house for the night. But it left in its wake toys everywhere, food all over the place and the house in total disarray. I think I found the dog huddled over in the corner shaking..
Like I said, I love my boys, but sometimes I just can't wait for Sunday night.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Double Trouble
When I first found out we were having twins, the first thought that went through my head other than a big fat F bomb, was double everything. Double the diapers, double the clothes, double the cribs, double the Bar Mitzvah's.. Ok I jumped ahead on that one, but it's something you gotta think about.
But really right now, it's not so bad as they are pretty good at sharing so double the toys really isn't too necessary. They have their own beds and kinda share clothes now that they are the same relative size (more on that to come).
The real kicker right now is double the birthday parties.. And in more ways than one.. We decided to put them in separate classrooms. We felt that they relied on each other too much and wouldn't branch out socially if the other was always there. So when they became toddlers at school, we put them in separate classes and it seemed to work fine. However they do still wait for each other when it's time to go to the playground, and I'm ok with that. It's also kinda cute. But since they are in different classrooms, they are making different friends. Good so far. However different friends means more birthday parties.
So the standard pretty much is there are two kids, you get two presents. So if it's the boys' birthday party, more often than not they will receive 1 gift each from the child guest. If it's a close friend of ours obviously both boys will be invited and there will be two presents purchased for that birthday child. However, when it's another child's birthday say in Max's class, both boys will get invited because the parent knows they are twins. We're trying to move away from that and have Max invited to his friends' parties and vice versa for Mitch. It's challenging as they've pretty done everything and gone most everywhere together for the better part of 4 years, but if we don't do it now, it'll be harder to do when they are older.
Now, if we can only figure out how they can drive themselves there, we'd be all set.
But really right now, it's not so bad as they are pretty good at sharing so double the toys really isn't too necessary. They have their own beds and kinda share clothes now that they are the same relative size (more on that to come).
The real kicker right now is double the birthday parties.. And in more ways than one.. We decided to put them in separate classrooms. We felt that they relied on each other too much and wouldn't branch out socially if the other was always there. So when they became toddlers at school, we put them in separate classes and it seemed to work fine. However they do still wait for each other when it's time to go to the playground, and I'm ok with that. It's also kinda cute. But since they are in different classrooms, they are making different friends. Good so far. However different friends means more birthday parties.
So the standard pretty much is there are two kids, you get two presents. So if it's the boys' birthday party, more often than not they will receive 1 gift each from the child guest. If it's a close friend of ours obviously both boys will be invited and there will be two presents purchased for that birthday child. However, when it's another child's birthday say in Max's class, both boys will get invited because the parent knows they are twins. We're trying to move away from that and have Max invited to his friends' parties and vice versa for Mitch. It's challenging as they've pretty done everything and gone most everywhere together for the better part of 4 years, but if we don't do it now, it'll be harder to do when they are older.
Now, if we can only figure out how they can drive themselves there, we'd be all set.
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