Reflection

This blog is usually pretty light-hearted, but unfortunately sometimes I need to be serious.

Everyone has problems and/or issues with their kids.. No one's child is perfect (although we all like to believe so). Trust me, I know. Medical issues started with my kids while they were still in the womb! Some children have difficulty eating, some have chronic illnesses, learning disabilities, and other issues that we believe are so awful that we become so stressed about them and they start to take over our daily lives.  Not to make light of anything (I never would), but in many ways a lot of these issues are manageable whether via medicine, therapy or just good old fashioned time where the child will grow out of whatever it is.

However I heard some news yesterday about a friend's daughter that really threw me for a loop. Losing a child is quite possibly the worst thing I can think of right now. I don't know what I would do.

Thankfully they are persevering with help from friends, family and loved ones and coping the best they can with this obviously unimaginable tragedy.

So the next time you find yourself complaining about your child's issues whether it be not pooping in the potty, having trouble walking, or anything else, know that it more often than not will get better. The reason is because each day is another opportunity.

Now go hug your kids and tell them you love them.

Back In My Day...

Wow.. I'm only 36 and I'm already saying it.. I didn't think that was going to happen for a while.. Kinda like receding hairline and going to bed consistently before 10p, but I digress.

Now that my boys are almost 5 (Jesus), I can say I've been to my fair share of kids' birthday parties.. I've been everywhere from the local Discovery Museum to Jump On In.

Wow, those bounce houses are pretty much the greatest thing to happen to kids birthday parties since, well ever. I don't even really remember the birthday parties I went to to be honest. I believe for the most part we just went to McDonald's and played in the ball pits. Or maybe Papa Gino's where we got to watch the birthday child stand behind the counter and flip the dough while making their own pizza. I do remember, amazingly enough during the Blizzard of '78 (yes I was 4 months shy of 2) standing in the front door with it open just staring out into nothing because the entire door was blocked with snow. You couldn't even open it there was so much snow. Maybe I recall that because it was so memorable, unlike the birthday parties.

I went to a party the other day (not a birthday party, but mostly for kids) where there was a bouncy house. But not just any bouncy house; this one was a water slide bouncy house where you slide down and land in a pool of water! I mean seriously WHERE WAS THIS WHEN I WAS A KID?!?!?! I mean, come on.. 

My boys, once they got going were on that thing for a good 2 hours.. To tell the truth, I really wanted to go on it myself.. They actually came over to me at one point and said "Daddy, this is awesome!" It really was..

I can't even imagine what the birthday parties are going to be like when our grand kids go to them. Are they going to have hover boards like in Back to the Future? Really, what could possibly top a bouncy house water slide at this point?

Well, whatever the kids are doing at birthday parties 30 years from now, I'm hoping that I'm able to take part.. You're never to old to act like a kid.

Best of You

We made a conscious decision when we had the boys (at some point when we were conscious, but I'm not quite sure I remember when that was) that the one place we had that was sacred was our cars.  No kids music in our cars.  Period.  We were going to listen to what we liked and they were going to deal with it.  And it actually worked.  That decision has paid enormous dividends already as our kids go around singing Foo Fighters, Green Day, Beastie Boys (you gotta hear that shit, it's pretty funny).  It makes long car rides that much more enjoyable when instead of Sesame Street we're listening to Marilyn Manson covering "This is Halloween" from Tim Burton's A Nightmare Before Christmas.  For whatever reason, they're not scared.

So one day while on the way to school and listening to Foo Fighters, I told them that mommy and daddy have seen the Foo Fighters twice in concert.  So naturally, the next question is "Can we go see the Foo Fighters?"  Now, of course, these are the kids who used to go screaming from the vacuum cleaner because it was too loud.. They're supposed to sit through 3 hours of Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins and company?

So naturally I said, "well, when you're older".  But why?  Do we shield our kids from certain things just because of their age too much?  What if my boys were 10?  Would it be ok then?  Does everyone's first concert have to James Taylor or the Moody Blues?  My first concert wasn't until I was 16 (Steve Miller Band on the lawn at Great Woods).  But since there's no lawn anymore as well as it not being called Great Woods for many years, I don't go too often).

When I was 10 years old there was this huge pop star named Michael Jackson.  You might have heard of him.  He was kind of a big deal.  He was coming to the Boston Garden on tour and my sister and I wanted to go.  We were told no. Sorry mom, but looking back that would have been the most kick-ass show to say my first concert was Michael Jackson in the mid-80s.  I'm over it, but I digress.  The reason was because I was too young.  But I think that an experience like that could shape people.  What if going to that show at 10 years old brought out some love of music I didn't know I had.  Maybe then I wouldn't have had to fake play the clarinet later that year in my elementary school concert because I had no idea what I was doing. We just don't know.

Life is all about experiences and what you take from them and make from them.  So while taking my 4 year olds to see the Foo Fighters would probably be a little irresponsible, I'd say the show is quite possibly in their near future.  Because you never know, maybe it'll open up something inside of them that makes them the next Dave Grohl. (Oh that would be so awesome).

It's Like It's Their Sex

This post is in collaboration with guest contributor Jeff Blasbalg.

I have 2 boys so I don't know how it is with girls. I can only guess that the days are filled with playing dress up, dolls and dance recitals.. But that's just a guess. It might be something totally different, but I don't know.

What I do know is that I am a guy. And it's no secret that guys think about sex. There was some study done that said a guy thinks about sex like 40 times a minute. Now I didn't do the study, but that seems a little extreme. Or dead on, one or the other.

But anyway, even if it's 30 seconds out of every minute, guys think about sex a lot. Well, obviously 4 year olds have not discovered sex yet (at least we hope not). So what do the lives of 4 year old boys revolve around? Super Heroes. You name it, they love it. Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Hulk, Green Lantern, etc. It doesn't matter which one sometimes, just as long as it involves a super hero. We're talking t-shirts, bathing suits, lunch boxes, sheets, towels, sunglasses, plates, cups. Seriously, it never ends..

And it's all they talk about.. It's all they do. You think 40 times a minute is a lot to think about and/or talk about one subject? These boys live and breathe super heroes every waking moment of every day. It never ends.

I wonder what's going to happen when they discover girls and start thinking about things other than super heroes? Well let's just hope they upgraded their sheets by then.

GOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!

Well, this past spring the day had finally come for the boys' first soccer practice.. You can't really call it a game as it was more like herding cats than an actual game.. My first thoughts when signing the boys up for soccer were that one kid would kick the ball and then sit down and cry because the ball wasn't passed back to him and the other kid would just go around kicking everyone in the shins..  I'll leave it to you to guess which was which..

In any event, it wasn't so bad.. Although the kids were all over the place (there were about 20 of them) things were relatively contained.  The parents were semi-involved which was good and they kept the kids moving around for the majority of the time, which I guess is the point at the U4 level.

One thing I did notice was that every parent, grandparent, guardian or whomever had a cup of coffee in their hand.  Now, it certainly wasn't balmy out at 10a Sat morning, but it was ok.  Seriously if Dunkin Donuts would just get a mobile van and take it to all the parks around town where kids are playing baseball, soccer, etc they would make a fortune (even more than they already make)!  Fortunately for me I don't drink coffee.  Unfortunately for me, I am always tired.

It will be interesting to see how they progress with soccer and whether or not they want to continue. They're starting to get into things like music and instruments. I definitely want to encourage trying different things.  We're researching possibly signing one of them up for Ju Jitsu, but I just saw a take down of some kid on Tosh.0 last night that makes me re-think that research.

I certainly don't want to restrict them from trying anything, but I also don't want them to get burnt out because of so many activities. Unless one of them develops a 95 mph fastball with a nasty breaking ball.  Then it's on!

Used Car Amenities

So a long time ago, somewhere around 1998 I graduated college..  I had gotten a job and needed a car.  However, not just any car.  I didn't want another used car with those used car amenities.  I wanted a new car.  You know, one that started when you turned the key and and when you turned on the AC cold air blew in instead of hot air..  I was stupid as all college graduates really are and I got a car with "new car amenities"..

However one thing I still could not have, regardless of the car I bought was the ability to listen to a song anytime I wanted.  Or, better yet, be able to see what the song title was and who was singing it.  I mean, that was futuristic stuff in the late 90s!  (This was just starting to come out and was a top option in available models)

Fast forward 14 years and we have satellite radio, ipods and in many cars the text button.  Press this and on some stations it will tell you what song is playing and who the artist is.  This feature is standard for my children.  They will never know what it is like not to know the title and/or artist of the song currently playing.  And, for some reason if you are not blessed with this feature, yup there's an app for that.  I have an app on my phone as a lot of people do where if you launch it and hold it up to the speaker, it will not only tell you what the name of the song is and who is singing it, but the title of the album, it will scroll the lyrics for you and you can also download the song to your itunes with the touch of a button.  And, if you are so inclined to want to tell people what you are listening to, you can post it to Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.  Crazy..  I love it.

But I feel like the boys are missing out.  They'll never know what it's like only to have 5 or 6 channels.  They'll never know what it's like to actually BE the remote control for someone (raise your hand if you ever sat close to the TV for the sole purpose of being close enough so when your parent or older sibling told you to change the channel, you didn't have to move that much).  Keep em up.. That's right..

They'll never know what it's like to think "Argh, I forgot to set the VCR"!  Or worse, you remembered to set the VCR, but forgot to rewind the tape!  now not only do many people have DVR's, but you can set it from a computer and even your phone!  They'll never know what it's like to sit in front of your boombox for half an hour because the DJ said that coming up was your favorite song.  And while you're waiting you set up the cassette in the boombox all ready to hit play and record together so you can record your favorite song.  And then when you want to play it, you can just hit rewind and then stop.  Then play.  Realize you still have about half the song to go and then rewind some more, stop.  Play. Almost there.  Rewind and stop.  Play.  Rewind stop!  Rewind stop!  Yeah you remember doing that..

Now my 4 year olds just go to the ipod, hit itunes and play (they even have their own playlist of songs and artists they like).  For example, Foo Fighters, Beastie Boys and Green Day are in heavy rotation. Or, take the ipad, turn on Pandora, choose a station and hit play.  When they want to watch something?  On mand (On Demand to the rest of us).  For other shows and movies not on mand?  Sure, why not.  There's Netflix. Hit a few buttons on the remote and there you go!  Instant Gratification.

I have a feeling that on the way to school on Tuesday, I just might not tell them who is singing the song on the radio.  I gotta have a little fun right?

Rock, Paper, Scissors

It's been a staple of conflict resolution for centuries, Rock, Paper, Scissors.. Ok, well maybe not centuries, but you get the point..  For a very long time people have been settling disputes with Rock, Paper, Scissors.  Some people use the old "how many fingers do I have behind my back" or "I'm thinking of a number from 1-10".  We all know none of these work because you have to put complete faith in the person either holding or thinking of the numbers, and that ain't happenin...

Fast forward to a recent bath for the Twins of Anarchy.. It's always a fight to get them washed and neither one obviously wants to go first.  Usually, when I say it's time to get washed, the first words out of Daniel's mouth is "Douglas goes first".  But I figured we could turn it into a game.

They like playing this game although they just don't seem to get it 100%.. Ok boys, we're going see who gets washed first by playing Rock, Paper, Scissors!  Yay!!!  They were very excited.  I told them whoever wins 2 out of 3 will not have to go first.  I explained how to play, even though I know they "know" how..  You take 1 hand behind your back and then I will say "Rock, Paper, Scissors SHOOT"!.  When I say shoot, you will take that hand from behind your back and hold out a fist for rock, an open hand for paper or scissor-like fingers for scissors.  Got it?  They answer, yes.

Then I hear Douglas say, "Rock, Scissors, Paper, Paper, Shoot".  So I repeat what it's supposed to be and then I hear "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Paper Shoot"! Well, this is going to take forever, they could have been washed by now!

So finally we're all set.  I say when I say "Shoot", hold out your hand with what you want to throw.  Daniel bellows "I want to be rock". "I want to be paper", says Douglas.  Ugh.. "Boys, don't say what you are going to throw because then the other person will know what it is.  Just show your hand when I say shoot, ok?"  "Ok, they respond."

Ok, ready, Rock, Paper, Scissors SHOOT!"  Nothing.  Blank stares.  "Boys, you need to show your hands".  So they both show their hands and they both have rock.  Ok, a tie.  So we try it again.

"Boys, make sure to show your hand when I say shoot ok?"  "I want to be rock". "I want to be paper.".

Ok, we might have re-think this bath strategy..  "Hey boys, I'm thinking of a number 1-10"..